Chapter
35: Sweet Surrender
“So, what happened to you while you were…out?” Deaq asked between
bites of his slice of pizza.
“That’s the strange thing. I have no recollection of what happened,”
Sara replied as she grabbed another slice and began to devour it. “It must
have been something exhausting. I’m on my third piece, and I think I can eat
ten more.”
“You scared the shit out of us,” Van continued as he wrapped a free
arm around her. “You started having some sort of a seizure, then cuts or
scratches or bruises began to appear on your skin. We seriously though we were
going to lose you from the amount of blood you lost. And that’s not the half
of it.”
“Ooh, that’s scary. I can see why you were so freaked out,” Sara
said as she leaned into Van for a reassuring hug. “But don’t worry. I have a
feeling that nothing like this is ever going to happen again.” She grabbed her
soda and gulped down almost half the can before she put it down again, then let
out a belch that almost echoed through the Candy Store.
“Whoa, that was nasty,” Deaq recoiled.
“Sara!” Van griped.
She looked at both of them with an embarrassed smiled on her face.
“What, you’ve never heard a girl burp before? Come on!” she giggled.
“Besides, I probably picked up that little habit back at the 11th
Precinct. I was, after all, the only woman in homicide. I had to find a way to
fit in with the guys. I think I was the only girl to ever successfully pass as a
guy and remain straight. Just put me in a suit and I’d fit in perfectly.”
They all laughed at her comment as she tried to take a bite of her pizza
without having it fall out of her mouth. Sara couldn’t help herself. She
missed doing this with Danny and the guys back in
“So, what else happened while I was unconscious?” Sara questioned,
trying to keep the sadness out of her voice. She wanted to see her friends in
“You got a phone call,” Deaq answered. “You friend…Vicky?” Sara
nodded her head in interest. “She said she’s gonna be here this Saturday at
“That’s Vicky for ya,” Sara replied as she reached into her pocket
and pulled out her phone. After finding the number in her phone book, she
pressed the send button.
“Mmmm… hello?” came the sleepy answer.
‘Shit,’ Sara silently cursed when she realized it was probably two in
the morning back in
“Pez!” Vicky exclaimed, quickly becoming wide awake. “You got my
message!”
“Did I wake you?” Sara questioned.
“No, I was just dozing. I’m on the night shift this week. Thanks for
waking me up. Dante would have killed me if he found me asleep,” Vicky
replied. “So, you know I’ll be in LA Saturday, right?”
“Yeah,” Sara answered. “Why?”
“Because you haven’t called me since you left, and I thought you were
pissed at me, so I took my vacation early this year so I could see you. Are you
pissed at me?”
“No, I’m not…”
“Because I’m really sorry about bitching at you for your choice to go
to LA instead of staying here and working out your problems.”
“Let me guess, you talked to Jake?”
“Actually, I didn’t even need to talk to him. I took one look and knew
what happened. Girl, you did a number on him.”
“I had some help from a couple of very good friends.”
“Van and Ian?”
“You’ve been talking to Danny!”
“No shit, Pez. I talk to him everyday now that you’re gone, and it’s
mostly about what’s going on with you. We miss you, girl. When are you coming
back?”
“I don’t know,” Sara sighed. That was something she was hoping to
not think about until it actually came. “We’ve got this really big murder
case that fell into our laps the other day. I’ll be back after we crack it.”
“Cool,” Vicky replied. “So, what’s Van like?”
Sara began to laugh. “I knew you’d ask me that at some point during
this conversation.”
“Well, don’t hold back the details! Tell me!” Vicky half jokingly
demanded.
“I’ll tell you when you get here,” Sara answered.
“Oh, he’s sitting next to you, isn’t he?” Vicky quickly assumed.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, we can save this for later. Just make sure you’re at LAX
around
Sara laughed again. “Alright! I will!” she replied. “Get back to
work.”
“Bye, Pez! I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Vic.” Sara finally turned off her phone and looked over at the
two guys looking at her intently. “What are you two staring at?”
“Nothing,” Van replied, looking away. “So, your nickname is Pez?”
“You were listening in on my conversation!” Sara nearly yelled in a
half joking tone as she smacked Van in the arm.
