Chapter
16: Let Me Let Go
Daniel woke up hours later to find Shiri had slipped into his lap and
that Chance was gone. He looked around the room to find that Jason was also not
there. He assumed both were together and thought nothing more about it. He
stared down at Shiri and gently ran his fingers though her silky black hair. He
couldn’t believe how things came together between them. It was so right with
her. She had nothing to hide from her; he could feel it every time they kissed.
Yet, there was still that doubt he would always feel. Alexia had jaded him, and
now his was still unable to love Shiri the way she loved him.
As Daniel pondered the events in his life, Shiri was beginning to awaken.
She rolled onto her back and stared up at him with a smile. Daniel looked down
at her and responded to her affection with a kiss.
“Good morning,” she whispered.
“Morning,” Daniel replied. Shiri sat up and stretched out. “How did
you sleep?”
“I slept well. I had no idea you were so comfortable,” Shiri said
with a giggle. It was then that Majandra woke up to find them talking.
“Hey, guys,” she whispered in a groggy voice.
“Good morning,” Shiri responded.
“Where’s Chance?” Majandra observed.
“I don’t know, but I’ll bet she’s with Jason. He’s gone too,”
Daniel answered.
Just as they were beginning to settle into the morning, the door quietly
creaked open. Jason and Chance strolled through the door.
“Hey, where have you guys been?” Shiri quietly asked.
“We went to get some coffee,” Jason said.
Chance walked over to her spot on the couch and sat down leaving a little
room for Jason to sit beside her.
“You should have brought me some coffee. I really need a blast of
caffeine to keep me awake for the rest of the day,” Majandra said as she
glared at Jason.
“So, how are you feeling this morning?” Daniel asked Chance as the
others talked to each other about the coffee issue.
“A little better, but I’m still scared,” Chance replied. Daniel saw
her stare down at the ring Scott had given her and quickly took it of to put in
her pocket. He wondered why she had done that, but decided not to ask.
“Don’t worry, Daz is going to be fine,” Daniel said, wrapping his
arm around Chance and hugging her tight. She laid her head on his shoulder and
closed her eyes.
“Ms. Malone?” Dr. Hughes voice softly came from the other end of the
room.
“Yeah?” she replied, standing up and heading towards him.
“I have some news for you about Darren,” he said, leading her away
from her inquisitive friends.
All conversations had stopped as the doctor led Chance out of the room.
Daniel knew bad news was coming. Shiri wrapped her arms around his neck also
afraid of what was going on outside. The others were also awake staring at the
door waiting for some sign that everything was going to be all right. They
waited for what seemed like hours for Chance to return, and when she did, all
eyes were on her.
Closing the door behind her, she said, “Now that everyone’s awake, I
want to call a meeting.”
After a few minutes of waiting for them to get comfortable, Chance was
finally able to speak her mind. “Darren doesn’t look too good. He has a rare
type of pneumonia, and Dr. Hughes doesn’t know whether or not he’s going to
make it. Today I’m heading to New York in hopes of somehow freeing myself from
my curse and maybe getting closure on Scott’s death. I’m praying that this
will help Darren stay alive even though it seems out of this world. But all of
you who know me also know that I’ve had some really strange out of this world
experiences, so I’m ready to try anything to keep my love from dying. Dan, I
want you to come with me because I know you have your own business to take care
of. You know what I’m talking about, so don’t even try to get out of this.
I’m letting go of Scott, you have to let go of Alexia.”
“But, Chance, what about the show?” Katherine asked.
“I’m planning to have a long chat with the director and everyone else
on the crew. I don’t really care for what they say. Darren is more important
to me than some role on a television show. I hope they understand, otherwise, I
guess this is the last time we’re going to see each other,” Chance answered
as she looked down at the floor so that no one could see the tears flow from her
eyes.
“One more question? Why do I have to come with you? I’m already over
Alexia,” Daniel said as if he really meant it.
“Then tell Shiri you love her,” Chance immediately retorted.
Daniel turned to Shiri and tried to come up with those three dreaded
words, but his mind was unable to force his mouth to say them. She waited
patiently for him to do what Chance had said, but soon turned away in tears when
she saw he couldn’t.
“See, you can’t do it. You have to say goodbye to Alexia in order to.
