Family Feud
Part 6: Sticky Situations

Deaq entered the Candy Store early that Friday morning feeling absolutely devilish. He was gonna get Billie today, and he knew exactly how he would accomplish it. With his duffle ban in two, he wandered into the showroom to be greeted by his partner. “Hey, man! What’s up?” Van shouted as he watched Deaq walk by. He followed him and curiously asked, “What’s in the bag?”

"Patience, my friend, it will be rewarded." Deaq assured him.

"Oh, boy!" Van replied as he walked back towards Billie’s office to see her sitting in her chair booting up her computer. Being so wrapped up in what she was doing, Van took full advantage of the situation and snuck up behind her. Poised, he leaned next to her ear and yelled, as loud as humanly possible, “BOO!” That scared the shit out of her! Billie jumped up, screamed at the top of her lungs, and turned around to face the noise.

“You ornery little son of a bitch! You almost gave me a heart attack!” she yelled and hit his arm… hard.

Van just laughed when she hit him. "Ow, that hurt!" he chuckled. He walked around her and sat in her chair. "So, how ya doin’ Billie?" he asked with a wide grin.

"Get out of my chair!" she hissed at him.

"What, you didn't find that the least bit funny?" he asked, still smirking.

"VAN!" she shouted.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Get. Out. Now." she hissed. By this time, Deaq was standing, or attempting to stand, in the doorway roaring.

"Van, you better get your ass out of there before she decides to rip your head off!" Deaq gasped.

Van got up out of her chair and took a step, then stopped. He put his arm around her and planted the biggest, sloppiest, wettest, grossest kiss he could on her cheek!

"Gross! Yuck!" Billie screamed and reached for his neck to strangle him.

When Van kissed her, Deaq fell on the floor laughing. His side hurt and he couldn't get up. Van sprinted out of the office before Billie could touch him.

“Is he drunk?’ she asked as she helped Deaq up off the floor while he continued to laugh, the tears streaming down his face.

“I’d bet on it, but I don’t have any money,” Deaq replied, grabbing onto the edge of her desk for support. “He really got you that time, didn’t he?”

“Ick! I’ll be scrubbing my face for years,” Billie pouted as she stammered off towards the bathroom.

“Man, that was BOLD!” Deaq said as he made his way to the lounge where Van was laying across the couch, a big smirk permanently etched on his face. “What the hell has gotten into you? Have you been drinking or taking any kind of drugs because you usually don’t act that crazy around Billie.”

“It was a spur of the moment thing, ya know, just to yank her chain and get a rise out of her,” Van replied, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and turning on the TV.

Billie was in the bathroom scrubbing her face. ‘I can't believe he did that! How gross!’ she thought. Van could be a real jerk off sometimes, but this took the cake. She rinsed off her face and dried. She wasn't ready to go back out yet because if she did, she was gonna head up to the lounge and strangle Van. "Oh, I'm gonna kill him!" she said and kicked the wall. After a minute she was ready to walk out and resume business.

She couldn’t believe that the one time he decided to kiss her it was the disgusting kind. Why couldn’t he just be a gentleman ONCE? ‘Oh, come on! You’re talking about Van Ray here, the biggest overgrown child on earth,’ Billie thought as she walked into her office and started doing something close to resembling work even thought her mind was fixed on revenge.

With Billie finally out of the bathroom and sitting at her desk, Deaq decided it was time to put his plan into action. He grabbed his duffle bag and ran upstairs. Van turned off the TV and followed, curious about what he was doing. He knew Deaq was itching to get revenge for the bean bag. When he pulled the automatic bow out of his bag, Van knew this was going to get messy.

“Where the hell did you get that?” he asked.

“Where else?” Deaq replied with a devious smile.

“Oh, you’re kidding! You got this at the precinct?”

“And this.” Deaq held up a miniature version of a toilet plunger. Van almost burst out laughing. He held it in just so that Billie wouldn’t get the hint until it was too late. He couldn’t wait to see how this played out. Just the visual he was playing with in his head nearly made him explode.

