Chapter
24: Please Forgive Me
Dan stood in front of JFK International, his one and only bag slung over
his shoulder containing two days worth of clothing and necessities. This was
going to be a short trip, but one that he would probably regret taking. Seeing
Chance in a coma at death’s doorstep wasn’t the way he wanted to remember her
last. He was used to seeing her full of joy and happiness, not lifeless and
hanging on by a thread to whatever life was left in her. His eyes clouded over
as he tried not to think about it.
As he looked across the sea of people walking around him, Dan noticed
a woman who looked strangely familiar to him. She was slightly shorter than
he was and had long blond hair that was wrapped in a ponytail behind her head.
He walked towards her, wondering if it could possibly be the same girl he had
met years ago the first time he met Darren.
The closer Dan got to her, the more she stood out from the rest of the
crowd as someone he knew. She was wearing a long dark gray suit and overcoat
that matched, contrary to the tank tops and shorts he was used to seeing her
in. She turned towards him before he was able to make his final steps in his
direction.
“Daniel!” she cried, her think Australian accent giving away her identity.
“This is such a coincidence!”
“Hey, Colby,” Dan replied, wrapping his arms around her and giving her
a hug. If Darren ever found out that they were still friends, he’d kill Dan
for betraying him. “How’s life been treating you?”
“Absolutely wonderful!” her eccentric voice bubbled. “So, what are you
doing in the Big Apple?”
“I’m going to see Darren and a friend in the hospital,” he told her as
they walked down the sidewalk together.
“Is Darren okay?” Colby suddenly became serious. It was still apparent
she had feelings for him.
“He’s just fine, but I can’t say the same for Chance,” Dan mournfully
replied. He looked down at his feet as he held back painful tears.
“Chance?” she inquired, the puzzled look on her face reminding him that
she didn’t know what had happened in the last few years she and Darren had been
separated.
“She’s the friend in the hospital. She had an accident, and the doctors
aren’t expecting her to pull through. I had to come down and see her.” Dan felt
as if his heart would burst repeating those words.
Colby looked at him softly and wrapped her arm around his shoulders to
comfort him. She sympathetically replied, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Were
you two close?”
“To the point where I called her my sister.”
“Oh, poor Dan. I’m really sorry about your friend,” Colby replied. “Well,
I must be on my way. I still have to look for a cab to take me to my hotel.”
“Why don’t you just come with me? My limo is waiting a little further
down. I’m sure the driver can take you to the hotel then come back later to
pick me up from the hospital,” Dan suggested.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, and if you don’t want to go to the hotel just yet, you can come
with me and see Darren. I don’t think he should end up being as hostile as last
time.”
“Maybe seeing Darren would be nice. Besides, he just might listen to
me today and hear what I’ve been wanting to tell him ever since we broke it
off.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Dan and Colby walked down the quiet hallways of the hospital searching
for the private waiting room a doctor had told them Darren would be in. They
were both lost in thought; Dan wondered if Darren had any more information on
Chance. Colby wondered if Darren still hated her for the affair she had while
he was on tour. In both cases, the hospital was the worst place to be exploring
the unknown, its faint antiseptic aroma giving the feeling death was present
everywhere.
Reaching the end of a dark hallway just before a set of double doors,
Dan found the door marked 142: Private, and opened it slowly so not to startle
Darren. As he walked into the dimly lit room, he noticed his best friend curled
up on the couch, peacefully sleeping and loudly snoring. Colby soon walked in
and also noticed Darren. She began to laugh, unable to control her feelings
as they burst from her heart. He looked so adorable and so vulnerable as he
slept. She did miss him, but nothing would change the fact that they were no
longer a couple.
Darren began to stir from the couch. Colby’s laughing had caused him
to wake up. As he rolled over and sat up, he blinked, letting his eyes adjust
to the light in the room. After a few moments of blankly staring into oblivion,
his eyes focused on Dan standing at the door looking at him with a stone cold
expression on his face. Darren knew something was very wrong. He could feel
the other presence in the room. He looked past Dan to see the young woman standing
behind him.
Darren instantly recognized Colby’s thin frame, and the anger, rage, and surprise built up in his mind. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he nearly yelled.
Colby shut her mouth and stared at Darren coldly. “Still hostile, isn’t he?” she asked Dan as she looked in his direction. She turned towards Darren and began to stare at him as he frigidly stared back at her.
Dan shrugged his shoulders and looked at the two staring each other down to see who would break eye contact first. “Look, we’re all adults here. Stop acting like children. There’s a bigger problem facing us than you two bickering all the time,” Dan tried to make peace between them.
Darren looked over to him with a sudden realization. “You two are involved, aren’t you? Oh, my God. I should have seen it sooner. Dan, you fucking bastard, how could you?” Darren raged. He stood up and began to walk towards him.
Dan put his hands up as a barrier and said, “Nothing is going on between us. Colby is just here on business. We met at the airport and she needed a ride to her hotel.”
“Then what is she doing here?” Darren asked.
“I’m here because I wanted to tell you I’ve moved on,” Colby interrupted. “I’m getting married in a few months to a lawyer in Sydney.”
