Chapter
9: The Ultimatum
Jay showed up at the studio around
Jay quickly took the door handle and strode into the studio. At the receptionists’
desk, she asked, “Could I please speak to Luke Skywalker?”
The woman at the desk looked at her awkwardly, but motioned for Jay to
follow her down the hall past several doors. They stopped at one marked, “Spin
in progress, Knock if dizzy.” Jay laughed as she knocked.
It took a moment for someone to finally answer, but Jay felt relieved
that Darren wasn’t the person behind the door. Instead, it was Leonie, her eyes
wide and face blank of expression.
“Jack?” she asked in shock. “Is that really you?” She reached over and
touched Jay’s shoulder, her fingers brushing up against the wool fabric of her
coat.
“Yeah, Leo, it’s me,” Jay softly answered, a smile gracing her face as
she swatted Leonie’s hand away from her shoulder. Her reaction was just a bit
stranger than she could have expected.
Leonie grabbed her in a bear hug, and sobbed, “Oohh, my GOD! My crying
buddy! I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too! How have you been?” Jay questioned as Leonie let go.
“Good, good. I heard you bumped into Darren a few days ago. For a second
I thought he was kidding, but seeing him so happy in the last 48 hours gave
me the impression that he wasn’t. Now that you’re here, well, there goes everything
out the door,” Leo explained. “I still can’t believe it’s you. I thought I was
never going to see you again!”
“Oh, my God! Really? Leo! I must have called you a hundred times when
I got out here. Sorry that those calls started to dwindle. School has been so
hard!”
“I’d bet! Missing nine months would kill your grades, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, but you know me, little miss smart ass, always striving to do
better than ever,” Jay replied. “Hey, where’s Darren? He said that he’d let
me listen to a few of the songs that are going on the album.”
Leonie grabbed her arm and dragged her deeper into the studio towards
the boards where two men were sitting with headphones on their ears. Their heads
were bobbing as they played back the track. She pointed past the boards to the
glass window. Darren was standing there, his headphones on, his eyes closed,
singing his heart out on a track.
“I’ve never seen him so wrapped up in his music before,” Jay whispered
as she and Leonie watched.
“Oh, yeah. He always gets that way in the studio,” Leonie replied.
“What song is that?” Jay asked hearing a couple of notes that escaped
from the headphones.
“I don’t really know. We’ll find out in a sec.”
“And cut,” one of the producers said. “I think we got it.”
After throwing his head back and stretching his neck, Darren opened his
eyes again to see the new face in the studio. A wide smile came across his lips
when he realized it was Jay. He waved, and she waved back. Stepping out of the
booth, he headed straight for her.
“Hey, you showed up,” Darren said as he gave her a hug.
“Of course I showed up! I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Jay answered.
She leaned in a little closer and quietly added, “I also really wanna talk to
you about something in private if you can find the time.”
“Yes, anything for you. Just give me a few minutes to playback this last
track to see how it turned out, then I’m all yours.” Darren turned around and
headed for the board where the producers were sitting and chatting amongst themselves.
“So, how did Leo take seeing you for the first time in months?” he asked.
“She freaked when she saw me. I thought she was gonna knock me down when
she hugged me,” Jay answered with a giggle.
Darren laughed. Turning to Leonie, he said, “You really did miss her,
didn’t you?”
“Yeah, just a little,” Leonie sheepishly replied. “Of course I missed
her! She was my best friend!”
“Well, it’s good to see that some of the gang is back together. I just
wish the rest of us were here,” Darren said.
“Hey, weren’t you supposed to give me a listen to those songs?” Jay quickly
changed the subject. “What was the one you were just singing? I caught some
of it. Pretty cool. Almost retro eighties I think.”
“Oh, that was ‘Crush.’ Glad you like it,” Darren said as he sat down
on one of the empty chairs next to the boards. He turned on the speakers and
started to play some of the song for her.
“Cyndi Lauper/Jackson/Simon le bon/I put Eurhythmics on/Poppin' and lockin'
in the USA/Day Glo sweater tied around my neck/Studded denim/Big hair/Acid wash/Rubik’s
cube/My boom box/You know it's alright/I promise you tonight/All you gotta do
is choose life.