“Ooh! Shit! This has got to be the prank of all pranks!” Van said, a little too excited. He was seriously squirming to see what Deaq was up to, especially where he was aiming. “So, Cupid, what’s your plan of attack?”

“You’ll see,” Deaq answered. “Just be patient, my friend. All in due time.”

Van watched as Deaq took precise aim at his target. Billie was at a perfect angle so that when the toilet plunger arrow flew towards her, it would plaster itself smack dab in the middle of her face. Van’s jaw dropped when he realized what would happen. It was just like a cartoon when Deaq released his arrow, all in slow motion. Billie didn’t even see it coming until it was too late! She tried to move away, but the plunger hit the side of her face with a loud WHACK! They heard a muffled scream, but by now, Van was already on the floor, his sides in so much pain from laughter he thought he would die right there.

Deaq helped Van to his feet then the two of them ran downstairs to see the damage Deaq had done up close. Billie was trying to grab a hold of the stick end of the plunger as she ran around her office screaming and cursing. Van’s knees gave way again as he started laughing. This was just too funny! He couldn’t help himself.

“HELP ME!” Billie was yelling. Van hoisted himself up off the floor and grabbed her as Deaq took hold of the stick and pulled it off her face. She let out an ear piercing scream that nearly deafened Van and he quickly released her.

It was Deaq’s turn to laugh when he saw the big red ring that circled Billie’s entire cheek from the bottom of her jaw line to the top of her left eye. The thing looked like a gigantic hickey, except five times worse. She leapt towards him, her hands reaching for his throat so she could at least get one good strangulation in that morning. Van quickly grabbed her to keep her from doing anyone harm and held her back as Deaq nearly fell over laughing.

“LET ME AT HIM!” Billie was yelling as she struggled against Van’s grasp. He tried to talk her down, but it didn't work. "I'm gonna get you, you little weasel!" she barked.

Deaq continued to laugh. Her rage made it even funnier to him. He partially sat up but couldn't say anything so he just shot her the bird. Van saw this and burst out laughing, losing his grip on her momentarily. Billie managed to get away from him and made a b-line for Deaq’s neck. Van grabbed her by the ankle, sending her crashing to the floor before she hit her mark. The left side of her face hit the ground, making that hideous blemish even worse.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Billie screamed as she rolled over on her back. Her face hurt like hell. She wanted to stand up and kill the little bastard that did this to her, but she had a better idea. Billie sat up and looked over at her two pranksters and smiled sweetly, making them both go silent in an instant. Oh, she so knew what to do to them next. She had them right where she wanted them, scared shitless.

When Van and Deaq saw that sweet smile come across Billie’s lips, they knew their lives were over. They stopped laughed as they pondered what she’d do to them now. This had been one of the biggest things that had managed to pull on her, and now it was her turn to strike back.

Van shuddered when he thought of all the things she could do to him, as did Deaq. They inched their way out of her office, deciding that it would be best to stay far away from her for the time being until she cooled off. Besides, there was a case to be solved, and they needed to get to work. The pranks would just have to continue later.

Billie, on the other hand, was already plotting her revenge. The next morning, both Van and Deaq would get what was coming for them, each one a separate form of cruel and unusual punishment, all of which she planned to catch on tape and sell to the highest bidder at the precinct. The wide smile grew on her face as she booted up her computer and began to do some of her work even thought parts of her mind were still on the major prank she was getting ready to pull.

*~*~*

The next morning went by pretty calmly at the Candy Store. Billie had managed to come in on time, indicating to the guys that she probably didn’t have anything planned yet, but they knew something was amiss when she took an extra long lunch break and reappeared with a smirk on her face that could rival the one Van sported the previous day. He knew something was up the moment she stepped into her office humming some song he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Hey, boss,” Van said as he cautiously made his way towards her.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” Billie asked, not looking up from her computer as he approached her.

