Chapter
7: Opening the Door to New Possibilities
It took some effort for Jay to wake up the next morning. She really didn’t
want to go to class that day, but her friends would end up calling her a million
times wondering what happened and why she hadn’t bothered to make it to class.
That would probably lead to what happened the night before, and there went her
private life. It was the phone that managed to get her out of bed. Since it
was on the other side of the room, she actually had to get up and answer it.
The number was one she didn’t recognize and decided to let the machine pick
it up before she did.
“Hi, this is Jay, leave a message and I’ll get back to you,” her machine
said as she stood by the phone and waited.
“Hey, Jay, it’s Van. I guess you’re not home, so…” he trailed off and
she quickly picked it up.
“I’m home, I’m home,” Jay repeated, sounding a bit desperate. God, she
was really getting to be the sap again. As if Darren didn’t already do a number
on her the first time. ‘STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!’ her mind yelled. ‘It’s not
fair to Van!’ She shook her head and listened to the man on the other end of
the line.
“Oh, hey,” he replied. “I was afraid that you weren’t home or you were
asleep or something.”
“Well, I was asleep, but I needed to wake up, so thanks for getting me
out of bed,” she said. Could this conversation get any lamer? She began to wonder.
“Oh, well, then, good morning.”
“Morning…”
“Uh, what are you plans for the rest of the day?” Van asked.
“I’ve got class from ten to
“Could I take you out to breakfast, or maybe lunch? Whatever you want,
I’d just really like to be with you,” he sincerely replied, the earnest clear
in his voice.
Jay smiled. “Yeah, sure, why don’t you meet me at the Starbucks near
campus around nine?”
“Alright, I guess I’ll see you then. Bye.”
“Bye.” Jay hung up feeling lightheaded and giddy. And she thought this
guy wasn’t going to last. What a bad assumption that had been.
Van hung up and leaned against the wall, his mind running a mile a minute.
What was he going to do today? How was he going to face her after agreeing to
kill her? He knew that it would never happen, but Seth had been so specific,
so cold, so calculated. And after he found out that Van had already met her,
he used it to his advantage, extending this assignment to an indefinite date.
He sighed and pushed himself off the kitchen wall deciding he needed to get
ready before he ended up being late to their second date, if that’s what you
could even call getting coffee and maybe a scone at nine in the morning.
By eight-thirty, he was out of the apartment. With Deaq still asleep
in the other bedroom, it was easy to sneak out the front door without disturbing
him or alerting him to what he was doing. Van grabbed the keys to one of the
vintage Mustangs and sped off towards the coffee shop, hoping he’d be the first
one to show just so he could get his thoughts straight before she arrived.
Hoping and actually having it happen were two different things, and in
this case, that was true. Jay was already sitting in one of the lavish couches
near the window of the coffee shop, her feet propped up on one of the coffee
tables as she read the latest issue of Popular Science. Van took a deep breath
and opened the door, the little bell sounding as he walked through the threshold,
which quickly got her attention. She looked up at smiled, her face lighting
up the whole room as he walked over to the couch, trying to stay calm and plastering
his own fake smile on his lips.
“Morning!” Jay chirped as she put down her magazine and made some room
for him to sit down.
“Morning,” Van replied as he took his seat beside her.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I already ordered us some lattes,” she said,
pointing to the two coffee cups in front of her.
“No, I don’t mind. Thanks,” he answered, still trying to look cool and
collected.
“So, what’s up? How’s life?”
“Nothing, it’s good. How about you?”
“I’m good, thanks. Just catching up on some reading,” Jay said as she
picked up her magazine again and flipped it open.
“Interesting reading choice,” Van commented as he glanced down at the
article she had been reading. It had something to do with high tech guns and
other kinds of new age weapons. ‘Great,’ he thought, ‘I really need that kind
of reminder, don’t I?’ He shook the thought out of his mind, choosing instead
to focus on what she was trying to tell him.
“I’ve got this big ass physics mid term today, so of course I’m freaked
out about it. The only thing that’s keeping me from going ballistic is sitting
here with you, drinking my coffee, and reading my magazine. Thanks for the invitation,
by the way. I really appreciate it.”
“It was no problem,” Van replied. “I just wanted to be with you today,
ya know? If you don’t mind, that is.”
“Of course I don’t mind!” Jay exclaimed. “I really like spending time
with you. Don’t ever doubt me on that, unless I get pissed at you. Then I’m
known to give people the silent treatment.”
“Well, thanks for letting me know about that little trait. I’ll keep
it in mind just in case you’re pissed off at me for some unknown reason.”
