Chapter
17: The Heart Wants What it Wants
“Morning,
boys,” Sara said cheerfully as she waltzed into the office that morning to
find Van and Deaq playing basketball.
They
watched her as she came into the room in an elated state almost glowing.
Glancing away from her, Deaq took his time to study Van, watching to see his
reaction. Van looked like an average person, impassive, but Deaq knew him too
well. With one deep look in his eyes, he could see that Sara’s mood was truly
hurting the poor man worse than any of her tongue lashings.
Sara
tossed her helmet onto the desk as she passed it to get to the boys. Even though
she looked radiant in her black tank and khaki Capri’s, the smile she wore on
her face accented her beauty even further, really hurting Van since he hoped
he’d be the one able to put that kind of a smile on her face.
Sara
grinned at her partners as she pulled up a chair to the end of the half court.
Her attention waned when she realized that Van wasn’t wearing a shirt, only a
pair of tight fitting jeans. She loved how wonderfully sculpted his body was,
especially this close. Finally coming to her senses, Sara said, “Hey guys, I
gotta talk to you. Can you come and sit for a minute? You can go back to your
game when I finish.”
"Sure,"
they replied almost in unison, pulling chairs up to where Sara sat in hers.
As they
settled in beside her, Sara said, “Thanks, guys. I have to talk to you about
Ian and me.” Deaq stole a glance over at Van, checking his expression again,
but finding it was the same impassive look as before as Sara continued.
“Thanks to Van and our little talk last night, I got up enough courage to tell
Ian how I truly felt, and apparently he felt the same way. We had a long talk,
and to make a long story short, we decided that we were most suited for
friendship. We love each other, but it’s not the same as being in love. But we
will occasionally have sex, except in a no strings attached sort of way. And of
course, Ian will still be helping us with the case. There’s no way he would
jeopardize our lives, especially now when we’re so vulnerable. That reminds
me, he’s coming to pick up the pictures of the murder soon.”
“So, you
broke up, but you’re still having the occasional fuck?” Van asked in almost
an angry tone as he stood from his chair. “Isn’t sex supposed to be
something not taken that lightly?”
“And
this is coming from the sex god himself?” Sara shot back. “You’re not the
only nosey one here. I did my own homework on you. I know you’ve slept with
plenty of girls while on the job. So quit being a hypocrite.”
“I only
slept with them because if I didn’t, I’d blow my cover,” he yelled.
“You
know what, I’m not gonna sit here and take lip from you for the rest of the
day about the choices I make in my life,” Sara coolly replied as she stood to
face him. “Just get out of here, go home, go surfing, go do whatever you do to
cool your jets because I don’t want you coming back until you’ve calmed
down.”
“Fine!”
Van shouted as he grabbed his shirt and stormed out of the warehouse.
Deaq
turned towards her and yelled, “Why the hell did you have to go and do that?
Can’t you see the boy has it bad for you? Why did you have to pull this shit
and tear his heart in two?”
"Yeah
Right, the sex god himself in love with ordinary me. Some how I just don't think
so, Deaq," Sara said.
Deaq
looked at her astonished, "Damn, Sara, I'd have thought you'd have noticed
by now. That boy can't keep his eyes off you! He’s probably out drinking away
his sorrows. How can you play with him like that?"
"If
you're trying to make a point, I'm sure not seeing it," she replied. But as
Sara looked over at him, she saw his serious expression, and her eyes widened
then began to well with tears as the reality of the whole situation finally hit
her. "Oh, my God. What have I done? What have I done?" she cried, her
head falling into her hands.
Deaq began
to review everything that had just happened when he realized Ian would soon make
an appearance to retrieve the pictures they had taken the night before of the
fake murder scene. ‘Oh, shit!’ he thought. ‘If I’m here alone with her
while she’s crying, I don’t think I’ll live to see another day. I think
it’s about time that I disappeared.’
Before he
decided to sneak out, Deaq thought it would only be polite to apologize for
yelling at her. “Sara, I’m sorry I ripped into you like that. Please stop
crying before Ian gets here. If not, I’m gonna have to leave soon. As much as
I care about you and Van, I value my life more.”
Sara’s
sobs mixed with laughter as she looked up at him and wiped the trail of tears
that ran down her cheeks. “Does he really have it that bad for me?” she
asked in a shaky voice.
“He
does, and for once, I don’t think it has anything to do with hair color,”
Deaq joked as he wrapped his arm around Sara’s shoulders. She was laughing a
little more now as her sobs subsided.