“No,” he innocently replied, his hands sliding into the back pockets of his tight jeans. Billie couldn’t help but glance in his direction. She loved the way Van looked in those jeans. The image almost made her salivate if it wasn’t for her unbelievable self control, which was floundering at the moment.

Van walked up to Billie and knelt down beside her. "You look pretty damn good today," he said, reaching up to touch her face. He was hoping that he might be able to get out of his punishment by playing on her need for physical contact. So far it was working.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she replied. This was definitely more than Billie had been expecting. Her control was waning as she ran her fingers through his thick mane of chestnut hair.

Van loved how she messed with his hair. He reached up and grabbed her hand. To hell with all his inhibitions, this was just too good to stop. She playfully tried to tug away and laughed as she looked at him and gave him an approving glance over.

Van put his hand on her knee, just below the hem of her black skirt. He had been lying to himself when he said Billie was the hottest chick he’d never sleep with. Given the chance, he probably would have done her several times by now. Or they’d be dating. Either way, the thought was a pleasant one. "So, I guess I'll see you later?" Van asked as he stood up. He hadn’t accomplished his task, but hell, just having Billie this close was enough to keep him at bay.

"Yeah, see ya later!" Billie answered and watched Van walk out the door. She cursed herself for the prank she was about to pull on him. She only wished she could stop what she had set into motion, but that was impossible now. Within minutes, Billie was expecting to hear his loud curses even with the door to the Candy Store shut. She only prayed that his wrath would be lessened by the little flirting they had just done.

Van stepped out into the sun feeling like a million bucks. He couldn’t believe that he had just initiated a flirting session with Billie. But, GOD! It was worth it. Even if she decided to prank him at this very second, he wouldn’t care. Those few minutes that their bodies had come into contact were more than enough to fill his dreams for the next few nights.

Taking out his keys, Van unlocked his car and sat down inside, letting the events sink in as he sighed deeply. Finally, he put the key in the ignition and grabbed hold of the steering wheel. Boy, did he get a surprised when he tried to take his hands off and reverse out of the parking lot. They were stuck to the steering wheel! Van made several attempts to pry himself off of it, but no matter how hard he pulled, he was stuck!

“BILLIE! YOU LITTLE BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!” Van started shouting as he started to panic. He wanted to get the hell out of this car and strangle her. Forget about all that flirting, this went beyond it. He was pissed as hell that she had the audacity to break into his car and put Krazy glue all over the steering wheel.

Billie was right. She had heard his screaming from inside her office. Standing up, she made her way to the door and peeked out into the parking lot where Van banged his head against the steering wheel hoping that someone would come to his rescue.

Billie walked out to the parking lot and headed over to the car. "How's it going Van? I thought you left," she said with a big smile across her face.

"You bitch! I'm gonna kill you!" Van yelled.

Billie leaned against the car and laughed. "Okay, go ahead, strangle me!" she taunted. Billie pushed herself off and started to walk back towards the door. “I’ll see you when you get yourself out of this miss,” she added with a final glance back at him. She smiled and walked through the door, slamming it shut behind her.

Van was ready to scream. Billie had just left him there to sit and wait for someone to find him. When he got out of this situation, the first thing he was gonna do was beat her ass to a pulp. He didn’t care that she was a girl, she was gonna get it. There was no stopping him even if it meant a life sentence. Van let his head fall onto the steering wheel again, except this time it didn’t come up. He knew he was going to be stuck there for a while. He only prayed that Deaq would come back from lunch soon.

As if God had heard him, another car rolled into the parking lot. Van’s head shot up to see his partner getting out and making his way towards him.

“Van what are you doing out here?” Deaq asked, a questionable expression on his face.

Van really didn’t need to do much to give him the answer. He just gave a half hearted struggle with the steering wheel and let Deaq do the math. When he finally figured it out, Deaq started laughing. “Oh, so Billie got you, didn’t she?” he asked.

“No shit,” Van retorted. “I could use a little help here. Go find out if Billie keeps any nail polish remover in the bathroom. I have a pretty good idea that she used Krazy glue to do this.”