Jay laughed. “So, is there any really specific reason you wanted to see
me today?” she asked.
“Well, actually there was,” Van said as he gazed into those bright green
eyes, sparkling like emeralds in the sunlight. He leaned over and placed a soft
kiss on her glossy pink lips.
It was about at that same moment Darren was being dragged across the
pavement by the malevolent dog he had agreed to take care of. “Tiger, HEEL!”
he yelled, trying to get the dog to stop for just a second so he could go get
his morning coffee before the place filled with customers and his chances of
being recognized shot up. For the first time he realized, Tiger actually stopped
and flopped down beside one of the parking meters, stretching out his body as
if he didn’t feel like walking anymore. Darren said a silent prayer as he tied
up his leash and began making his way towards the door. Glancing through the
window, he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening at the sight before
him. He recognized the brunette sitting on the couch as Jay, but the guy kissing
her was a complete stranger. His heart sank into his shoes as he continued to
stare. All his hopes were being crushed one by one as they continued to kiss
each other, pulling away only to suck in a couple of breaths of air before going
at it again. He could only pray to the heavens that nothing else would happen
as he stood there and watched through the window.
Darren’s train of thought was finally broken when someone tried to push
past him to get to the door. He tore his eyes away from the window and followed
the woman into the coffee shop.
Jay didn’t bother to look up at the customers walking through the door;
she was consumed by this incredible kiss, its power felt throughout her body.
This was definitely the way she wanted to start all her mornings. When Van tried
to pull away, she was quick to say, “Oh, god, please don’t stop,” and pulled
him in once more. She could feel his hand slip around her waist, pulling her
into his body as he continued to kiss her. They finally broke a few minutes
later, a strange feeling coming over her as she took a few quick breaths and
looked up to find the last person she expected to see that day gazing over in
her direction.
“Darren,” Jay barely whispered as she stared at him, her eyes showing
a myriad of emotions; surprise, bewilderment, anger, and most of all, hurt,
hurt for him that he had to see her kiss another man. She began to wonder why
she had felt that kind of pain when he raised his hand and waved at her as if
it were nothing, as if they were just friends, not caring what the other did
no matter how much it hurt them on the inside. That’s how she felt at the moment.
She felt as if she had betrayed him somehow, but when she realized that he didn’t
look even remotely angry or hurt, she began to feel a little better.
“Who’s that?” Van questioned, looking at him with disdain. He knew who
Darren Hayes was. He knew that he had loved Jay for a while, even asked her
to marry him, and that she was the one to break off the engagement. But he feared
that Darren would take her away from him, that she would fall for him again,
and he’d be left in the dust, his crumbling heart finally blown away by the
wind.
“He’s an old friend,” Jay answered. She stood up and walked over to him,
taking Van’s hand and pulling him along with her. He realized that he wasn’t
the only one keeping secrets now. He began to feel a little better about the
situation until he was face to face with her former lover. “Van, this is Darren.
Daz, I’d like you to meet my new boyfriend,
Van.” She put the emphasis on the word boyfriend, giving Van the impression
she was trying to prove something to him.
‘Van, how gay is that?’ Darren scornfully thought as he extended his
right hand, plastering a fake smile on his face for the sake of appearances.
“Please to meet you,” he said aloud.
“You too,” Van replied, eyeing him suspiciously, but thought, ‘Daz, how
gay is that?’
Jay was thankful that Darren had changed his hair color. She could see
the wheels turning inside Van’s head from the suspicious look he gave Darren,
but he didn’t say anything else. The tension between them was thick enough to
be cut with a dull butter knife. She had to intervene before anything else happened.
“Hey, Daz, could I talk to you for a moment?” she asked, pulling her hand out
of Van’s grasp and leading Darren towards the opposite side of the room. “What
the hell are you doing here?” Jay sharply questioned once they were out of anyone’s
range of hearing.
“Why are you being such a bitch? It’s not like I did anything to you
this time. I was just trying to be nice. It’s not like I even care that you
have a new boyfriend,” Darren snapped.
Jay held her tongue for a moment. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Did Darren really just want to meet her as a friend the other day when he asked
her to lunch, or whatever it was? Was he really willing just to be friends after
all they had gone through? It was a possibility since obviously her kissing
another guy right in front of him didn’t bother him all that much. Or was he
keeping that locked up inside? “You don’t care that I have a new boyfriend?”
Jay skeptically replied. “Right, I seriously doubt that. I know you too well,
Darren. You’re not the kind of person to just give up on someone like that.