“Got a little crush/I just can’t get enough of that stuff/It's such a
rush/Got a little crush/I just can’t get enough of that stuff/It's such a rush.”
After the first few lines of the song, Jay had nearly made her way to
the floor laughing, her sides almost splitting from the hilarity she found in
the song. Her eyes began to water as she held her stomach for dear life. “Oh,
shit! That is so fuckin’ eighties, it’s not even funny!” she was giggling.
“Then why are you laughing?” Darren asked, pulling her up into his lap.
“Because it is!” Jay retorted, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Dude,
if that song doesn’t hit number one somewhere, then all the people who grew
up in the eighties are probably dead.”
It was Darren’s turn to laugh again. “Why, thanks for the comment,” he
replied.
“You’re welcome! What else ya got?”
“How about this one?” Darren threw on another very poppy song, this time
with a little more sinister beat.
“You're looking like first class/Acting like a cheap date/Honey driven
smile/So stylin' that you know what you do/Don't you... baby.../Eyes that penetrate/Heat
that denigrates/Let’s communicate/I can hardly wait to get to you/And show you
baby.../If you want to/I can be dirty too/I can spin you around/Pick you up
and go down/If you want to/I could be just like you/And do the dirty things
you do.”
“Okay, this song just proves that guys think with their dicks and not
with their brains,” Jay said, getting up off of Darren’s lap and walking around
the studio.
“Ouch!” Leonie expressed as she winced in fake pain.
“That was mean!” he screeched.
“Well, it’s true! Come on, Leo, don’t you agree with me?” Jay turned
to Leonie and asked.
“Oh, hey, this is not my battle,” she answered, putting her hands up
and starting to laugh.
“Okay, whatever. What else?” Jay questioned as she took a seat in another
empty chair across the studio.
“Um…” Darren started as he looked at the keys on the mixing board trying
to figure out what song to play next. He really didn’t want to dare touch any
of the ballads fearing that Jay would start asking questions about who they
were for. He was about to hit the key for “Heart Attack,” but his finger accidentally
slipped, and he hit “Where You Want To Be” instead, the song he had worked on
earlier, when he first met up with Jay and her knew boyfriend.
“Hey there stranger/Do you remember? /You were a part of my life/Early
December/Think I remember? /Sentiment cuts like a knife...
“The seasons are changing/Life's rearranging/Full of could have dones/Would
have beens/It's all your fault/And where've you been/And how times goes/And
though I don't even know/How to fill in the spaces/And the love you've erased
in my life...”
Jay sat in her chair as she listened to the song’s lyrics. Her heart
almost skipped a beat when she realized how deep it cut into her soul. This
had been the first song that had almost made her cry. She watched as Darren
reached over to turn it off, but grabbed his hand and pulled it back so she
could hear a little more of it. She wanted to know what it was about and why
it made her cry.
“Are you where you wanted to be? /Did you get there easily? /Did I make
you sacrifice? /Did you make a sharp left/When you should have turned right?
/Are you where you wanted to be? /Did you sell off all of your gold/Did you
trade it in? /Did you wait for love/Or settle for somebody to hold?
“Barely symphonic/But strangely ironic/Moments contained in one glance/Oh
how I adored you/But now I'm ignored by you/Nowhere a hint of romance/And now
it's vaguely familiar/I think I remember sharing every single intimacy/It doesn't
seem so strange to me that we barely entertained/Even the politest of phrases/But
sometimes at night/I conjure you up in my mind...”
Standing up, Jay walked over to where Leonie stood, her eyes rimmed with
tears. She held them back, wishing she had let Darren cut off the song when
he had so she wouldn’t have to hear this.
“Sorry,” Darren said as he started looking at the boards, his eyes keeping
a distance from Jay so not to indicate anything to her.
“Darren?” she asked, getting a little closer to him.
“Huh?” he replied, keeping his head turned away from her.
“Is that song what I think it is?” Jay softly questioned.
“I can explain,” Darren started.
“You don’t have to. I think I already know.” She turned to leave.
“Jay, wait.” Darren followed her. He led Jay into an adjacent empty recording
room and sat her down in a chair then took his place across from her in another.
“I can see what you’re thinking,” he said. “I can see the tears in your eyes.
You think that song is about it us.”