Deaq ran inside and found the bottle of remover only to see it didn’t have the chemical agent to loosen the glue from Van’s fingers. He’d have to head to the store to find the stuff. It was an hour before Van’s hands were freed from the steering wheel, and he was thoroughly pissed and hungry after the ordeal. Adding insult to injury, the nail polish remover smelled like strawberries, which now permeated Van’s clothing.

He walked into the Candy Store growling. Billie knew to keep her distance and didn’t dare leave her office. Just seeing the look on Van’s face was enough to satisfy her. She smiled and sat back in her chair, closing her eyes. This had definitely been a good day. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Billie opened her eyes to see the hellish look on Van’s face.

“I am going to kill you,” he said, his tone challenging.

“Well, come and get me!” Billie mocked as she held up her fists. That’s when all hell broke loose. Van lunged for her and quickly wrestled her to the ground. Billie repeatedly punched at him, trying to get him to release his hold on her, but realized that this was going to be tough. It didn’t matter that she was a black belt in karate; Van was on top of her, hold her down. When she felt him loosen slightly to get a better hold, she took advantage of the situation and knocked him down beside her. She was now on top of him, using her hand to keep his from getting anywhere near her.

Billie laughed at him. “You think you can beat me?” she asked, looking down in those deep blue eyes as she hovered inches from his face. Van’s expression went slack. He knew he was beat and just gave up. “Good,” Billie added, but there was just something about their position that reminded her of that game of Twister. Van was holding his breath and she knew it.

Now was the time they finally gave into their feelings. Billie closed the gap between their lips with a soft, feather light kiss. She closed her eyes, savoring the way Van tasted as she loosened her grip and allowed his hands to roam her body. Their kiss deepened as their tongues started to mingle. Billie let a moan escape from her lips when he felt his hands fall on her arms, gently pulling down the straps of her shirt. Billie began to unbutton his shirt as he gently whispered her name several times.

“Billie,” Van said in a tone that almost made her go numb with passion. “Billie,” he repeated, a little more loudly this time. “Billie!” he shouted, startling her.

Billie finally realized that she was sitting in her chair. She had dozed off momentarily, but was now wide awake to hear Van yelling in her ear. He was trying to get her attention, but when Billie started to get up, she realized she was stuck in her chair, unable to move. Looking down, she discovered the electrical tape wrapped around her body.

Van burst out laughing when Billie finally woke up. He couldn’t believe she managed to sleep right through his taping. He was sure he’d get caught somewhere halfway through it, but she had slept like a baby!

“VAN!” Billie snapped as she tried to get out of the binds. Her hands were taped to the arm rests of her chair, her feet to the legs, and the rest of the body to its back. She couldn’t believe she had fallen asleep, let alone had that dream. That flirting was going to her head. She seriously needed to stop it before it got out of hand. How could she see herself with such a childish little frat boy?

Van continued to laugh even as Deaq came up along side him to see what was so funny. Taking one look at Billie and he was instantly crumpled on the floor in a fit of laughter. “That’s too good!” he was crying.

“And I didn’t even need to slip anything in her drink! She just slept right through it all!” Van replied, finally calming down enough to make a sensible conversation. He looked down at his watch and added, “Well, I’d better be going. Time to go home and get some rest. Bye-bye, Billie! Have a nice night!”

Billie squirmed in her chair, still trying to get out of the tape that was stuck all over her body. She glared at Van, bearing her teeth as he walked past her and placed a sloppy, super gross kiss on her cheek. Deaq nearly rolled over and died of laughter. It looked as if Billie could kill him with the look in her eyes. If she hadn’t been confined in that chair, he and Van would probably both be dead by now.

Deaq finally stood up and followed Van’s suit. “Good night, Billie,” he taunted. “Hope you sleep well.”

“You’re just gonna leave me here, alone, taped to this chair?” Billie yelled after him as she struggled to get out of the chair again, but the tape was on, tight.

“Yup!” Deaq called as he opened the door and stepped outside. He could hear Billie yelling all the way from the parking lot.

