Chapter 31: Open Wounds

“Good morning!” Billie chirped as she walked into the Candy Store, her mood quite different from the “norm,” which usually screamed “bitch.”

“Whoa, Billie, are you okay?” Deaq quickly asked. He had never seen her so happy, and that was scary.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, her voice still light and airy.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, this time reaching out and touching her forehead this his hand. Finally, it hit him… Ian. “You had sex last night, didn’t you?” Deaq added in almost an excited tone.

“Actually, no I didn’t, but I did have one wonderful evening,” Billie answered. The smile on her face grew as she thought about seeing Ian again that night.

“Care to give any details?”

Just before Billie managed to open her mouth again, Van and Sara quickly appeared in the doorway. Sara walked over cautiously, setting her helmet down on the couch beside them in the lounge and sitting down carefully to make sure they didn’t notice her, but the opposite happened as Van made his way to the other side of the room.

“What’s up with you two?” Billie questioned, seeing how strangely they were acting.

“Nothing,” Sara said. “Why?”

“Well, you’re hands aren’t all over each other. Did you have a fight?” Billie continued her interrogation.

“If you did, was it before or after the chocolate, hot oil, and bananas?” Deaq quipped. They all gave him the death look and he quickly added, “I’ll shut up now.”

Something was definitely up, Sara could tell. Billie just wasn’t her usual bitchy self. There was something about the way she was acting that suggested she was actually happy. Then she remembered her conversation with Ian and decided to turn the tables. “How was your night with Ian?” Sara counteracted. 

“Yeah, Billie, how was your night with Ian?” Deaq piped in. If anything, Billie’s date with Ian was far more interesting than hearing about a fight between Van and Sara.

All eyes were on Billie as she glanced around the room. “It was nice,” she responded.

“It was nice?” Deaq replied in mock shock. “Come on, Billie. It couldn’t have been just nice if you walked in here all happy and shit.”

“Alright, it was one of the best nights of my life, and surprisingly, it didn’t end with sex,” she finally spilled. “Sara, why didn’t you tell me Ian had never slept with a woman? I seriously thought I had fucked everything up until he asked me out again tonight.”

Deaq’s gaze was now on Sara when she realized that he still didn’t know the truth. She swallowed hard, unable to reply. ‘Oh, boy,’ she thought. ‘I’m gonna have to tell the truth. I can’t hide any longer.’

“Guys, I have something to tell you,” Sara finally spoke up, looking down at her shoes. “Van already knows for obvious reasons, but you two haven’t heard the story.”

Van gazed at her with a warning look in his eyes. “Sara, don’t…” he began, but she stood up and quickly shushed him by placing her fingers on his lips.

“I have to,” she replied. “They need to know.” Sara stood up again, facing both Billie and Deaq with a very serious expression on her face. “Ian and I were never together. In all actuality, we’ve just become close friends, and nothing more. He’s been my shadow for the last couple months, following me around and keeping me safe from some pretty dangerous things. That’s how I’ve gotten to calling him my Protector. I know it sounds strange and all, but it’s true. I only made it look like we were together because I wanted to piss Van off since he was treating me like shit those first few days I was out here. Up until then, I was teaching Ian how to become a little more social. He was never really able to socialize because Kenneth Irons kept him on such a short leash, which is why I’m so thankful that he’s not part of Irons any longer.” Sara knew she had to choose her words wisely. If she made one slip, it would be the end of everything, and even more would flow out of her lips than was allowed. She stopped there, though, not knowing how much Ian had told Billie on their date.

Looking over at Van, Sara could see he let out a relieved sigh. He probably thought she was going to tell them all about the Witchblade, but thankfully, she hadn’t. If they didn’t know about it, at least they were safe. But then again, the Witchblade had a way of coming back to bite her in the ass the way it had with Danny nearly getting killed when she first obtained it. He didn’t know, yet was used as a pawn against her. That was the last thing Sara wanted to have happen.

Her gaze quickly returned to Deaq and Billie. Both were quite stunned by what they were hearing, especially Deaq. Besides anger being present in his dark eyes, there was also puzzlement. “You’ve been lying to me?” he asked almost suspiciously. “You, you told me I could trust you. You mean to tell me that everything you said was a lie?”

“No, some of what I told you was actually true,” Sara said. “Ian is in love with me, but I don’t love him back like that. He’s like my big brother, ya know? We are really good friends, but we’ve never slept with each other. We never had an actual relationship. I was just trying to teach him the ropes so that he’d find himself someone else to love.” She turned to Billie and added, “I was hoping it would be you because we somewhat have the same ‘bitch’ complex that he seems to tolerate. Please guys, you have to understand, I didn’t mean to hold all this back. It just happened. Don’t lose your faith in me. I’m still one who can be trusted.”