“Yes, I do,” Jay began to cry as she turned her face so he wouldn’t see
the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
“It is,” Darren softly affirmed. “And I know you’re probably thinking
I wrote it as a way to get back at you, but I didn’t. It was part of the healing
process. I needed to get those words out or I would have killed myself again.
You probably had your own way of dealing with our breakup. This was mine, and
I understand that it probably upsets you that I wrote it down and decided to
make a song out of it, but I did it out of the love I still feel for you.” Darren
paused to reach over to gently guide her face so that they were staring at each
other and took her hands in his. “I’ll never stop loving you, and I know that
prospect scares you, but I can see it in your eyes that you still love me too
and that it hurts that we’re so close yet so far apart. I don’t want you to
feel that way. I want us to be comfortable with each other again, like we used
to be. I don’t want you to drift away. I want to be your friend, and I’ll do
anything to keep it that way. If you think that it will in any way endanger
your relationship with Van, if you think you won’t be able to handle it, then
I’ll understand.”
“I want to be friends too, but you also have your own problems with letting
go,” Jay replied. “You love me so much that you can’t let go when you need to.
Look, Darren, I want to be friends, but right now, you’re making it hard for
me to think that you’ve moved on and that you’re over me when you’re obviously
not, so either tell me right now that you’re gonna stop thinking about the past
and get into the present, or I can’t be your friend.”
It was the final ultimatum; Darren’s last shot at Jay’s friendship. If
he wanted to be close to her, he had to get over his love for her or risk losing
her all together. He nodded his head and said, “I’m over you, Jack, and I’ll
do whatever it takes to prove it.”
“Then find yourself a girlfriend… er… boyfriend, sorry, still adjusting
to the new you, and show me you can have a real relationship.”
“But… I don’t know anybody,” Darren tried to sound convincing about being
unable to find someone else. He was really getting in too deep now, and had
practically run into the point of no return.
“You know, I’ve got this friend who would be perfect for you. He’s a
great guy, he’s cute, he’s smart, and he’s gay.”
“Jay…”
“Come on, he’s great! And frankly, he is in desperate need of some fun.
Please, Darren, this is the only way you’re going to convince me that you can
be my friend and not try to go after me again.”
Okay, now this was the point of no return. All Darren could do was nod his head.
He was cornered, and there was no way of getting out of it. He understood what
she was trying to do, and realized it was probably for his own good, other than
the fact that she thought he was gay and was hooking him up with a friend. But
at least this was his test to see if he could get over her and live a real life
instead of this imaginary one that involved her.
Jay smiled. She thought about bringing up her problems with Van, but
decided that now was probably the worst time, especially after the position
she had put Darren in. He had made his choice, and now she had to convince Max
that Darren was his type. “Well, I have to get going,” Jay said as she stood
up from her chair and started walking towards the door. “I’m sorry I had to
make you choose. I know I had the hardest time getting over you, but I’m made
my peace with the past. Now it’s your turn.”
“I know, and I will,” Darren replied as she walked out the door. He sighed,
letting his face fall into his hands as he tried to think about what was about
to happen. It would be hard to keep up the “gay” idea, and even harder going
through with this blind date.
“Hey, you,” Leonie said from the door as she poked her head into the
room. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he answered, not holding up his head.
Leonie walked into the room and sat down in the chair Jay had previously
occupied. “What happened?”
“She gave me an ultimatum, that’s what happened. It was either friendship
or nothing at all, and I chose friendship, as hard as that’s going to be.”
“You still love her deeply, don’t you?”
“Deeper than anyone could possibly know. And seeing her with someone
else just tears me up inside.”
“Someone else? Is she going out with somebody?”
“Yeah, Van,” Darren vehemently spit out his name.
“Come on, he can’t be that bad,” Leonie tried to reason with him even
though she knew what he was going through.
“Oh, he is,” he replied, leaving out his reasons why, thinking that it
was best to talk them over with Jay instead of Leonie. “I’ve met him once, and
already I don’t like him.”
“Give him a chance, Darren. Maybe Jack needs someone new in her life
to judge you against, and when she figures out that you’re the one for her,
she’ll come running back to you.”
“I seriously hope so,” he said aloud, but thought, ‘Not after what I told her.’