You’re coming with me, no questions asked,” Chance said as she headed for
the door.
Daniel stood up and ran after her. “I can’t believe you just did
that. What’s wrong with you? Everything was perfectly fine between us before
you had to spoil it,” he hissed.
“Have you ever considered the fact that she loves you with all her
heart? She even told me herself. She said it last night when we were talking
about you and Darren. I can’t believe how blind you’ve become ever since
Alexia’s death,” she snapped back, leaving the room.
“She said that?” Daniel calmly asked.
“Yeah,” Chance said as she headed for the double doors, not turning
to face him when she left.
Daniel was left standing at the door watching her as she left the
building. He couldn’t believe what a mess had been left behind for him to try
and clean up. His whole world had been turned upside down now that he wasn’t
able to express his love for Shiri like she could for him.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was 3:30 in the afternoon when Daniel and Chance stepped out of the
terminal at JFK to find no limo waiting for them. The heavy rain that fell from
the sky had probably delayed it. As they stood at the side of the road
underneath a canopy, several people walked past them and began to whisper. Since
both were dressed in black and were wearing heavy black coats to keep warm in
the cold weather, Daniel knew what the people were probably thinking.
“What do you think they’re whispering about us?” Chance turned to
Dan and asked quietly.
“I’m guessing they think we’re FBI agents or something,” he
replied with a goofy grin. “I’m just hoping they don’t realize who we
are.”
“You had a really good idea by putting the tickets under an alias. The
press would have been all over us by now if they knew we were in New York,”
she said.
“I’ve been doing it since Savage Garden became so famous. The
airlines are very lenient on rock stars, and they rarely leak information about
their destination and flight plan,” Dan answered.
“Oh, thank God. Here’s the limo,” Chance said as she waved for the
driver. The black car stopped just in front of them and they got in. Half an
hour later, both had reached the cemetery where both Scott and Alexia had been
coincidently buried. They took separate paths to their destinations. Chance went
right and headed for the open field where Scott had been buried. Daniel headed
in the opposite direction towards a grove of trees.
When he saw her grave, Daniel began to weep. He dropped his umbrella and
tried to hold everything back, but couldn’t. It took him a few minutes to
regain his composure.
“Alexia,” Daniel softly cried as his hand brushed against the marble
gravestone. His fingers traced over Alexia’s names while his tears dripped
down his face mixing with the rain already falling from the sky.
“I miss you so much. I’m sorry that I found out about you. I’m
sorry for being the reason you killed yourself. But I’m not sorry about
meeting Shiri. No matter how much I think about it, I still think I’m
betraying you by saying I love her, but I do, and no one can change that.” He
paused, his mind becoming a jumble of words he wanted to say all at once. A rush
of images passed through his brain reminding him off all the lost memories he
had stowed away in the back of his mind so he wouldn’t have to see them again.
But there they were, flashing their way past him like a tidal wave. He wanted to
forget, but a part of him didn’t.
Daniel took a deep breath and began again. “I can’t change the fact
that you’re gone, but I have to move on. I have moved on. Now all I have left
to say is goodbye, so, goodbye, Alexia. It was nice meeting you and sharing my
life with you.”
Daniel cast a gaze over his shoulder to see Chance retreating from her
vantage point. He knew she could have walked over to him at any moment, but she
didn’t, and he was glad that she hadn’t. He brushed his fingers over the
letters of Alexia’s name again, then stood up and headed for the limo as he
picked up his umbrella, away from this bad nightmare that was finally ending.
Daniel made his way to the limo ten minutes later. He entered the car
quietly and sat far away from Chance. He wanted to be alone, and could see that
she understood that when she turned to face the opposite window. When they
reached the hotel, an uneasy stillness settled between them.
“Dan, are you okay?” Chance finally asked as they pulled up to the
curb.
“No, I’m not okay,” he retorted, opening the door and heading for
the hotel.
“The least you could do is wait for me,” she hollered to him. Daniel
turned and glared at her, stopping at the steps and holding the door. Chance
quickly ran over and went inside. “What’s going on? Are you pissed at me for
something?”
“No shit, Chance! Why do you think I’m pissed at you?” Daniel
almost yelled. A few people turned their heads in his direction.