“Technically, I wasn’t listening in. I overheard your conversation,”
he replied, matter-of-factly.
“Shut up before you overhear something you’re not gonna like,” she
said. “And yes, my nickname is Pez, ya know, short for Pezzini. Why do you
think I picked PezAngel as my text messenger name?”
“I don’t know,” Van shrugged. “I just thought you really liked the
candy.” She glared at him. “Or you were just as sweet.”
“You damn sap!” Sara giggled. “You know exactly how to weasel your
way out of things.”
“So I can assume you’re not pissed at me and I can kiss you,” he
said.
“You don’t have to assume,” she replied, pulling him in for a short
lip lock.
“Guys, could you please cut it out?” Deaq asked, getting quite annoyed
by the display of affections. “You’re making me sick.”
“Are you jealous?” Sara inquired, noticing his tone. He quickly looked
away like he hadn’t heard the question. “Ooh, Deaq is jealous! Come on,
admit it!”
“I’m not admitting anything,” Deaq answered as he crossed his arms
over his chest.
“I think I know somebody that might wanna hook up with you. She’s
pretty, she’s sweet, and she has one wicked sense of humor,” Sara said.
“Don’t tell me it’s your friend Vicky,” he replied.
“Give her a chance! You haven’t even met her yet and you’re already
saying no. Just come to the airport with us and meet her. It’s not gonna kill
you,” she tried to convince him otherwise, giving him those big sad puppy dog
eyes that made every guy squeamish.
“Oh, why do you have to give me that look?” Deaq groaned. “That damn
kicked puppy almost always works, especially now after what happened to you. I
just can’t say no.”
Sara smiled. “Great!” she said happily. “You’re gonna love Vicky!
She’s is a great person.”
“Whatever,” Deaq mumbled as he rolled his eyes.
Sara stood up, the need to stretch her legs becoming apparent when she
felt them go numb. She yawned and looked at her watch. “Damn, it’s almost
twelve. I’m so tired. I think I’m gonna go home,” she said. “Thanks for
dinner, Deaq. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Thanks, man,” Van added as he followed her.
*~*~*
‘How nice it is to have a guy do the cooking for once,’ Billie thought
as she continued to soak in the tub, oblivious to anything and everything around
her. Even if Ian decided to walk in on her at the moment, she wouldn’t care.
She was far too relaxed. The day had been exhausting, but the evening would be
worth all the trouble she had gone through, especially with him. Billie knew she
had helped push Ian into getting over Sara. That was the first of many things
he’d push him into doing. Cooking was the second thing, but then again, he had
offered.
Taking a whiff of the air around her, Billie could smell the wonderful
aroma of chicken parmesan and pasta mixing with the fragrances of her strawberry
kiwi soap. She could feel her stomach growl beneath the mountain of bubbles
around her and decided she had pruned enough. It was time to get out of the bath
tub and head over to the kitchen for dinner.
To add to the already romantic feel of the evening, Billie decided to put
on only a pair of lacy red undergarments and a robe. If she played her cards
right, there was a possibility she could break her dry spell. And that would be
one welcomed relief. It had been nearly four months since her last encounter
with a guy, but it had been a crappy one leaving her completely unsatisfied.
Billie decided not to dwell on the details and let the night take its natural
course. If she was meant to have sex, then so be it. If not, then too bad. She
was old enough to accept it.
Billie walked out of her bedroom feeling comfortable and relaxed. This was
the best she had felt in weeks, especially after that drug bust that almost
killed her. She was just glad that the little snitch that almost ended her life
was behind bars for attempted murder, illegally fleeing the country, and
possession of marijuana and illegal firearms. Her ribs still hurt from the
rollover, but what really pissed her off was that her prized possession, the
Steve McQueen car from “Bullitt,” had been completely destroyed, and this
time Van and Deaq couldn’t fix it. But she wouldn’t let those thoughts ruin
what she knew was going to be a perfect night.
Smiling as she walked into the kitchen, Billie surprised Ian by slipping
her arms around his waist and laying her cheek against his shoulder. He turned
from the stove and looked at her.
