Chapter
42: My Stupid Mouth
Sara sat
on the couch alone in the Candy Store lounge, her eyes shut, her arm resting
over them. Her head was spinning with the force of ten G’s, all making her
life a living nightmare. She wanted to be left well alone for the rest of that
afternoon, and made it clear when Ian tried to bother her. She ripped into him
like a piece of meat, then spit him out again, praying that he knew she didn’t
really mean it. It was just her way of dealing with things when they didn’t go
her way. For the rest of the day, everyone stayed clear of her, and she managed
to fall asleep.
But her
sleep wouldn’t last long. Van strode into the warehouse, a smile on his face
and his hands in his pockets. Billie, noticing his mood almost immediately,
moved in to strike him down. “What are you so happy about?” she asked in
that bitchy tone from her office where Michael still sat in his chair waiting
for someone from the department to take him into protective custody.
“Don’t
even think about it, Billie. Nobody’s gonna get me off this high,” Van
called to her as he walked past her office and towards the lounge where he could
see Sara fast asleep on the couch, her arm draped over her eyes. He began
feeling sorry for her, especially after all she had been through that day, and
really didn’t want to wake her up, but with what he had planned for that
evening, he wanted to get her out of here as soon as possible.
“Sara,”
Van gently whispered as he came up next to her. She didn’t move, but her
middle finger quickly sprang up telling him to fuck off before she killed him.
But Van remained undeterred. He sat down beside her and gently pressed his lips
against the bare skin of her shoulder. He continued to move up towards her face,
gently kissing her neck, her cheek, then finally falling on her lips. She moved
her arm away from her eyes and kissed back softly, proving her foul mood had
been lessened in that simple act.
“Mmmm…
that was nice,” Sara rasped as she opened her eyes and smiled. “Sorry about
the finger.”
“It’s
okay. I understand. You’re tired and worn out. Maybe we should head home,”
he suggested.
“Not
yet,” she replied. “I wanna talk to you first. I think I’m ready to have
the
“Alright,
so am I,” Van said as he made himself comfortable beside her.
Sara sat
up from her slumped position so that they could speak clearing without having to
shout or whisper. “As you know, once these cases are closed, I have to go back
to
“Excuse
me?” Van replied brashly. “You want me to just pick up and leave LA to go to
“Because I’ve built my life in
“Well then, why did you ask for a transfer out here?”
“Because I wasn’t expecting to run into you and fall in
love! This was supposed to be temporary, just until everything with McCarty
simmered down and I could start rebuilding my life.”
“You wanna start fresh, why not here? Is LA not good enough
for you?”
“God, Van! You can really be stupid sometimes!” Sara
yelled back at him. “I have nothing against LA! It’s just that I was born
and raised a New Yorker. I’ll never adjust to living in LA! It’s not
“But why would you wanna go back there? To relive all those
horrible memories of Irons trying to kill you, or McCarty taking advantage of
you, or Daniel?” Van tried to reason with her, but only struck the deepest of
her wounds open.
Sara lashed out with, “What about you? Why don’t you
wanna leave LA? Don’t you wanna leave all your horrible memories behind as
well? I know you still have a grudge against your dad. I know the last thing
you’re waiting for is his release from jail because it’s only gonna bring
back bad memories of that horrible childhood you had. And we can’t forget all
those people you’ve lied to and how bad you’ve felt about that!”
Van stood up. He couldn’t believe where Sara was taking
this conversation. “That’s none of your business to judge!” he yelled.
“Well, it’s none of your business to judge either!
You’re supposed to love me, but apparently, you don’t!” Sara was now
screaming as she stood up to see eye to eye with him.
“I don’t love you? I DON’T LOVE YOU!” Van hollered
back. “You don’t love me!”
“Oh, BULL SHIT! Why the hell would I defend myself if I
didn’t love you? Why the hell would I even wanna be with you? You’ve got so
many issues, I don’t know how ANY girl would want you after what I’ve seen
and heard, but I’m still here, aren’t I?” she shouted vehemently.
