Jack stood motionless in her shower with her head pressed against the tiles on the wall. Now, more than ever, she wanted to see Darren. After that confrontation with Dan, she simply didn’t want to be around anymore. Everything had just gotten so messed up lately that she thought nothing could fix it. She turned off the water and walked into her room with a towel draped around her body.
After changing into new clothes, Jack sat down on the bed. She reached below her mattress and pulled out a set of three pictures. The top one was of her and her father at Disney Land when she was eight. She smiled as she stared at it for nearly an hour. The next photo was actually a strip of four. She and Dan had taken them when they were at Great America that time he came to the States and she took him out. The four little pictures were meant to be funny, and they were. Jack giggled as she looked at each separate one. The final photo was one of her and Darren the day that she met his parents. It had been taken a month before the breakup at a small gathering with his family.
Jack immediately began to cry as she stared at the picture. “Why?” she wailed. “Why did you have to do this? I love you so much!” When she finally stopped, her clock read 8:30 PM. She needed to get back to the hospital. Leonie was still downstairs waiting for her. She had also taken the time to freshen up.
“Leo!” Jack wearily called as she descended the stairs.
“I’m in the living room,” Leonie hollered back. Jack walked over and sat down on an unoccupied couch across from her.
“What are you watching?” she asked.
“Nothing,” Leonie sighed. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m better,” Jack said as she plastered a weak smile on her face.
“Okay, then it’s back to the hospital again,” Leonie told her as she stood up. Jack reluctantly followed her out to the car.
They silently drove back to the hospital. Jack managed to completely bite off her nails during the trip. She was nervous. She wanted to see Darren, but had no idea of what to say to him when she did up until she remembered the notes in her pocket, which she had transferred into her new clothing after her shower. Jack pulled them out and began reading them.
“What’s that?” Leonie asked, looking over at her.
“Nothing,” Jack answered, putting the notes back into her pocket.
They arrived at the hospital minutes later. Walking down the stark white halls, Jack’s already tense nerves became more irritated when they reached the waiting room door. As Leonie opened it, Jack saw, to her surprise, that most of the room had already cleared out. Only Nadia, Ben, and Angi were left talking amongst themselves.
“Where’d everybody go?” Leonie asked.
“Home,” Nadia replied.
“Home? What about Dan?” Leonie continued questioning.
“He went home an hour ago,” Ben said.
“Well, I can tell you one thing, he never made it,” she replied with concern. “I’m calling his cell.”
“Uh… problem,” Nadia answered. “He left it here.” She held it up so that everyone could see.
“Shit!” Leonie yelled.
“He’s out for a drive,” Jack finally spoke up. “He always does this when he’s pissed. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Oh,” Leonie sighed.
“He should be back soon. I’d call the house just in case he’s already there,” Jack advised. She headed for the door and added, “I’m gonna take a little walk. I’ll be right back.” She wandered out into the hall, her first stop the nurses desk. “Darren Hayes,” she told the nurse.
The old woman sitting at the desk just began to laugh as she said, “Sorry, I’m not allowed to tell anyone that.”
“But I’m his girlfriend,” Jack began arguing.
“Yeah, and I’m Nikki Taylor,” the nurse retorted. “Look, honey, there’s no way I’m telling you his room number.”
“Bitch,” Jack mumbled as she walked away. ‘I guess I’ll just have to find it myself,’ she thought. Looking at a map of the hospital’s layout, she quickly located the ICU on the third floor and headed for the elevators. She knew she had to be as quick as possible to escape security. She found a storage closet near the elevators on the third floor and went inside. She found a white doctor’s coat and quickly put it on. She easily passed security with little more than a smile and batting eyes. She looked into each room until she found Darren’s.
It being the first time Jack had seen him in two long days, she was shocked at his nearly dead appearance in the bed. Slowly and cautiously walking inside, she took in the scene with a deep breath. He looked exactly the way she had after her accident, tubes, monitors, and all. Jack sat down beside him and took her notes out.
“I have so much to tell you,” she whispered, taking his hand. “I miss you so much. I don’t know why I was so cruel to you. Maybe if I had paid more attention, I could have prevented this from happening. Maybe if I had actually realized my love for you back then, you’d be in my arms instead of a hospital bed, dying.
“Darren, I do love you. I just never had the guts to tell you. I know this might sound corny, but I even wrote a song for you. I remembered that day you sang that David Gray song to me, so I guess this is the favor returned. It’s entitled ‘I Love You,’ and I wrote it this morning, so it’s not perfect. Anyway, I hope you like it.”
Jack cleared her throat and unfolded the other piece of paper. Before starting, she quickly read the lyrics over. “I have a smile,” she softly sang, “stretched from ear to ear… to see you walking down the road… We meet at the lights… I stare for a while… The world around us disappears… Just you and me on this island of hope… A breath between us could be miles… Let me surround you, my sea to your shore… Let me be the calm you seek… Oh and every time I'm close to you there’s too much I can't say… and you just walk away. And I forgot… to tell you I love you… And the night's too long… and cold here… without you… I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so… Oh and every time I'm close to you there’s too much I can't say… and you just walk away… And I forgot… to tell you I love you… and the night’s too long… and cold here without you. I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the words to say I need you so.”
Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes as she finished singing her song to Darren. She wiped them away and said, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I can’t say it enough. I really do. And guess what? We’re going to have a baby.” Se took his hand and gently placed it on her belly. Jack smiled when she felt the warmth of his fingers emulating throughout her body. “Do you feel it?” she asked. “It’s 100% yours. I’m three months along, so I guess you can pretty much tell when it was conceived. Can you believe it? And no one actually thought I’d ever have kids. Not even Dan.
“Please, Darren. Don’t die. I need you to make it. If not for me, then for the baby. Please,” she broke down as the sensors began going off warning her of possible danger. “I love you.” Jack leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Just as she pulled away, his heart stopped.
Jack ran out of the room and down the hall towards a set of stairs not guarded by security as tears streamed down her face. She didn’t look back as she ran down to the first floor and into the waiting room where Leonie, Nadia, Ben, and Angi were still trying to get a hold of Dan. Jack burst through the door, crying, and fell to her knees in front of them.
“Jack?” Nadia questioned. “What happened?”
Leonie kneeled down beside Jack and carefully moved the hair away from her face. “Honey, what’s the matter? Where have you been?”
“Upstairs… Darren’s room… sensors went off… he died,” Jack said between sobs.
Nadia, Ben, and Angi exchanged worried glances. “Are you sure?” Angi asked. Jack sadly nodded. Angi covered her face with her hand as her own tears began pouring down her face. Ben tried to pull her in for a hug to comfort her, but she pushed away wanting to be left alone.
Nadia sat down on the couch unable to think about anything else. She tried to push the pain away, but the tears kept on coming. She looked at Jack and Leonie on the floor and burst into a full sob.
“I begged him not to die,” Jack was saying. “I told him I loved him. I told him about the baby. But he didn’t listen. He couldn’t. Why? Why did I do this to him?”
Dan had just arrived at the hospital and was entering the waiting room when he saw his friends sobbing. “What’s going on?” he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Darren’s dead!” Nadia wailed. Dan could feel his knees buckle as he fell onto the nearest couch. He suddenly found it hard to breathe now that his heart had sunk to the floor.