“Did you have a nice bath?” Ian asked.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Billie answered. “And I thought the
aching in my ribs would never go away.”
“What happened to them?” he politely inquired, wanting to make small
talk, which wasn’t all that easy for him since he had no real experience with
it. Ian was more used to being direct than making idle chat.
“Rollover a few weeks ago. My little snitch almost killed me and got
away, but leave it to Van and Deaq to save the day. They caught the little
bastard in
“I’m glad you came back,” Ian replied as he turned to embrace her.
“If you hadn’t, we never would have met, and that would have been a sad
event.”
Billie reached around his neck and pulled the already loose rubber band
out of his hair, letting the long dark silky strands fall into her hands. She
smiled, her eyes almost twinkling in the moonlight, as her fingers ran through
it. “You should let your hair down more often. It makes you look extremely
sexy,” Billie whispered in a husky voice. ‘Oh, God, I don’t think I’m
gonna make it another day without sex,’ she thought, her eyes longingly
looking over the man she had her arms wrapped around.
Ian quickly moved her away, noticing how quickly she was excited by even
the smallest thing. Maybe it hadn’t been the right idea to go to her place
that night. He clearly remembered what happened the last time. “Wine?” he
asked, trying to diffuse the situation without pissing Billie off.
“Yeah, sure,” she replied, a bit confused by what had just happened.
Then she realized she was doing it again, getting a little too hot and bothered.
Billie took a deep breath to calm her nerves and graciously took the wine Ian
had poured for her. ‘This is going to be a long night,’ she thought.
*~*~*
Sara’s apartment was a quiet sanctuary where both she and Van were peacefully relaxing. Soft music like Mandy Moore’s “I Wanna Be With You” and candles filled each room, lightening the mood even further. Sara stood in the kitchen pouring two glasses of wine. After putting the wine back in the wine rack, she made her way towards her bathroom where she had drawn Van a warm bath, realizing he was beyond exhausted and needed to relax.
“Hey, baby, how do you feel?” Sara asked as she walked in and sat down
at the edge of the tub, handing him his glass of wine.
“Better,” Van softly replied after taking a sip. “But I should be
doing this for you. You’re the one that needs the pampering.”
“For once let me do the pampering,” she said. “You deserve it
tonight. You look exhausted. You’re the one who’s been on an emotional
roller coaster. I, on the other hand, have been asleep most of the day. I really
don’t need the rest.”
Van smiled as he reached over and grabbed her hand to gently squeeze it.
“What would I do without you?” he asked, gazing into those deep green pools
of her eyes. They sparkled in the candle light.
“I don’t know,” Sara answered with a sweet smile.
“I love you,” Van whispered.
“I love you, too,” she softly replied. Van yawned against his will
prompting Sara to take the wine glass from him and say, “Alright, tiger, time
for bed.”
“But Mom!” he began to playfully whine. Sara gave him a look and he
quickly stopped. She walked out of the bathroom to take the wine glasses back to
the kitchen. When she re-entered her room, Van was dressed in only a pair of
navy blue drawstring sweats, waiting for her. Sara smiled as she walked over to
him and wrapped her arms around his bare waist.
“You feel a little tense,” she said, her hands gently moving over the
muscles of his back.
“Really?” Van asked as he pulled away. He saw the look in her eyes and
could only speculate what she was trying to get at.
“Lie down on your stomach,” Sara ordered. “I’m giving you
something that I usually don’t get to give anyone, my world famous massage.”
“Ooh, sounds good,” he replied, doing as he was told. Sara sat down
beside him on her knees and slowly began to work his tense muscles with her warm
hands. Van let out a heavy sigh, relaxing almost instantly. He was really
beginning to like this. If she kept it up, he’d probably be asleep by the time
she was done.
Half an hour later, Sara was finished and Van was fast asleep. She changed
into a tee shirt and a pair of cotton shorts then climbed into bed beside him,
careful not to wake him up. “Good night, Van,” Sara whispered as she pulled
the covers over them and kissed his forehead.
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
But Sara didn’t fall asleep. She stayed awake, watching him as he slept.