Now tell me the truth, does it hurt that I’m with Van and not with you?”
Darren could feel that familiar chord being struck in his heart, being
pulled back as far as it could go without snapping. He had to think of something
to make her believe that he was over her, but telling her that he had a girlfriend
would be completely out of the question because she’d want to meet her, and
frankly, he didn’t know any women other than Leonie at the moment. Where did
that leave him? He had heard speculations on the Internet that he was gay. Maybe
that would be the best way out, telling her that he was gay. It sounded plausible
in his head, especially with all the cases he thought he could make.
Darren realized that she had been waiting for an answer for over a minute
now, and was also getting suspicious. Finally, he sighed and took her hands.
“Jay, what I’m about to tell you is something I’ve been hiding for a very long
time, from myself and from everyone else,” he began.
“Darren,” she replied, her voice a little shaky as if she feared what
he was about to say. “What are you talking about?”
“Before I can tell you, you have promise me that you won’t breathe a
word to anyone about it, especially Daniel. Will you promise me that much?”
he asked.
“I promise,” Jay answered.
“Alright, Jack, what I wanted to tell you the other day was that I’m…
I’m… gay,” Darren barely whispered.
Jay stood there, her bright green eyes open wide like her mouth, which
formed a perfect “o.” She tried to find something to say, some way to reply,
but couldn’t. Her mind barely wrapped around the concept. It was like he had
been speaking gibberish to her and she couldn’t understand a word that came
from his mouth. ‘How could he be gay?’ The question kept running through her
mind as she continued to stare at him, still in disbelief.
“You’re… gay,” Jay finally repeated, thinking that hearing the words
come out of her mouth wouldn’t make it so strange. Wrong! She was left just
as confused as before. She shook her head. “You can’t be gay! Not after everything
we’ve been through. How is it possible? How can you be gay?” It looked as if
she was going to cry.
“Jay, no; everything we’ve been through still has a place in my heart.
It was wonderful, it’s just that… I don’t know. I can’t explain my sexuality
to you. It just happened. I had a revelation, and I accepted it. Please, don’t
think less of me because you now know. If anything, I want it to be the bridge
that brings us together again, as friends instead of lovers,” Darren pleaded
as he continued to gaze into those widened green eyes. “I’ll let you think about
it. For now, I’ll let you get back to your coffee and your new boyfriend.” He
let go of her hands and began walking back towards the counter to grab his coffee
and run. He couldn’t believe that he had just lied to her like he had. If she
ever found out, it would be the end of their friendship. Hell, she’d even turn
Daniel against him. He could only hope that things would shape out in the end.
“Darren, wait,” Jay called from behind him. “I would like to be friends.”
Darren couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. She had accepted
him as her friend again. It was quite a relief, but he still had his fears.
“Can I have your number?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Darren replied. He grabbed a pen from his pocket and took
her hand to write it down because there was no paper anywhere to be found. Jay
glanced at it and smiled. “I’ll see you around.”
“I’ll call you,” Jay said, the smile still bright on her face, as she
waved him off.
Van looked on all the while, his ears picking up the parts that Jay practically
yelled, and from what he could hear, Darren wasn’t a threat any longer. Hell,
he was gay! He should have been more afraid for himself than for Jay. The thought
made him laugh at the way he acted, and he noted that the next time he saw Darren
he’d apologize for being such an ass. As Jay made her way back to their couch
and sat down, he asked, “So, what was that all about?”
“Oh, nothing, we were just making up for a whole lot of lost time. Don’t
worry,” she replied. “So, now, where were we? Oh, I remember, I asked you why
you wanted me to go out with you this morning, and you responded by kissing
me. What was that all about?”
“I just wanted to kiss you because I really couldn’t last night. I knew
it would be awkward, so I thought I’d do it today ‘cause I thought you’d be
a little more at ease than you were then.”
“Well, I do feel a lot more comfortable now. Thanks,” Jay answered as
she leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder. The day had started
out pretty good, and finding out that Darren had gotten over her had been a
relief, but there was still something nagging at her insides about him and the
way he acted. He still seemed a little torn up and heartbroken, but that could
have just been what she was feeling. Right now, she tried not to think about
it. Jay let the thoughts drift out of her mind as she felt Van wrap his arm
around her and tighten his hold. He was warm and safe, but could never be Darren.
Jay scolded herself once more for thinking of him that way, deciding once and
for all that she was over him, that she didn’t need his love, only his friendship,
and that their time as lovers had gone, it was in the past, it was over. The
present and future was all she had now, and she was determined to make everything
go her way, no matter what.