“You little FUCKER! Get you ass back here! Get me out of this chair! I swear I’ll fire your ass if you don’t!” Billie was now screaming. Deaq didn’t take any of her threats to heart. They were just empty promises that she’d never go through with. He merely laughed as he got in his car and drove home.

*~*~*

Dawn had risen the next morning as Billie awoke tied to the chair still. She hadn’t managed to free herself at all. Whenever she tried, the tape would rip her skin and cause her an unbelievable amount of pain. Oh, Van had pulled out all the stops this time. But she was gonna get him, good! There was no doubt in her mind. She just needed to figure out how.

Billie could hear her stomach growl. She felt as if she had been kidnapped or something with no dinner, and praying that she’d get out of this chair soon. Her muscles were sore and all she wanted was a huge breakfast along with a big piping hot cup of strong coffee. She barely slept a wink that night, and whatever little sleep she did get had been restless. Van continued to haunt her dreams. She needed to put a stop to this once and for all. She needed to tell him how she felt, but that would only complicate things even more. Billie sighed and rolled her head, hearing several cracks in her neck where she had been stuff. At least it felt good.

The door opened quietly and Billie’s head quickly shot up to see who it was. “You little DICK!” she shouted, seeing Van.

“Hey, no name calling!” he scolded her as he came up beside the chair and set down the bag of food he had brought. Billie could smell the delicious aroma of coffee and sweets, her eyes rolling to the back of her head in absolute euphoria. Van quickly noticed and pulled a Swiss army knife out of his pocket to cut her bonds.

When Billie was free from the tape, she stood up, but her legs were barely able to support her weight, being as numb as they were. She fell forward into Van’s open arms and looked up at him a little embarrassed.

“You okay?” he asked, a little concerned. He had definitely gone a little far by leaving her alone that night without setting her free, but it was payback for the Krazy glue, at least he tried to justify it that way. Van brushed the few strands of dark hair that had fallen into her face away with his hand.

“Yeah, just a little sore,” Billie replied, quickly righting herself and standing on her wobbly legs as Van continued to hold her in his arms. “How could you leave me like that!” she yelled, punching him in the arm several times over. “You know, you can be such a dick sometimes! Do you not have any decency? Someone could have come in here and killed me!”

“Whoa, slow down there, honey. As you can see, you’re safe, nothing has happened to you. You’re just a little sore. Calm down. Besides, if something had happened to you, I’d…” Van trailed off, not wanting to make the admission that he couldn’t live with himself if he had let anything bad happen to Billie. She merely looked at him with those big blue eyes trying to figure out what he was about to tell her.

“If something happened to me, you’d what?” Billie asked, wanting to force a confession out of Van.

“If something happened to you, I would have been in deep shit,” he answered skillfully. He might have been dumb in some areas, but he did have a few smart moments, this being one of them.

Billie pried herself out of Van’s grasp and sat down in the chair again. Her legs couldn’t hold out any longer. She made a mental note to stretch as soon as he was gone. “So, what’s in the bag?” she asked innocently, praying he had brought some food for her.

“A peace offering,” Van said, grabbing the bag and pulling out two chocolate scones and two large coffees, black with just a tiny bit of sugar. He gave one of each to Billie and sat down across from her on the edge of the desk as they ate in silence.

“You’ve been spared my wrath for one day, Ray, but don’t count on the next,” she replied.

Van smiled at her, but on the inside he sighed in relief. He had done the right thing by bringing her food. And here he thought girls didn’t eat. Now he knew how to put Billie in a good mood and would do it as often as possible to get in her good graces.

“So, what are you planning to do to Deaq?” Van asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Billie devilishly smiled at him. “I’m afraid that if I told you, you’d tell him, then I’d have to kill both of you,” she said. “And I really wouldn’t like to be the one breaking your pretty little nose.”