Van looked so peaceful laying there beside her. His face was completely relaxed,
as was the rest of his body. Never had she seen him look so serene. The episode
today probably took a lot out of him she thought. Sara let her hand gently slip
over his cheek, softly caressing it. She didn’t know how or why, but all she
wanted was to be close to him, to touch him, to feel him, and make sure that
this wasn’t a dream, that she was really there with him.
I
don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Sara didn’t know what had happened while she was unconscious, but it
must have been something that changed her perspective on love because right now
that was the only feeling pulsing through her veins: pure love for the Van Ray
sleeping beside her, not the person he might be from her past. She loved what
was real about him: his beautiful sapphire eyes, his smile, his body, the way he
spoke to her, the way he touched her, the way he always made her feel so
special, and the way he was so gentle in those few precious moments like this
one.
Lying
close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
“I really do love you for you,” Sara whispered as a smile came across
her face.
I
don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Van moved closer unconsciously. Sara wrapped her arms around him and laid
her head on his pillow, so close she could feel his breaths on her skin. She
sighed and closed her eyes, content with her position, and fell into a dreamless
and peaceful sleep.
*~*~*
Billie was struggling with her self control that night. Dinner had been
served and she was barely a quarter of the way through her chicken parmesan,
picking at it with her fork as her mind wrestled with her sex drive. ‘I can
control myself. I just like being around him,’ she thought, but other parts of
her anatomy screamed, ‘You wanna jump his bones and you know it!’
‘No, I don’t!’ she yelled back.
‘Yes, you do! Admit it! You wanna fuck him silly!’
‘STOP!’ Billie almost screamed out loud as she put her hand up against
her forehead, wishing the voices would go away.
“Billie, are you alright?” Ian asked from the other side of the table
as he watched her closely. She seemed a little detached lately, and he knew it
had something to do with him.
“Yeah, fine,” she barely replied without looking up. She feared
she’d go into sexual overdrive if she even tried staring into those deep
caramel eyes. ‘I wish I hadn’t invited him to dinner,’ Billie thought,
cursing herself for being so stupid. ‘He’s just a little boy inside. How the
hell can you expect him to have sex with you, especially with those ideals of
finding the right girl he has planted in his head?’
‘Oh, come on, you know he has a thing for Sara. Why not just jump his
bones now and get it over with so he’ll stop thinking about her and start
thinking about you?’ her other half asked.
‘Because he’s so fragile. Remember what happened last time? You almost
fucked up the whole night. Leave him be! Give him some time to adjust. Getting
Sara off his mind is already an almost impossible goal to accomplish in this
lifetime. Even if he falls in love with me, that don’t mean he’ll be
completely over Sara,’ Billie tried to reason with herself. ‘Oh, god, what
am I doing? Am I really trying to set myself up for pain here?’
‘There’s only one way to find out…screw him tonight and you’ll
find out.’
‘Will you stop that?’ she yelled at herself. ‘He’s inexperienced!
How the hell is he just supposed to agree to have sex with me? It’s just
wrong, I tell you, wrong! I don’t want to scare him away! That’ll completely
ruin everything. I have to control this.’
‘What about a compromise?’ Billie’s other half suggested. ‘You say
you wanna teach him a few things about pleasing women, he complies, you get
semi-screwed, and he gets over his fears. Sound good?’
‘Actually, that sounds pretty good,’ she agreed, a wicked smile coming
across her face. ‘I know he’ll go for it. All he ever wants to do is learn.
Why not just teach him a few…maneuvers and he’ll be set? Oh, this is
sounding better and better the more I think about it!’
“Billie?” Ian asked, noticing the look on her face change from slack
to devious. Her internal conflict must have somehow switched directions, and now
he didn’t know what to expect.
“I’m fine,” she sweetly replied, looking up at him with those mystic
blue eyes that undeniably captivated him and a smile across her light pink lips.
“You know what, Ian? I want to teach you a few things about women that all
guys should know. If you want me to, that is.”
He looked at her, intrigued. “Alright,” Ian steadily replied. “What
exactly are you going to teach me?”
“How to please a girl without actually having sex with her,” Billie
answered nonchalantly. His eyes widened as he dropped his fork. She held in the
laugh that tempted to escape from her lips and just smiled up at him, her eyes
saying everything.