“Well, isn’t that wonderful?” Darren sarcastically retorted. “Could you please leave now because my day has gotten worse by seeing you.”
“Don’t think I can’t see past that tough guy façade you’ve become so accustomed to. I can see deep down to places where others can’t, and I know you’re not as strong as you perceive yourself to be. You’re scared, and the only way you can get around that feeling is by building up a wall so that no one can get to you. For once can’t you be a little less naïve and take a look around? I’m here to try and make amends to what went wrong with us and all you can do is be an ass about it,” she firmly declared. Colby put her hands on her hips and waited for another smart reply from Darren, but it never came. He lowered his head into his hands and began to cry. There was so much truth behind what she had said that he crumbled under the stress of the previous day’s events and her words.
Seeing Darren in so much pain almost made Colby wish she hadn’t said all those nasty words. She sat down beside him and quietly told him, “I’m sorry, Daz. I didn’t mean to say that. It just came out. If it means anything to you, you’re still going to be in my heart. You were my first love, how can I just forget you?” Her hand crept up his back and gently stroked it. A few tears had escaped her own eyes as she looked at him in his pitiful state. Darren pulled her into a tight embrace; a part of him still did love her.
“Thank you,” Darren said as he wiped the tears off his face.
“You’re welcome. Now get out of here and take a shower, you smell like shit,” Colby replied, standing up and moving to the opposite side of the room. Darren and Dan laughed. “I’m serious. Where have you been, in a dumpster?”
“I jumped into a river to save someone’s life,” Darren answered.
“I told her the whole story. You don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to,” Dan cut in.
“Thanks,” Darren retorted. He stood up and began to walk towards the door. “I’m going to take Colby’s advice and go home. Could you please stay here? If you find anything out, give me a call, especially if they let you see her. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With that, Darren was off to his apartment in the city.
Dan turned to Colby and said, “That went well.” He sat down on one of the maroon couches knowing it would be a long wait.
Colby sat down beside him and replied, “Surprisingly it did. I wasn’t expecting Darren to be so placid. I guess I caught him in a ‘good’ mood, if you could call it that.”
“Are you going to stay, or are you going to the hotel now that everything’s been said and done?”
“I think I’m gonna stick around and hang with you for the rest of the day. I know you’re not going to want to go into Chance’s room alone. Besides, I’d like to see what Darren sees in her that he didn’t see in me,” she said as she sat down beside Dan on the comfortable couch.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hours passed as Dan and Colby sat beside each other in silence without
anything important happening. Dan was beginning to wonder what happened to Darren.
It had been way too long since he had left, and he knew that whenever something
concerned Chance, Darren would either be there half an hour early, or come back
within a few minutes. This was the first time he hadn’t returned when he said
he would. He wanted to turn to Colby and ask her what she thought might be holding
him up, but an old doctor in a white lab coat walked into the room holding a
cup of coffee and a manila folder. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of
Dan and Colby.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m Colby, and this is Dan. We’re Darren’s friends,” Colby spoke up
quietly. She stood and walked over to the old doctor.
“Pleased to meet you. Darren’s told me a lot about you guys. By the way,
my name is Ian McAllister. I’ve been taking care of Chance for the last few
days,” he said.
“Oh, really. That’s nice to know,” she replied.
“Where’s Darren, anyway? Last time I saw him, he was knocked out from
the sleeping pills that I slipped into his coffee to calm him down. I was just
about to give him another dose to keep him from getting out of control, but
I guess he alluded me.”
“He left for his apartment after I told him he need to change. He should
be back any minute. What has he been doing that made you slip sleeping pills
into his coffee?” Colby asked.
“Darren’s had a few episodes involving talking to voices inside his head.
I’m beginning to think he’s having a hard time dealing with this and he needs
to see a shrink if I have to keep slipping him the pills,” Ian replied as he
set down the coffee on the table. “Keep in mind, don’t touch that coffee. You’ll
be knocked out in a matter of minutes if you do. And don’t tell Darren. I’m
only doing this for his own good because I’m beginning to see early signs of
depression, so be cautious when he starts acting funny.”
“How is Chance?” Dan changed the subject. Colby noticed his anxiety to
see Chance as he began to crack his knuckles, his trademark characteristic.
“She’s still in a coma, unfortunately. The swelling in her brain hasn’t
gone down. The good thing is that it hasn’t gone up either. Now that she’s stable,
you can go in and see her, just be very quiet,” Ian said as he shuffled out
of the room. “Follow me and I’ll take you to her room.”
Dan and Colby left the confines of the waiting room and followed Ian
down the dim hallway to a set of double doors marked ICU. As they walked through
the threshold, they entered a completely different world. The hallway was brightly
lit, and the doors to either side of them were closed. Each door had a window
beside it, and as they reached the end of the hallway, a reception desk appeared.
“Good afternoon, Rita,” Ian greeted an old nurse behind the desk. He
swerved to the left towards the last room in the ward. Slowly opening the door,
Ian held it for Dan and Colby to walk through.