“I don’t know about that, Sara. You did after all lie to us about your relationship with Ian just to piss off Van. I don’t know how or why he’d accept you after something like that,” Deaq replied, his voice unbelievably venomous.

It cut Sara deep to see the people she had grown to trust suddenly turn on her. She tried to hide her pain, but Van seemed to notice instantly and was by her side in seconds to defend her. “Look, just because she made it seem like she and Ian were dating just to get back at me for being a dick doesn’t mean that I can’t move past it and see the whole picture,” he said. “I love her, okay?”

“What’s the whole picture, Van?” Deaq asked. “Because I’m not seeing it. Do you even know why you love her?”

Sara and Van looked at each other, both confounded by the question. Neither had ever explored that aspect of their relationship. Why did they love each other so much? Was it something other than physical characteristics or sex? Did they even know each other enough to actually be in love with one another?

Sara’s head began to spin with all the possibilities this question had brought up. What were her motives? Did she love Van, or was it simply lust that taken over her mind? ‘Enough!’ her mind screamed as she closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘You love him because you do, because he’s somehow a part of your past, because he has answers.’ Sara’s eyes widened with her revelation. Were her motives really that shallow? She looked to Van hoping he had some kind of an answer to Deaq’s question, but when she realized he was still pondering it himself, she knew he was trying to evaluate his own reasons.

Tears filled Sara’s eyes as she pulled herself away from all of them and ran. She didn’t want to face this reality any longer. Maybe she should just go back to New York and finish sorting out her problems there before she even dared to sort them out here. She ran out of the building and into the alley, only to drop to her knees and sob. It was too much for her to handle; her mind had finally cracked.

Van knew what had just happened. He could feel it too. He had no idea what his reasons were for loving Sara, he just did. She was unique in every single way. There was something about her that was absolutely mystical, but it wasn’t the Witchblade. It was more than that. It was her personality, her mind, and her body… the whole package. Van looked over at Billie and Deaq, the expression in his deep blue eyes murderous to anyone who dared to speak. He ran after Sara hoping that he’d find her before she did something crazy.

“When did you turn into Van?” Billie asked as she turned to Deaq once they were alone.

“I don’t know,” he replied in all seriousness. Deaq could feel the weight finally fall upon his shoulders. He had caused the rift between Van and Sara, and now their relationship would suffer because of him. “Oh, my God… I just ruined their lives, didn’t I?" 

“Oh, yeah, big time,” Billie answered. “Maybe they needed it. Maybe they need to see things in a different perspective to get to that whole big picture Van was talking about.”

“When did you go all philosophical?” Deaq questioned.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

Van continued to sprint outside looking for Sara. He was frantic now, calling her name and running around the warehouse like there was no tomorrow. He had to find her and talk to her. It was the only way they could get through this without too much trouble.

“Sara!” Van yelled. “Sara!” He could hear whimpering as he approached the far eastern corner of the warehouse and turned into the alley beside it. There she was, sitting on the ground, her knees pulled up to her chest, rocking back and forth as she cried. “Sara,” Van said softly as he approached her, trying not to frighten her away. He tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she violently pushed it away.

“Stay away from me,” Sara hissed. “You don’t want me. You don’t need me. I’m not worth it.”

“Sara, don’t say that,” he tried to comfort.

“But I don’t love you for who you are. I love you for who I think you are,” she replied, continuing to pull herself into a smaller ball.

“Who do you think I am?” Van softly asked as he dropped down beside her so he could gaze into those deep green eyes.

“I think you’re someone from my past. I think you’ll have the answers I need. Don’t you see? My reasons for loving you are shallow ones. I don’t deserve you,” Sara began sobbing again. “You deserve someone better than me. I’m nothing but a shallow bitch.”

“No, you’re not,” he tried to convince her otherwise. Van held up his hand to her face and gently brushed a few strands of her golden hair away from her reddened green eyes, but her gaze continued to elude him. “I know you have more reasons to love me other than that. You have to.”

“What if I don’t? What if this is really the only reason why I’ve fallen for you? I don’t want to use you to get more information about the Witchblade. It’s wrong. It’s what I’ve done with Ian. I don’t want you to become my next victim. It’s better if we just stopped this before we got too far and completely screwed things up,” Sara suggested as her eyes fell a little lower. She couldn’t stand to see the look on his face.