“Thanks,”
Sara said. “I’m glad you told me. I wish I knew earlier. I probably
wouldn’t have been such a bitch. But I guess I can’t help my reputation.”
As she finished drying her tears, Sara felt the warm swirl of the Witchblade on
her wrist and looked up just before Ian knocked at the door to the warehouse.
“I’m coming!” she called the second his hand made contact with the metal.
Sara swung
the door open and smiled sweetly at Ian. Ian scanned her from her toes to her
the top of her head like he usually did, but this time he noticed the puffiness
of her eyes.
Ian eyes
narrowed at Deaq. He slowly raised his hands, palms pointing at Ian, "Dude,
It wasn't me."
Sara tried
to keep herself between Ian and his target. "Ian, Deaq didn't make me cry.
Really, he didn't. It was my own stupid idea that got me into this mess. I
should have known better that to pretend to be what I'm not," Sara told
Ian, softly caressing his cheek trying to soothe his anger.
He slowly
reached up to cup her chin. "You’re right, my Lady. You’re perfect just
the way you are."
Sara wound
her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest and whispered,
"Thank you, Ian; you're such a great guy."
Deaq
watched the scene from the sidelines. 'What? Is every guy in love with her or
have the hots for her?’ he thought. ‘Van and Ian are in love. Gallo wouldn't
be so mad at her if he didn't want some action himself, not that I could blame
any of them. If she were to ask me to jump right now, I would probably ask how
high!'
Ian slid
mostly from Sara's arms, but keeping his arm over her shoulder as he walked to
Deaq, taking Sara with him. Ian held out his other hand, and Deaq reached to
clasp it. They shook hands as Ian said, "Thanks for looking out for Lady
Sara, even through the prospect of incurring my wrath."
"You're
welcome," Deaq wryly replied.
Ian then
turned to Sara, laying his pointer finger on her cheek lightly, "Lady Sara,
if you would please get me those pictures, I will take them to Gallo, and be
back to escort you home." Sara nodded and walked to the office. "Deaq,
may I call you that?" Deaq nodded. "Well, Deaq, could I talk you into
watching over Lady Sara, until I come back to retrieve her."
"Sure,
Ian, though, I doubt if she would like that too much," Deaq replied,
smiling.
"So
true, Deaq, but she always seems to find trouble," Ian said as Sara
returned from the office with an envelope.
Sara,
sensing the room getting quieter as she walked in, asked, "What are you
guys saying about me now?"
Ian and Deaq looked at her innocently as they replied, "Nothing." Sara gave a frustrated growl when they glanced at each other and smiled.
Ian took
the envelope from her. "Thank you, Lady Sara, I will be back soon to escort
you back to your apartment. Deaq, it’s been nice talking to you again."
Then Ian walked out leaving Sara and Deaq alone in the warehouse.
Deaq
looked at Sara, "Since you ran my competition off, would you like to play a
little one on one?"
Sara
replied, "Why not? Let me go change first," as she went upstairs and
changed into her sports bra and NYPD shorts.
Deaq
watched as she entered minutes later, admiring her form. Thinking to himself as
the game started, 'God, Ian's a lucky bastard.'
*~*~*
Ian
returned to catch them finish the game and smiled at himself. If there was
someone to bet with, he would have put all his money on Sara, and sure enough as
he walked through the door, Sara sunk the winning basket. She ran around the
court, whooping and hollering. When she saw Ian, she launched herself in his
arms. He held her for a few minutes then softly set her on her feet. His fingers
curled around her chin to angle her head up as he bent down to kiss her
forehead.
“Well
don’t, my Lady. I am very proud of you.”
Sara
looked away, blushing a deep shade of red. “Come on, big boy. Take me home,”
she said, pulling him towards the door.
“Bye,
guys,” Deaq called to them as they walked out of the warehouse.
A few
short minutes later, they were nestled on Sara’s couch watching “Life Or
Something Like It” on the sixty inch plasma screen. Sara had changed into her
robe and was sitting on the other end of the couch, her head lying on the
armrest. Ian was resting comfortably when he felt Sara move and looked to find
her head resting on his chest and starting to cuddle with him. She yawned,
stretching her arms over her head, then wrapping them around his waist. “My
pillow,’ she mumbled, closing her eyes. Moments later, Sara was out cold.