Dan went first, anxious and scared to see what lay behind the door. With
Colby encouragingly pushing him through, he stepped inside. He looked out onto
the bed to see Chance laying there, her head bandaged in white gauze and tubes
running through almost every visible part of her body. Machines helped her heart
and lungs function while IV bags fed her. Dan was ready to break down and cry
seeing her the way she was. He slowly crept up to her bed and started at her
pale white face.
“Oh, God,” came Dan’s muffled reply as he covered his mouth with his
hand. His eyes close, tears running freely down his face. As he began to sob,
he could feel Colby wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him.
“No,” Dan cried, turning to Colby and holding onto her for comfort.
“Shh…” she quietly reassured. Colby had never seen Dan break down, not
even when he broke up with his long time girlfriend, Michelle. Just watching
him become so helpless after seeing Chance near death made Colby realize that
Chance and Dan shared a bond that she could never even begin to understand.
All she could do for him was comfort him in his time of need.
“I have to get out of here,” Dan whispered into her ear. Colby silently
led him through the door and back towards the waiting room. Once inside, they
sat down on the couch, and Colby held onto Dan in hopes of calming him down.
“She’s my best friend. How could this have happened? How could I have
let myself leave when I knew she needed me?” Dan asked out loud.
“Danny, it’s okay. It’s not you fault. There was nothing you could do
to stop this from happening. Stop blaming yourself,” Colby tried to reason.
“But I could have stopped her. I knew she was depressed, especially after
seeing her the night Scott died. I clearly remember how shaken she was, and
then after telling her that Darren loved her, she snapped. I should have done
something sooner,” he replied, holding his head in his hands as he shook his
head in disbelief. “She’d still be here if I wasn’t so ignorant.”
“Daniel Jones, you’d better stop blaming yourself for things you have
no control over.” Colby’s voice was stern and somehow comforted him. “I don’t
want you saying anymore crap like that because I’ll slap you if I hear another
‘I could have done this.’”
Dan looked at her and managed to smile weakly. “Now, that’s what I wanted
to see. You’d better be in a good mood when Darren’s walks in, or he just might
get freaked out.”
“Freaked out over what?” came a voice from the door. Dan and Colby looked
up in unison to see Darren standing just outside the door, his dirty, smelly
old clothes replaced with a pair of black pants, a dark blue sweater, and a
black jacket. His hair was spiked up just the way that Colby though made him
look irresistible, and he wore a pair of dark sunglasses even though the lights
in the hospital were dim.
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” Colby lied.
“I can see you’re not telling me the truth. I know that look,” Darren
replied, his face turning stony as his cold blue eyes stared down at her. “If
we’re going to try and be friends again, lying is not the best way to start.”
“Then you’d better just come with me. I can’t explain it. You have to
see it for yourself,” she said, taking his hand and beginning to lead him out
of the room.
“Yeah, it’s the matrix!” Dan yelled from the waiting room trying to keep
up their spirits. Colby and Darren laughed at his comment as they walked down
the hall. Colby knew he was only trying to keep himself from breaking down again.
Hopefully his wise cracks would. She led Darren down the hall towards ICU. Stepping
through the double doors again, she recalled the last time this happened even
though it was only moments before. She prayed that Darren wouldn’t become as
hysterical as Dan had.
When Colby and Darren reached the final door in the ward, she slowly
opened it. Darren’s eyes were filled with wonder and fear, knowing that she
was leading him into Chance’s room. He was afraid of what he would see; he didn’t
even know what to expect. Judging by the bit of the conversation he over heard
when Colby and Dan were talking, he knew to expect the worst, but somehow, he’d
never prepare himself enough for what lay behind the hard wood door.
Colby walked in first not wanting Darren to be alone when the shock suddenly
hit him like it had Dan. As he slowly entered, Darren suddenly found himself
unable to breathe. His first look at Chance after the accident revealed the
pain his heart felt multiplied 100 times. It was harder to see her lying in
the hospital bed than it was to see her jump off the bridge. At least then he
knew she was still alive. In the bed, she seemed so dead, her body so fragile
even the weakest glass became harder to break.
Darren didn’t say a word. He just stood there at the foot of the bed
looking down at Chance’s pale white face. Colby wanted to go over to him and
hug him, but she knew this was his time to reflect, only when the tears started
flowing would she get anywhere near him. His eyes gave away the pain his heart
was trying to overcome, their soft blue pools resembling the ocean just before
a hurricane hit.
Slowly making his way closer to the bed, Darren eased himself into a
chair beside it and quietly watched Chance as he thought about how long it might
be before she woke up. He knew it would be a long time, and he was ready to
wait it out. All he wanted to see were her chocolate brown eyes again staring
at him with the same intensity that she possessed.
Colby made her way closer to Darren then gently placed her hands on his
shoulders. He was tense, prompting her to slowly massage his muscles as he sat
staring at Chance, the distance in his eyes echoing the distance his mind was
from the plane of reality. Colby knew he was thinking about Chance. She could
almost feel a twinge of jealousy towards her, but let it slide knowing that
she wasn’t in love with Darren anymore. She already found someone new, someone
else to love that loved her back, someone more settled and with a steady job.