“Sara, no, don’t do this, please,” Van was begging. “You’re the only stable thing in my life. I can’t think of living without you. You’ve become my everything. Please, don’t tell me you’re ready to give up just because of one little setback.”

“But I don’t love you for who you really are,” Sara nearly yelled.

“Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. It’s right there, in your smile, in your tears, in everything that you do, everything that you touch. Sara, don’t shut me out of your life just like that. You’re the only thing keeping me sane at the moment,” he said, cupping her face with his hands and making her look him in the eye.

“Why do you love me?” Sara asked suddenly. It was only fair. He knew her motives, she should know his.

“I love you because you’re special. You have this wonderful personality that attracts people to you. You’re the most carefree person on earth. You’re kind hearted and giving and loyal. I’ve never met a girl with a heart bigger than yours. You’re also beautiful, inside and out. Are those enough reasons, or do you want me to list a few more, because I have plenty,” Van said as he continued to hold her face in his hands, the tears gently washing over his fingers as he wiped them away. “I also promised I’d never leave you, and I keep my promises.”

“I know,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck as she continued her sob session on his shoulder. Van held her tight, hoping to absorb some of her negative energy while he comforted her. It was strange to finally know the truth, but it also felt good to have it out in the open. At least their relationship would grow strong because of this, or so he hoped.

Slowly pushing them both off the ground, Van gently picked Sara up in his arms with her head resting on his shoulder and carried her back inside where Deaq and Billie stared in amazement. Van glared at them, indicating his hatred with his dark blue eyes, and headed for the lounge where he set Sara down on the couch. He tried to make her comfortable, stacking pillows behind her back and throwing a blanket over her body, but nothing could end her weeping. She noticeably shook in his arms until she finally passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Van placed a soft kiss atop her forehead and left the room for a few minutes to see if he could find an extra blanket. As he entered the main showroom, he encountered Deaq and Billie, who finally spoke up.

“Van, I’m sorry,” Deaq broke the silence first.

“You’re sorry?” Van almost squeaked in anger as he approached him. “You’re sorry! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? You’ve put Sara through a living hell when she was already struggling to get away from the last one! The girl has been hurt over and over and over again! I understand her pain. I understand her need for escape. I understand why she can’t handle all of this. She may be a tough girl on the outside, but on the inside, she’s just as fragile, if not more, than glass. One tap and it shatters. That’s what happened today. You really managed to put her in bits and pieces by making her question too many things at once. She has a high tolerance for this kind of stuff, but today, you managed to push it. And you know what, she got hurt. I’m surprised she hasn’t had a mental breakdown yet.”

“Look, Van, I’m sorry,” Deaq tried to apologize again. “I didn’t know Sara was under so much stress. Maybe if she had said something before, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.”

“There you go again!” Van yelled. “You’re blaming Sara for something she had no control over. Don’t you think she has a good reason for keeping secrets?”

“I think she does, but when those reasons start to interfere with work, they should come out,” Deaq replied calmly.

“Why would she want to tell us something that she obviously doesn’t want to talk about?” Van questioned. “Maybe its better that she keeps things to herself. Maybe it’s better than we didn’t know. Did you ever think about that?”

“Guys,” came Sara’s shaky voice over their argument. They all looked at her as she leaned against the wall, her feet unstable, her face paler than white. “Stop, please,” she begged, taking a step closer, but didn’t manage to walk very far as her eyes began to flutter and she fell to the floor.

“Oh, God! Sara!” Van said as he ran to her side, gently rolling her over on her back. “Sara! Sara, baby. Wake up,” he frantically added, gathering her in his arms. Her body was so cold, but her forehead burned against his hand. “Sara, no, not now, please.” Van was on the verge of tears as held her tightly. She moved, but barely.

“Ian,” Sara barely whispered. “Call… Ian,” she managed to say before she passed out again.

Van reached into Sara’s pocket and pulled out her cell phone then quickly tossed it to Billie. “Call Ian,” he barked. “His number should be in there.”

“Alright,” she replied, turning completely serious. Billie quickly went through the phone book and found his number. When someone picked up, she yelled, “Ian! It’s Billie. I’m using Sara’s phone. Come quick. Something’s wrong with her. She told Van to call you before she passed out.”

“I’m on my way. Don’t call any authorities until I arrive,” Ian replied then hung up. He had sensed the change in Sara’s mood almost as quickly as she experienced it. He also knew something was very wrong when he felt her entire body throw a fit against her. Something was happening to her, and he didn’t like it.

Chapter 32: The Battle Within

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