Van almost burst out laughing. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Billie had actually threatened to break his nose! Oh, that was too funny. He was tempted to say, “Oh, yeah, sure, and how do you plan on doing that?” but decided against it seeing that her mood could easily shift and he’d be in the doghouse again. He held in his laughter as the smirk on his face grew.

“What are you smiling about?” Billie questioned, getting the feeling that her comment had struck his funny bone.

“Nothing,” Van replied, quickly wiping it off his face as he hid behind his coffee cup.

“Good,” she said, “because I really wouldn’t like to screw up that cute face of yours so early in the morning.”

‘Did she just say cute?’ Van asked himself, a little dumbstruck by her comment. He was really getting mixed signals now. He stared at her for a while before she realized what she said.

Billie’s cheeks turned a rosy red color. She couldn’t believe she had just let that slip. Turning away from Van and standing up, she started to make her way towards the bathroom feeling like a total idiot.

“Billie, wait!” Van yelled as he stood up and ran towards her. He had finally reached the breaking point with his feelings for her. He had to tell her everything, NOW, or else there would never been another time.

Billie turned around to face him. Van was right in front of her now, his eyes locked on hers. He was trying to find the right words, but it seemed impossible. Her eyes were just so intense and all consuming that he didn’t realize he had slowly been coming closer to her, their lips in range for that kiss they had both been waiting for. Now a breath apart, they both closed their eyes, knowing exactly what was going to happen. They were so close to each other that Van could feel her staggered breathing on his lips, and just as he was about to go in for the kill, the door slammed shut behind him.

Both Van and Billie jumped back from each other, their hearts racing as Deaq walked into the showroom yelling, “Morning, folks!”

Van growled and started to make his way back to Billie’s office as she stammered into the bathroom feeling like an even bigger idiot now that she had almost let her feelings run rampant. But she had wanted so badly to kiss him that anger now pulsed through her veins. She was definitely going to kill Deaq for barging in on them that morning after everything had gone so perfectly.

“Hey, Van, why are you so pissed? Billie almost try to strangle you again for that stunt you pulled last night?” Deaq asked as he walked into the office to see Van seething. He had never seen his partner so pissed.

“Not exactly,” Van mumbled as he finished his breakfast.

“Well, whatever she did to you is probably gonna be nothing compared to me,” Deaq replied. He knew Billie was out for blood today. All he could do was sit and wait for her to strike. He’d try to take it like a man, but with Billie, he never knew what to expect.

“Good luck,” Van replied, his voice ominous. Deaq knew that today wasn’t going to be his day. He’d be stuck waiting it out until Billie finally made her move. He remembered the mental beating she gave him the last time, and only prayed that she wouldn’t do it again.

Surprisingly, the day went by relatively quite for all of them, except for maybe those thoughts that continued to float around in both Van and Billie’s heads. He wanted her and she wanted him, there was no denying that, but there was no way they’d ever be able to tell each other, not with what happened that morning.

Billie walked in to the Candy Store the next day as she always did. It was too early and someone was gonna get it. She approached the door and it swung open.

"Hi!" came Van's overly cheery voice.

"What did you do?" she asked as she stopped walking. Billie knew this routine well. She fully expected to get hit in the face with something.

"Nothing… I'm just being friendly," Van answered with that smile on his face.

She knew better than that. "What do you want then Van?" she retorted as she started to walk again.

"I want nothing but to be nice," Van said as he watched her walk in those tight black pants. Billie strode up to him and brushed her hand against his cheek.

"You're lying." she replied in a seductive voice.

"I am not." Van protested as she positioned herself in front of him so he could pinch her ass.

"Hey!" she squealed as she turned around and slapped his hand.

Van pulled his hand away and pretended he was in pain. "Ow. That hurt!" he whined.

"You deserve it!" she said laughing. “Now get away from me, you little perv, before I get you good.” Billie walked off leaving Van with a wide smirk on his face. So what if they hadn’t been able to get out their true feelings, this flirting was fun! He made a mental note to continue it every morning on out, unless he had a prank planned, or Deaq was watching. He knew he was screwed if his partner found out he actually had a crush on his boss. 