“Well, I’m sorry for bringing you out here, but I had to. Haven’t
you seen what you’ve been doing to Shiri? You’re killing her by not telling
her anything. I can just tell by looking into her eyes that she’s torn between
wanting more in your relationship and breaking it off. Can’t you see, or are
you that stupid?” Chance angrily argued. “Maybe when you give her a call
tonight you might pick up the confusion in her voice. This is why I brought you
out here. You need some time to think about everything that’s happened in your
life and decide what you want to do next.” She walked away leaving him to
think about the things she said.
Daniel watched as Chance walked towards the elevator and headed upstairs
for her room. He soon retreated to his room and fell onto the bed. His tired
eyes were about to close when he heard a knock at his door. Sluggishly, he
picked himself up off the bed and headed towards it.
“Chance, what is it?” Daniel questioned as he opened the door. To his
surprise, Chance wasn’t the one standing there. Instead it was a man in dark
clothing and a long overcoat.
He flashed a badge and said, “Officer John Matthews, NYPD. Is Chance
Malone here?”
“Actually, no. I heard her leave a few minutes ago,” Daniel replied.
“Do you know where she might have gone?” Officer Matthews asked.
“I think she went to the bar to cool off.”
“Cool off?”
“We’ve been through a lot today. She’s got so much on her mind. She
needed an escape.” Daniel waited for a moment before asking, “Is it okay if
I asked you what you want to talk to her about?”
“This man.” The officer pulled out a picture of a dark haired boy
with insensitive features and a gray overcoat that Daniel didn’t recognize.
“His name is Brad Jackson. I have to notify her that she might be called to
testify against him in court if he pleads not guilty to the murder of Scott
Holland.”
The picture and the story clicked. This was the guy that had taken
Scott’s life. This was the guy that had wanted to kill Chance more than once.
“I’ll take you down to the bar. I think Chance is going to be thrilled by
the news,” Daniel said as he led the officer down the hall and towards the
elevator.
“By the way, how did you know we where here?” he asked.
“Well, we contacted Ms. Malone’s grandparents and they told us she
had moved to California. They also told us that she’d be here on a trip for a
few days,” Officer Matthews said.
“That’s so ironic. The whole reason Chance came out here was to get
closure on Scott’s death. This is definitely going to help her and keep her
spirits up.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because her boyfriend is dying,” Daniel nearly choked. This was the
first time he had actually thought about Darren in the last few days. He
couldn’t believe how close his best friend was to the point of no return. He
kept quiet the rest of the way to the hotel bar.
Chance sat in the corner where no bright lights were focused on her. She
was playing with her Palm Pilot, but soon put it away when she saw Daniel
heading towards her.
“I’m glad you decided to grace me with your presence,” Chance
sarcastically acknowledged.
“You’re welcome,” Daniel snidely returned, his face twisting into a
smile.
“And who’s your little friend?” she asked turning to the man in the
darkness beside Dan.
“This is Officer John Matthews. He needs to talk to you about something
that just might make your day,” Daniel replied, sitting down beside Chance in
the little booth.
She stood up and said, “Please to meet you. Care for a drink?”
“No, ma’am. I don’t have that much time,” he answered in a husky
voice.
“Alright, what have you come to tell me?” Chance bluntly asked.
“Do you know this man?” Officer Matthews said as he pulled out a
picture of a young man in a gray overcoat.
Chance’s eyes popped out of their sockets when she realized who the boy
in the picture was. “Yeah, he’s Brad Jackson,” she whispered in disbelief.
“Why do you wanna know?”
“He’s been formally charged with the murder of Scott Holland. Police
in Amsterdam found him after a drug bust and he’s being deported to America as
we speak. I saw some of the police reports and they listed you as one of the
witnesses to the murder. If he pleads not guilty to the murder charge, you’re
going to be notified because the police are going to need you to testify against
him,” the officer explained.
“Hold up, you said you found him?” Chance questioned, her doubts
needing to be clarified.
“Yes, in Amsterdam. We’ve been keeping an eye out on drug lords out
there, and he turned out to be one of them,” Matthews replied.
“Do you know how happy you’ve just made me?” she said, standing up
and hugging him as if she’d never let go. Tears filled her eyes as she added,
“Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am,” he replied. Chance let go. “I’d
better be on my way. It was a pleasure meeting you.”
“Thank you, officer,” Chance said, waving to him as he left the
lounge.
“Sit down, have another drink,” Daniel told her. “I’m buying.”
He knew this was something worth celebrating and forgetting the past about.
“This has got to be the luckiest day of my life,” she replied,
sitting down across from him. “I can’t believe the man who killed my fiancé
has finally been caught.”
“Me either. It’s been six months and he’s finally getting what he
deserves,” he answered.
“Yeah, finally.” Chance smiled. Daniel knew she was picturing Brad
being stuffed in a small cell for the rest of his life.
~~~~~~~~~~
At 10:30 the next morning, Daniel and Chance had stepped off their flight
and were heading towards baggage claim to get their bags. Daniel was happier
than she was since no one had spotted them on their way back from New York. In
his absolute bliss, Daniel became an annoyance to Chance. He kept tapping her
shoulder just to see her reaction.
“Will you please not do that?” she asked, already annoyed.
“Not until I see a smile on your face,” Daniel replied. Chance gave
him a quick grin then stared back at the twirling carousel in hopes of spotting
her suitcase.
Again, he tapped her shoulder. “You’re an ass,” Chance said.
“You’d better stop it.”
Daniel was having too much fun. He couldn’t resist tapping her shoulder
once more. “Stop it!” Chance yelled in his face. “You’re gonna get us
spotted. I know you don’t want that.”
“Fine, I won’t bother you anymore,” Daniel said as he turned away
from her and walked away. He walked towards the coffee shop at the end of the
baggage claim area. The one thing that he wanted more than ever was a small
cappuccino and a large chocolate bar. It seemed like a decade passed since he
last ate the delectable dessert.
As Daniel was beginning to walk back towards Chance, he heard her yell,
“Daniel Jones! This is the third time. Stop acting like a child and grow up!
You’re not Darren!” Perplexed by her outburst, he picked up the pace to see
what was going on. When he reached her, Daniel saw she was talking to a short
blond haired man with majestic blue eyes that reminded him of Darren’s for
some reason.
“Hey, Danny,” Chance said, wrapping her arm around him as he strode
beside her. “I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine, Steve.” Without
looking up from the CD, Steve waved his hello.
“Pleased to meet you too,” Daniel replied.
“Steve is one of my other musically inclined friends. He’s from the
band South 65,” Chance informed as she took the cup of coffee from Daniel’s
hands and took a sip.
“No shit. I love that remake of ‘The Most Beautiful Girl,’” Dan
commented. “Last I hear it was in Australia.”
“What did I tell you,” Steve said to Chance. “This is great. I’m
just hoping the band takes off even more now that we have international
airplay.”
“Well, it was great to see you again. I hope we bump into each other
more often. I’d love to talk to you about everything,” she replied taking
Daniel’s arm.
“Here,” Steve said as he scribbled something on a slip of paper in
his pocket. “My number just in case you need to talk or anything.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you around,” Chance answered heading away from
the crowded baggage claim and towards the waiting limo outside.
“How do you know him?” Daniel asked as they made their way to the
hospital.
“We’ve been friends since three years ago, but we sorta lost touch
after Fan Fair a few years back. We haven’t talked since. I can’t believe I
ran into him today. I was so not expecting it. It’s so weird. After I got rid
of Scott’s ring, everything seems to be going my way. Let’s hope that Darren
is alright now,” she said, crossing her fingers.
The moment Chance and Daniel stepped into the dark, almost dreary halls
of ICU, Chance seemed to become more tense about her surroundings. Daniel knew
she sensed something was very strange. He had also felt a calming presence pass
through him as he walked towards the waiting room.
Shiri and Majandra were the only two left from the group of friends that
gathered days before. They sat on the gray couch watching TV and waiting for any
news. Chance’s expression immediately turned grim as she expected something
had gone wrong.
“How’s Darren?” she asked.
“There’s been no improvement in his condition,” Shiri said. “The
only good news is that he’s out of quarantine. You can go see him if you want.
Maybe that’ll help him regain some of his footing, if you know what I mean.”
“Care to come with me?” Chance replied as she held the door open.
Shiri stood up and began to walk towards her.
“Anything to be far away from him,” she answered, coldly staring at
Daniel as he sat down beside Majandra.
The door closed behind the two, but Daniel knew what their conversation
was going to be about. His heart sank lower than he ever thought it could. As
his head slid into his hands, he felt the urge to cry out, but managed to hold
it in. Majandra put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to her.
“Danny, don’t worry,” she said, trying to be as gentle as she
could.
“Why is she so mad at me?” Daniel asked.
“She thinks you’re afraid of commitment. She also thinks that you
have a problem letting go of the past. That’s why she’s pissed,” Majandra
answered.
“What am I supposed to do to get her back? I love her and all, but
I’m just afraid she’s going to hurt me again,” he said.
“Tell her you love her. Do it in a bold way. Girls love that.”
“But what if she doesn’t? What if she hates me for doing it?”
“Men… You’re all impossible to deal with. You have so many
questions. Don’t think about that, just do it!” Majandra pushed.
Daniel didn’t seem to hear her as Shiri walked into the room alone. Her
icy glare once again made his way towards him. He hated it when she did that. It
made him feel so small. Daniel stood up and walked out of the room before she
had a chance to dig into him.
Daniel had been wandering through the corridor when he spotted Chance
sitting beside Darren’s bed, softly taking to him. He had waited outside for
her to leave, but realized she was just as determined as Darren was when she had
been in his place. That’s also when he realized that she had fallen asleep
still sitting in the chair. Carefully, Daniel made his way into the room and
pulled a blanket from the closet at the other end. He wrapped it around her
shoulders, kissing her forehead softly when he decided it was time for him to
go.
“Sleep well,” Daniel whispered into the room when he reached the door
then closed it behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel had fallen asleep on one of the couches farthest away from Shiri.
He heard the door creak open and saw Chance poke her head into the room. He
opened his eyes, adjusting to the light, then stood up and walked over to her. A
smiled appeared across his face. He was glad to see his one true best friend
besides Darren.
Chance began to walk out of the waiting room, Daniel following. As they
reached the sliding doors leading out of the hospital, he spoke.
“Where are we going?”
“Starbucks. I want some coffee, but the crap they have in the cafeteria
is disgusting,” Chance answered as she headed across the street to the little
café where she usually bought her coffee.
“I need to talk to you,” Daniel said as they entered the small shop,
his arm reaching for her shoulder before she got in line.
“What is it?” she asked, twisting around to face him.
“It’s about Shiri. I know she’s pissed at me, and I know it’s
your fault, but there’s got to be something you can do to make the situation
better,” he replied.
“Well,
you can start by telling her you love her,” Chance finally said as she got in
line.
“But I can’t!” Daniel protested.
“Why not?”
“Because… Because… Oh, I don’t know!” Daniel was more than
frustrated. He didn’t even want to give the subject anymore thought.
“Dan, I want you to answer this one question. What are some of the
reasons that you can’t tell her?” Chance asked.
Daniel began to think about the answer. “Um… I would have answered
Alexia, but I think I’m over her now. Anyway, another reason would be that
I’m afraid she’ll hurt me the way Alexia did. I’m afraid she’ll smash my
heart into a million pieces and I’ll never be able to love anyone the way I
love her. I’m afraid that she doesn’t love me,” he quietly said, his eyes
staring down at his shoes.
Chance tried to suppress the smile that was about to crack on her face.
“Okay, give me a little time and maybe I’ll get her to come around,” she
told him. “I’ve got the perfect plan.”
The two of them walked back into the hospital half an hour later. Daniel
headed to the waiting room while Chance made her way towards Darren’s room.
Shiri and Majandra were still asleep as he passed undetected between them and to
his couch. He lay back down and began to stare at the ceiling wondering what
kind of plan Chance had advised in such a short time.
Twenty minutes later, Chance came bursting though the door, her lungs
gasping for air. Daniel first though something bad happened, but seeing the
happy expression on her face, he knew what the news was going to be.
Shiri and Majandra had woken up when they hear the door slam into the
wall. Shiri rubbed her eyes to adjust to the light while Majandra tried not to
yell. “What the hell is going on?” she asked.
“He’s awake!” Chance screamed. “Darren’s awake!”
“What?” Shiri replied. “He is? When did this happen?”
“Just a few minutes ago!” Chance said before running out the door
again and back into Darren’s room.
“Thank the Lord!” Majandra sighed. She was glad this vigil was over.
So seemed the case with Daniel and Shiri.