“Oh, and you don’t have issues? You must be the QUEEN of
issues because you have ten times more than I do! You’re… you’re
indecisive, you’re pissed off easily, and you have a problem with authority!
Not to mention, you’re a BITCH!”
Sara was outraged, and the only thing she could think of
doing was slapping him… hard. The sound echoed through the Candy Store as
everyone stopped what they were doing and just watched the action as it
happened. “You bastard!” Sara said between clenched teeth, her eyes ready to
spill tears as she held them back with all the power she could muster. “Fuck
you and the horse you rode in on!” She turned and headed out the door.
My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change
Van was left standing there feeling like an idiot, his cheek
still burning from that slap in the face. He had let his temper run wild again,
and this time he knew getting Sara back wouldn’t be as easy as it had been the
first time. “Sara! Wait!” he yelled, running up beside her.
Sara turned, her green eyes on fire, as she retorted, “What
part of ‘fuck you’ don’t you understand?”
“I’m sorry,” Van apologized. “Please, don’t go. I
didn’t mean that.”
“You know what, you really screwed up this time, so until
you’re actually ready to apologize, stay out of my way!” Sara yelled as she
walked out of the warehouse and hopped on her bike, her destination being home.
Oh, another social
casualty
Score
one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon
Van stayed at the door, watching her as she disappeared down
the road while his heart sank into his shoes. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” he
cursed himself as he hit his head against the doorframe several times. He knew
he should have just sat there and waited for Sara to explain why she wanted Van
to go to
We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just slipped out and what went wrong
“What?” Van cried out. “No comments? No insults? No
sarcastic bull shit? Come on, I’m waiting! Billie, I know you’re itching to
say something. Go on and say it. And Deaq, I know you’ve been waiting a
looooong time to tell me off. Well, now’s your chance! I’m here, I’m
waiting. Speak now or forever hold your peace!”
Oh, the way she feels
about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one
Still, they all remained quiet. Frustration was apparent on
Van’s face as he looked around the room waiting for someone to rip into him
for the mistake he had made. He was just itching to take his anger out on
someone, but there was no one willing to get their ass kicked at the moment.
Billie and Deaq knew all too well he had a temper, and that now was not the time
to speak. They’d let him simmer down first before even going there.
I'm never speaking up
again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
“FINE!” Van yelled when he had no takers to his
challenge. “Stay quiet! But you’d better not rip into me later, because may
God have mercy on your soul if you do!” With that, he stormed out of the Candy
Store and got into his car. With the radio on, he pulled onto Highway 5 and just
drove for miles.
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire
An hour passed, then two, then four, until it was finally
pitch black, with only a sliver of the moon showing. Van looked at his watch to
see it was nearing
Oh, another social
casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon
Finally,
he stopped just short of the
I'm
never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
Back in
LA, Sara was sitting on her couch aimlessly watching the TV screen. This was
definitely one of those days where she wished she could completely forget about
everything that had happened, but her mind remained troubled. The Witchblade
swirled on her wrist, telling her that something was amiss. She didn’t know
what, but it probably had to do with Van. ‘Like I care,’ she thought,
rolling her eyes just as her phone began to ring. Checking the caller ID, she
found it was Billie.
“Pezzini,
go,” she answered in almost a growl.
“Sara,
has Van tried to contact you?” Billie questioned.
“No,
thankfully. Why?”
“Because
nobody can seem to find him. His cell is off, and he’s not answering his home
phone. I sent Deaq over to his apartment, and he’s not there. I know you’re
probably still pissed at him, but the way he stormed out of the Candy Store this
afternoon has the rest of us really worried,” Billie replied.
Sara sat
up, her eyes immediately going to the swirling bracelet on her wrist as things
began to connect in her mind. “Did you try the beach?” she asked.
“At this
hour? I seriously doubt he’d be there,” Billie said skeptically.
“What
did he do, exactly?” Sara questioned.
“He got
pissed, and when I say pissed, I mean pissed.