Billie walked into her office and immediately pulled out a roll of duct tape from her desk. Deaq was gonna get it today, and she knew exactly how. Oh, this was going to be a lot of fun! She couldn’t wait to see what kind of damage she could cause. In the corner of her office she had placed an aluminum bat the day before for this specific purpose. She knew it wouldn’t inflict as much pain as a wooden bat, but she was only going for a knockout and not a concussion. Hiding herself behind the door after she had sent Van to run a little errand, she waited for Deaq to walk in that morning.

‘HA! He’s never gonna see it coming!’ Billie thought when she heard his car roll into the parking lot. The door opened and she swung, HARD. After hearing a satisfying CRACK, she stepped out of the shadows and surveyed the damage. Deaq was unconscious on the floor, a big lump forming on his forehead where she had hit him. Billie started to laugh, but quickly cut herself short realizing that this plan of hers was going to take a little time to put into action. After all, she still had to tape him to a light pole, and that might take a little time. She wanted to finish before Van came back, which wouldn’t be for another hour or so, but still.

Billie dragged Deaq outside and to the light pole then ran back in to get the tape sitting on her desk. "Now, how am I gonna get him up?" she said to herself. This was definitely going to take some time, but she could do it. She started by hoisting him up against the pool and taping his waist to hold him there. Once that was done, she could do the rest.

Thirty minutes later, she stepped back to survey her work. Deaq was wrapped up with even his arms taped to the poll and his hands from the wrists down free. The tape went from his shoulders to his ankles and everywhere in between. Oh, he was not going to get out of this easily! She wrapped him up pretty good, with all intentions of keeping him stuck there until she deemed it was time to let him go, like he had done to her two days earlier when Van had taped her to her chair.

Billie finally started to laugh. This was going to be FUNNY! She ran inside to grab her camera. She wanted to remember this prank like the gorilla suit. After snapping a few shots, Billie headed back inside to her office where she downloaded them onto her computer and immediately started printing out a set to hang on the wall that was now covered with these funny photos in her apartment. Van was going to get a kick out of Deaq’s predicament. She knew he would. After all, he wrote the book on taping, and she had been the one to edit it.

Van pulled up not long after Billie had gone back inside. He walked by the poll and then turned around and walked by it again. He stopped and stared. "Deaq wake up!" he yelled but it didn't work. He stared again and started to laugh. He walked away and headed inside to see if he could get Billie to admit what she had done now. Van stood in her doorway and couldn't ignore her glee at the pictures she was printing.

"So, you did it huh?" he said smiling.

"Is there anyone else that could have done that?" she said laughing over her pictures. Van looked over her shoulder at the photos and started to laugh again. After all, this was funny.

Deaq woke up with a massive headache and a very bright glare in his eyes. He wanted to shield them from the bright light that was beating down on him, but realized that he couldn’t move his arms. His eyes shot open and he discovered that he was bound to a light post outside with a shit load of duct tape. One thought ran through his mind. “BILLIE!” Deaq yelled, realizing that this had been her prank against him.

Inside, Van and Billie could hear Deaq’s cry and started to snicker. This was great! They left her office and made their way outside to where he was taped to the light pole. Van nearly died laughing when he saw his partner struggled to get out of his predicament. It seemed that everyone this week had been struggling to get out of a bind.

Billie folded her arms across her chest as she stared at Deaq, the grin on her face wider that anyone had ever seen it.

“Alright, Billie, you win! Set me free!” Deaq’s plea fell on deaf ears.

“Uh-uh,” she replied. “This is for last night AND the toilet plunger. And Van, if I catch you sneaking out here to help him, you’ll be the next one taped to this light pole,” she warned as she turned around and began to laugh again.

Deaq looked over in Van’s direction. Van shrugged his shoulders and mouthed, “Sorry, man! I’ll do what I can.”