Billie stood up and walked over to his side of the table, sitting down in
his lap. “The first thing I’d like to teach you is how to be comfortable.
You really need to relax and be confident. There’s no way you’re gonna put a
girl in the mood if you’re not in it yourself,” she instructed. Her hand
slipped behind his head and pulled his hair out of that loose ponytail he had
put it up in again, running her fingers through it. “Just relax,” Billie
whispered as she leaned in close to his ear, “and wrap your arms around me.”
Ian nodded and did what he was told. She smiled. If this was how it would
be the rest of the night, she knew she could do a lot more than she expected.
Billie’s lips fell on his for a deep, sensual kiss as her hand guided his
beneath her robe and to the soft supple skin of her stomach, letting it inch its
way up until his fingers reached the lacy frills of her bra.
“You’re a good student,” Billie said as she stood up from Ian’s
lap and slipped out of her robe, revealing the red undergarments beneath it. She
took his hand and led him over to the living room. “Lesson number two,” she
added, “your hands are a girl’s best friend. Use them.”
Billie lay on the couch, dragging Ian down with her. She pulled his mouth
down to hers and kissed him, all the while sliding his hand beneath her bra
allowing him to cup her breast. Ian took his cue and started to massage her
ample bosoms, rolling the nipples between his thumb and the side of his palms.
He was drinking from her mouth as if she was the last drop of water on the
earth. Billie broke away to catch her breath as she arched into his hands, but
also reaching behind her to unclasp her bra.
Ian didn't want to remove his hand from the prize, but so wanted to unveil
his present. He nipped at her shoulder; his tongue flicked out licking her skin
softly as his teeth caught the red strap and gently tugged it down her arm. He
repeated the process as Billie watched, astonished, while he whipped her bra
across the room with just his teeth. His mouth returned to hers for only a
moment before it trailed down her body to the treasures that where still being
plundered by his hands. He nipped
and sucked on her engorged nipple as his hand, no longer needed, went down to
find other buried treasures.
Billie moaned as hand slipped beneath her red panties and hit its mark.
"Ohhh Gawwwddd, Ian, I would be your playground anytime," she moaned
as her hands went down to pull his shirt out from his pants. “Seems
like…you’ve done this…before,” Billie panted as Ian’s fingers began to
caress that oh so sensitive spot between her legs.
“Just once,” he whispered, pulling away from her for only a moment to
see the look on her face. He smiled at the shock present in those beautiful blue
pools. It was soon replaced with unbridled passion and desire. Ian continued his
torture on her body until she began to turn red and started to squirm. Billie
couldn’t take it anymore and closed her eyes, her impending orgasm threatening
to rock through her body at any moment. She reached over her head and grabbed
the armrest of the couch as her other hand slipped into his hair. Finally, she
arched into him, a high pitched groan escaping her lips as she hit her climax.
Ian wrapped his other arm around her waist and held her against him until her
body stopped quivering and her breathing became normal. He removed his hand from
her wet depths as she sighed heavily, feeling the empty void it left within her.
“It’s been too long since that’s happened to me,” Billie whispered
as he gently released his grip on her and she fell back onto the couch. “Who
on earth did you learn that from?”
“I didn’t really learn it from anyone. I only tried it once, but with
undesirable consequences,” Ian answered.
“Let me guess, Sara?” Billie questioned, looking into those deep
caramel eyes. He turned away, the pain become ever present. “It’s still hard
to get past her, isn’t it?” He nodded. “We’ll keep trying, then. Some
way or another, I’m gonna get you to see past her and find that there’s more
to the universe than Sara.”
“I’m willing to move on, it’s just that my heart is having a hard
time accepting that she has chosen Van and not me,” Ian replied. “But I am
grateful that someone like you came around so quickly to replace her.”
Billie didn’t know what to do besides smile at his admission. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as she thought it would be. Maybe in this lifetime Sara was meant to be with someone else and Ian was meant to be her. Whatever the case may be, Billie was happy to just have this moment locked in her memory forever. She reached up to kiss him again, then pulled him down against her body as they held each other for the rest of the night.
A/N: Music: "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith