Chapter 4: First “Date”

 

            Eight thirty the clock on Jay’s wall read as she put the finishing touches on her makeup and ran out the front door. She drove slowly down the sloping streets of the city to waste time. Nerves, and the fact that Darren wouldn’t leave her mind, gave Jay the impression that tonight was not going to be a good night. She pulled into the parking lot and got out of her car, smoothing out any wrinkles in her gray wool skirt and adjusting the coils of leather around her calves so that her stilettos fit more comfortably. With her light pink halter top also in the proper place, she slipped on the body length black wool coat over her shoulders and proceeded to enter the restaurant.

            It wasn’t all that full during this hour of the evening allowing Jay to scan the large waiting area and bar to find Van sitting there on one of the comfortable stools stirring his drink. He glanced in her direction and smiled as he got up and walked over to her. “And I thought you weren’t going to show,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and leading her to the host’s station.

            “Well, surprise, surprise,” Jay replied as her she quickly scanned his figure. ‘Oh…Very nice,’ Jay thought as her eyes spotted his dark denim jeans and the gray ribbed sweater that snuggly fit around his strong upper body. ‘Damn, he’s built!’ her mind kept shouting.

            The waiter seated them at in a booth at the back of the restaurant where it was much quieter than anywhere else. Van politely helped her out of her coat and set it on the coat rack just behind them before he sat down across from her. ‘A real gentleman,’ Jay thought before her mind added, ‘just like Darren.’ She shook her head, trying to get him out of her head.

            “Why’d you change?” Van asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

            “Female etiquette,” Jay simply answered as she gave him one of her stunning grins. “A girl always changes her outfit in the evening.”

            “Oh, really?” he replied skeptically, arching his eyebrows.

            “No, not really,” she said, blushing slightly as she let her head fall and look down at her hands. Jay felt his hand slip beneath her chin and bring it up so their eyes met.

            “You look beautiful,” Van softly commented as his thumb traced circles against her cheek.

            “Thank you.” Jay’s face reddened a little more as a smile crawled onto her bright pink lips as she thought, ‘He’s so much like Darren.’ The grin on her face began to wilt, but with some effort she managed to keep it from disappearing completely as Van continued to stare. ‘Stop thinking about Darren,’ her mind ordered. ‘It’s not fair to Van.’

            ‘But I can’t. I still love him,’ the other part of her cried. ‘Why did he have to show up today?’

            “Jay?” Van asked, snapping her out of her daydream.

            “Yeah?” she answered, realizing that she had been completely oblivious to what was going on around her.

            “What would you like to drink?” the waiter in front of the table asked.

            “Martini, shaken not stirred,” Jay replied. The waiter disappeared, leaving them alone.

            “You’re a Bond girl, aren’t you?” Van joked.

            “No, that’s just how I like my Martinis,” she answered.

            “Is something on your mind? You seemed a bit distracted earlier.”

            “Oh, that? It happens every once in a while. I go into a trance like state for a few minutes then wake up once my brain decides its time to restart,” Jay lied.

            “Is that normal?”

            “I suffered a severe head trauma about two years ago, so everything from that point on became normal.”

            “Head trauma? What happened?”

            “It was a terrible accident, that’s all,” Jay said, irritated. “Can we please talk about something else? I don’t wanna relive my past right now.”

            “Yeah, sure,” Van softly replied as if he understood. “So, is it going to be the usual twenty questions?”

            “In all likelihood, yeah,” she answered. “Which question would you like to start with?”

            “Name, age, things you like to do, all that good stuff…”

            And so the conversation began simply and innocently enough. Jay revealed only the few details which she thought were relevant to what she was being asked, and never more. The fear of others finding out who she really was always remained close to her heart, and the last thing she wanted was to be asked those probing questions which always ended a date. At that point, she’d walk out and never see the guy again. But at this moment, all was light and airy, fun even, without the hint of any probing questions to come. It seemed as if Van had no idea who he was talking to, something she couldn’t be happier with, and managed to stay in her comfort zone.

            From what Jay gathered during their first hour of talking was that Van was very much the extrovert. He wouldn’t stop talking! But other than that annoying trait, the things they talked about ranged from his family life, which wasn’t all that great since his mother cheated on his father and they ended up splitting, to what he did for fun, which was surfing, racing cars, and playing basketball with his friends. He also alluded to a bit of a criminal history that he wouldn’t divulge details about, saying that was something he wished to keep private until it was time to tell her. She began to worry that he had gotten into some pretty big trouble and had been in jail for a while, but he reassured her that it was nothing like that.

            The conversation soon shifted to her, and at this point, Jay was willing to talk a little more freely about herself, revealing only bits and pieces of her history. She chouse only to tell him that she used to roller blade, skateboard, and surf, but chose to keep almost everything else private for the same reasons he chose not to tell her about his criminal past. She also told him a little about her musical background, keeping Dan’s name out of it to make sure she didn’t give him any hints about her true identity. But there was something she could see in his eyes as she continued to talk that give her the impression he was trying to figure out where he had seen her before, but was having trouble placing her face.

            When Van had finished his questioning, it was time for her to turn the tables on him.

            “So, Van, interesting nickname… How’d you end up with it?” Jay questioned.

            “Like everybody else, family,” he answered.

            “Something your dad used to call you?”

            “Well, he wasn’t exactly my dad, he was more like the dad I never had. My dad was never around during my childhood. He was either making fake paper or in jail. Teddy, on the other hand, man, he was the dad I always wanted. He kept me out of trouble, got me my first job working on cars, taught me how to surf, and gave me my nickname because before that, I got stuck with Donnie. But, anyway, time went on, I moved out here from LA, took a job at the body shop, then a couple months ago, I get the news that Teddy died in a shootout with some ass wipe dope dealer looking for fake money. I still wonder to this day what I could have done to stop that from happening,” Van explained, the look in his blue eyes pitiful.

            Jay couldn’t help the outpouring of sympathy that stemmed from her heart as her mouth opened full blast to tell her own heart wrenching story. “I lost my father in a car accident after I moved out here from Australia when I was 18. Before that we had had this big argument about how he didn’t want me going to the States and that I could just as good of a school back home, but I completely went against him and moved out here because I was getting a full ride, everything was being paid for by Stanford. What more could a girl want besides a free education at an Ivy League school? I guess what I wanted meant losing what I really needed. And you know what the horrible thing was? I could feel it coming. I could sense it somehow, like a premonission. Then when my mom called to tell me the bad news, I got another shock. She blamed me for the whole fucking thing. She told me I caused my father to drink and drive that night, that my decision to leave the family was what tore it apart.” Jay could feel the tears well up in her eyes, but forced them away, wanting to continue the story. “Here’s what really gets me. The day after my accident, she flew in from Australia just so she could ask my cousin to take care of me. Is that pathetic or what? My own mother doesn’t want any part in my recovery. She just wants the sympathy.” Jay finally broke down, unable to hold back the tears any longer. She grabbed her purse and made a beeline for the bathroom. She couldn’t believe that she had just shared that information with a stranger.

            Bursting through the bathroom door, she flung herself into one of the stalls and sat down on the toilet seat, the tears streaming down her face, her heart aching for the comfort only her cousin and her ex-fiancé could give her. But she had neither. Dan was back in Australia having his own life, and she had sworn off Darren for as long as she lived. That only left the man sitting in the booth, hopefully still waiting for her if he hadn’t left already, something she was also used to when it came to sharing this kind of gut wrenching personal drama. Jay continued to cry, not giving a damn about anyone who walked in, only tearing sheet by sheet of toilet paper to dab her eyes dry.

            A sudden knock came at the door along with, “Jay, are you okay?” Her head shot up, recognizing the voice immediately. It was Van. He was still there, just as she had hoped. She wanted to reply, wanted to say that she was fine, but she wasn’t. Her eyes were still watering, and her face probably had a trail of black mascara leading down her cheeks.

            The door opened, and Jay’s head immediately shot up. Van had actually come into the ladies room looking for her. ‘Darren never would have done that,’ she thought to herself, laughing inwardly at the hilarity of it. But then there was Van, standing over her then kneeling down so that they were eye to eye, ocean blue to emerald green.

            “Are you okay?” he asked, that soft gentle voice resonating throughout the bathroom, soothing her frazzled nerves and halting her tears.

            Jay shook her head. She wanted to say something, like she was sorry for the outburst, she was sorry for any trouble she had caused him, but she remained quiet as he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. She gently laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent of his spicy aftershave. It was a nice way to clear her mind, being held by someone she barely knew but already felt such a strong connection to. Maybe Van had been the guy she was waiting for. Maybe he was the answer to all her prayers. She didn’t know, but the odds were definitely in his favor.

            After having finished her cry, Jay sat up and looked at him, still sniffling as he reached over and pulled a few pieces of toilet paper off the roll and began drying her eyes with it. “Are you okay now?” Van asked as he helped her up and walked her over to the row of sinks so she could wash her face.

            “I feel a little better,” Jay answered, unable to look at him as she talked. She feared he was getting ready to skip out on her, leave her high and dry like all the other guys she had dated, but he stayed there, holding her by the waist to keep her upright. It was a subtle gesture of his willingness to stay with her even through something as hard as this. Jay finally looked up at him, her eyes still red, but her heart content. The look he gave her back reassured her that he’d be there, through thick and thin, through good and bed, no matter what happened. She smiled, her face lighting up, and he bent down, placing a soft kiss on her pouted pink lips. It was the beginnings of a long lasting relationship, something she felt deep in her heart, like she had felt with Darren, only this time it was a little different. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was and decided that she’d figure it out later.

            Their dinner arrived soon after they had emerged from the bathroom, Van’s arm wrapped around Jay’s waist, guiding her through the tables back to their own then helping her to her seat. She was glad that the food was already there. It gave her something to do other than talk about what had just happened. It was hard for her to believe that she just opened up and revealed so much on a first day. She was still wondering why he remained, why he hadn’t run like all the others. It might have had something to do with his own childhood, she just didn’t know, and decided not to push it. One crying episode was enough for one night.

            They ate in silence, only glancing at each other every once in a while and smiling politely as the waiter continued to pour wine into their glasses. By the time they had finished, two bottles were already gone, and Jay was feeling a little tipsy. She knew she’d be a mess driving that night, but she’d play it off, it was, after all, only a five minute drive from her apartment. There was not too much of a chance getting caught by a cop. After dessert was done and Van had paid for the meal, they were off to their separate cars and drives home.

            “Well, it was a really nice night,” Jay said as she stopped in front of the BMW and unlocked the door. She turned to find Van standing a few feet away from her.

            “Yeah, definitely,” he replied.

            “I guess its time to call it a night.”

            “Good night, Jay.” He stepped a little closer, deciding not to be too up front, and kissed her on the cheek thinking it would ease the uncertainty she had about him.

            Jay stood still, her eyes closing as his lips made contact with her skin. She leaned slightly into him, his warm breath sending goose bumps down her cheek and neck. This was the perfect way to end a first date that started off quite rocky and awkward. She sighed as he pulled away and headed to his car. “Good night, Van,” Jay called after him as he got in. He waved and sped off as she got into hers. ‘He’s really sweet,’ she thought, the smile creeping back onto her lips as she gunned the engine and shot out of the parking lot.

Chapter 5: Darren's Journal

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