He was on the war path. Please, Sara, if he gets a hold of you, tell him to come
back. We’re all really worried,” Billie replied in a tone that scared Sara,
one that was soft and caring, the complete opposite of what Billie had been
earlier that day. There was genuine concern in her voice for her employee, which
prompted Sara to get up off her ass and find out where the hell he went. She
hopped on her bike, and using the Witchblade as her guide, started down the
freeway in the direction it began to pulse faster and stronger.
‘How
nice? It’s a homing beacon as well as a medieval weapon,’ Sara thought, glad
to have the bracelet guiding her way. The further away from LA she got, the
harder the bracelet began to pulse. She knew she was on the right track. Now, if
only she could stop herself from getting angry at him for the way he had acted
that day. ‘Relationships are all about compromise. Find a middle ground and
then discuss. And for god’s sake, try not to get too pissed off at him,’ she
chided herself as she tore down the freeway at breakneck speed.
The sun
had set hours ago, but still Sara continued in the darkness, the Witchblade
showing her the way. She didn’t know how many hours had passed since she had
started the journey up north, but a sign told her she was fifteen miles away
from
Come
up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Van heard
the low growl of a motorcycle pulling up beside him but didn’t bother to look
in its direction. If his suspicions were right, a cop had probably found him and
was about to tell him to get the hell out of there before he was arrested.
‘Like I care,’ he thought, his eyes still falling on the moon as it made its
way through the clear night sky. “If you’re gonna arrest me, go ahead and do
it,” he told the person now standing beside him in the darkness.
“I’m
not arresting you, as much as I’d like to throw you in jail at the moment,”
a familiar voice replied.
Van’s
eyes shot over to the woman beside him in shock. “S-S-S-Sara?” he stuttered,
unable to believe she had found him. “What the hell are you doing here? How
did you know where I was?”
“A
certain object of power told me I’d find you out here,” she answered,
hopping onto the hood of his car and lying back beside him as her eyes wandered
upwards. “How’s your cheek?”
“Still
stings a little,” Van replied, unable to look at her. A long, uneasy silence
fell between them as they both thought about what they’d say to each other
after what had happened that afternoon. He wanted to apologize, but not before
she did it. ‘She started it,’ he reasoned.
Nobody
said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
Finally,
Sara spoke up, “I’m sorry about yelling at you. I didn’t mean to say you
didn’t love me, because I know you do, otherwise neither of us would be
putting up with this shit. I’m also sorry about the whole issues thing and
that other stuff I said about you leaving LA.”
“I’m
sorry about calling you a bitch and indecisive and pissy and anything else I
called you,” he apologized as well. “I’m sorry about bringing up your past
in
“Me
too,” Sara said. “I shouldn’t have been such a bitch, but that’s Sara
Pezzini for you. I’ve got a temper nobody can escape from.”
Van
chuckled, “You got that right.” They finally turned and looked at each
other. “You know I love you, right?” he asked softly, his hand gently
running over her cheek.
“Yeah,”
Sara whispered, smiling. “And you know I love you, too?”
I
was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
“I
know,” he answered, leaning in for a delicate kiss. When he pulled away, he
continued, “I also know that I can’t live without you and I need you and I
can’t stand to be away from you, which is why I’m willing to move to
“What?
Anything!” Sara excitedly replied as she gazed into those marvelous blue eyes
under the starry night sky.
Van pulled
something out of his back pocket and took her hand. “Marry me,” he
whispered, opening the black velvet box to reveal the ring she had tried on
earlier that afternoon at the jewelry shop. Sara’s heart nearly leapt into her
throat as she gazed at the beautiful platinum band he had slipped onto her
finger for the second time that day, except this time it was for good. She
couldn’t believe this was happening to her. It was the last thing she had ever
expected, especially after the Witchblade had entered her life.
She kept looking between the ring and Van, unable to answer. Her heart told her to say yes while her head told her to say no. She was still waiting for input from the Witchblade, which seemed to not be coming. Maybe it was telling her this was her decision to make and that whatever she did, it would go for it. But still, Sara hesitated on her answer.
Nobody
said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
A/N: Music: "My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer and "The Scientist" by Coldplay