Ian
didn’t bother moving, fearing that she would probably wake up and get pissed
at him. So he sat there, held her in his arms and gently stroking her long
golden locks and soft white cheeks. She was the picture of serenity, her face
calm and placid, her mouth curved in a thin smile. Ian closed his eyes and
snuggled up around her, holding her tightly as he, too, let sleep take over.
Hours
later, Sara opened her eyes feeling a pair of soft lips gently brushing up
against her cheek. She looked up to find Ian still lying below her, a peaceful
smile on his face. “Shit,” she whispered, a smile gracing her own face.
“How long have I been knocked out?”
“For
nearly six hours now. You haven’t had much sleep, have you?” Ian asked.
“No, too
many crazy things have happened in my life the last few days: Jake, the Gallo
case, Billie, Deaq, and…Van. My God, Van. Every day I find out something else
about him that completely skews my view of the little bastard. You know how I
thought at first he was nothing but a self centered prick? Well, I threw that
notion out the door this morning when I found out he had a thing for me,” Sara
explained as she sat up. “And you know what? The more I think about his
erratic behavior, the more I begin to believe it’s true. He’s been acting so
weird around me, it’s like he’s afraid of getting close, which doesn’t fit
his profile. Come on, he’s the sex god, for crying out loud. Why is he acting
so strange around me if he doesn’t like me?”
“I hope
you’re not saying you changed your mind about seeing him,” Ian replied, a
bit wearily.
“What if
I am?” Sara shot back.
Ian’s
soft caramel brown eyes quickly turned ice cold as he yelled, “You’ve been
leading me on all day! First at breakfast, twice at the Candy Store, and now
this, then you go and tell me that you’re thinking about going out with that
low life?”
“I’m
not hearing this!” Sara yelled back as she stood up and stomped into her
bedroom. She heard the door slam and returned to the living room, angrier than
she had been with Jake the morning she found out what had happened between them.
She stared at the black TV for a few minutes before she head four knocks at the
door and stood up to answer it, knowing it was probably Ian again.
“What is
it now?” she angrily yelled.
*~*~*
Darkness
had enveloped everything when Van finally woke up with a headache the size of
Van
stumbled out of the car just as Ian was leaving Sara’s apartment. Remembering
what she had told him earlier that day, he decided to go up and tell her a few
things that had been on his mind. As he headed up the stairs, tripping up a few
of them, he fumbled with what to say, but soon decided to just wing it.
Van
knocked on her door with four heavy thuds and waited for answer. Sara pulled the
door open, yelling, “What is it now?” Her eyes going wide when she realized
it was him. “Van, what are you doing here?” she asked a little more softly.
“I want
to tell you something, something that might sound strange, but it’s true,”
Van slurred, knowing he was a little drunk, but not enough to impair his
thinking. “I’m sorry about blowing up at you like that. I should respect
your decisions because you’re my boss. But I can’t keep what I’m about to
say to myself anymore. Sara, I think I’m…”
Sara
gently placed her finger on his lips and with sad eyes replied, “I know. Deaq
told me. You don’t have to say anything.”
“But I
want to,” Van said as he moved her hand away. “I think I’m falling for
you… hard, and there’s nothing that’s going to stop it unless you kill me
with that thing on your wrist,” he added, taking her right hand and pointing
to the bracelet form of the Witchblade. “It kills me to know you and Ian are
still screwing each other. I just want one shot with you. One shot, please,
it’s all I’m asking for.”
Sara smiled, her face lighting up at the sincerity of his speech. “Okay,” she whispered. “But first, I have a few things that I need to tell you."
“What?”
Van asked. She took his hand and led him into her apartment.
Sara
couldn’t simply walk around with a guilty conscience. She had to tell Van
everything, down to the fact that she and Ian had never really been together,
let alone had sex. She led him into the living room and had him sit on the couch
as she sat down on the coffee table so they were facing each other.
“Ian has
always been just a friend to me, nothing else. Before we really got to know each
other, I thought you were just a jerk. I was so sick of falling for jerks that I
used him to protect myself. We were never really involved,” Sara explained as
she took his hands into hers. “He’s my protector and my friend, nothing
else.”
“Then
why is he at your place so late at night, and why did he come out the other
night looking like he’d just been laid?” Van asked.
“Because
Irons, that sick bastard, kept Ian cut off from the rest of the world so he
wasn’t very social. Last night, I taught him how I liked to be kissed and make
it look real,” Sara confessed. She looked up into his deep blue eyes and
almost saw them twinkle in the firelight.
Her suspicions were confirmed when Van asked, “So, how do you like to be kissed?"