Deaq was beyond pissed. How could he have gotten sucked into this mess in the first place? Oh, right, it was Van’s fault, as usual. He’d get the little bastard back if he didn’t help him out of this little bind. ‘Oh, well, I guess I have plenty of time to sit here and think about what I’ll do to Billie next,’ he thought, relaxing against the light pole.

Van followed Billie inside. "What are we gonna do? Are we gonna let him go?" he asked looking at her.

Billie sat in her chair and laughed, "We'll let him go… eventually." She looked over the pictures again and continued to laugh.

"You do know that tape is going to hurt coming off, right?" Van replied, sitting across from her.

She picked up the roll of tape and threw it at him. "I am well aware of how it feels to have tape peeled off. Besides, duct tape isn't as sticky as electrical tape,” she almost hissed, making Van sit as far back against his seat as humanly possible. He knew Billie was still pissed about having to peel electrical tape off her body. She was still bearing the painful marks where it had made contact with her skin and she had to rip it off. He cringed at the thought of trying to peel any kind of tape off his body.

“I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t mean to leave you here all night,” Van started to apologize.

“Shut up,” Billie replied. “I’ve had enough of you for one day. Go away and busy yourself with something.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked.

“I dunno, work on a car or something. Do whatever men do to busy themselves during the day,” she answered harshly, making it clear she wanted him out of her office immediately.

“Alright,” Van sighed as he stood up and headed for the door. “I’m heading out to lunch. Want anything?”

“No,” Billie flatly replied, not looking up from the papers on her desk.

Van shrugged, thanking all the gods he knew that she had said no. He really wasn’t going to lunch; instead, he planned to help Deaq out with his little problem. Van didn’t care about the consequences. He was itching to get Billie again. Going two days without a prank was making him antsy, and Deaq probably needed a partner with his next endeavor.

Deaq was getting tired of being out stuck to the poll. "Come on somebody get me off here," he began to whine. He busied himself with thinking about what he'd do to Billie when he got the chance. Oh, she was going to pay for this. Just then the door opened.

"Come save me," Deaq whispered. And as if by magic Van appeared in the doorway and walked towards him.

"Come on, lets get you un-taped," Van told him.

Deaq was thankful that his partner had showed up. Van bent down and pulled at the tape on his legs. When he got to his skin he paused and then yanked as hard as he could.

"OW! Stupid son of a bitch! That hurt!" Deaq yelled.

Van looked at him and laughed, "Sorry man, I couldn't help it!"

“You won’t be saying that when I kick you,” Deaq warned, glaring at him angrily.

Van pulled his trusty pocket knife out to make the job a little easier. After about ten minutes, Deaq was free even though tape was stuck to his clothing and skin. It took a while to take it all off, but he was just glad to be free.

“Billie is gonna kill me when she finds out I set you free,” Van mumbled as they made their way towards his car.

“Yeah, well, not before I kill her,” Deaq replied.

“What do you mean?” Van questioned, getting a little curious.

“Do you know where to get liquid cement?” Deaq asked.

Van shot a look in his direction. ‘Let the games begin!’ he enthusiastically thought as he nearly jumped into his car. In all likelihood, he knew exactly what Deaq was going to do, and he was more than willing to help him.

*~*~*

Billie walked into the Candy Store the next day to be greeted by admiring whistles from Van. She loved the flirting; it was fun even if nothing ever came of it. She slapped him upside the head and kept going. Upon entering her office, she noticed something was weird. She looked up and there it was. Everything was glued to the ceiling. "DEAQ!!! VAN!!! Get in here now!!" she hollered. How on god’s green earth had they accomplished this feat baffled her.

Deaq and Van looked at each other and started chuckling. Billie yelled again, so they started walking towards her office. They got to the door and Deaq tried his best not to laugh as he said, "What's the matter?" Van just lost it.

"How do I get this shit down?" she hissed.

"I...don't....know!" Deaq said as he burst under her glare.

“You two are gonna PAY!” Billie yelled as they crumpled on the floor of her now empty office. The long night had paid off quite well.

Part 7: Don't Drink The Coffee!

Home