1
week before Jack’s 25th birthday
“I thought April showers brought May flowers, not snow storms,” Jack said as she stared out the window at the falling snowflakes. “I’m never going to get used to this again.”
“Yeah, you are,” Darren replied as he took her hand and led her to the living room couch. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as he turned on the TV. He flipped the channel to MTV as Lifehouse came on with their video for “Breathing.” “Dance with me,” Darren said as he pulled Jack up into his arms in the center of the living room.
“Okay,” she laughed as she positioned her hear on his shoulder and her arms beneath his.
“This is a great song,” he commented, holding her a little closer.
“I think ‘Everything’ is so much better,” Jack replied as she turned off the TV and began to hum the other tune. “Find me here, speak to me. I want to feel you. I need to hear you. You are the light that’s leading me to a place where I find peace again…”
“You’re right, that song is better, but not as good as ‘I Knew I Loved You,’” Darren said.
“That’s a really beautiful song, but I still like ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ more.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s so much softer and the lyrics are, uh, I just can’t describe them. They get to me like no other song ever has. I swear, I wanna cry every time I hear them.”
Darren gently placed a kiss on her lips as he hugged her tightly. “I’m glad you like it,” he whispered, looking deep into her bright green eyes.
“Come with me,” Jack said as she took his hand and led him to the studio. “I’ve been working with Dan on some of my own music, and I want you to hear it now that I actually have a few pieces that I’m proud of and finished with.” She pressed the playback button for the first track.
Darren instantly like the Spanish beat and asked, “What’s it called?”
“It’s called ‘Ain’t It Funny,’” Jack answered. She stopped at the chorus and flipped to the next track on the reel. “This second song is called ‘Goodbye To You.’ I wrote it when we were apart. I guess that’s when I had some of my most inspiration.”
Darren listened to the whole thing before he commented. “I can see what you’re trying to say in this song even though I completely disagree with it now that we’re back together.”
“You’re right, but I still like the song,” Jack replied as she let the tape play. She didn’t realize that “I Love You” was beginning to play.
“What’s this?” Darren instantly asked when he heard the slow music playing in the background.
“Oh, this?” she nervously replied as she stopped the tape. “Nothing, nothing at all. Just something that I started working on, but never finished.”
“No, I’ve heard it before. I just can’t put my finger on where,” he said. “Keep playing it. I’d like to hear the rest if you don’t mind.”
“Trust me, you’ve never heard it before,” Jack assured him.
“Jack, is something wrong?” Darren asked.
“No,” she said. “I just really don’t want anyone hearing this song.”
“Why not? It sounds really beautiful if you ask me. Come on, let me hear it,” he pleaded as he gave Jack those sad puppy dog eyes. Annoyed by how he could make her turn into mush, she pressed play again. Once it was over, he asked, “Why do I know that song?”
“Maybe because I wrote it for you and sang it while you were unconscious,” she quietly replied as she stared down at the floor.
“That was you?” Darren whispered as he held her chin up with his hand so he could look into her eyes again. Jack nodded. “That was the one thing I managed to hear while I was waking up in the hospital that day. Somehow I knew it was your voice leading me home, so I stayed and listened. It was you that kept me alive in all senses of the word.”
Jack could feel the tears that formed in her eyes. She closed them and felt Darren’s thumb gently wipe the tears that managed to fall down her cheek. “You always have to make me cry, don’t you?” she asked.
Darren kissed her and answered, “If it’s a good thing, then yes.” Jack nodded as she kissed him again. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Just as they were about to leave the studio, Dan walked in, his hair a disheveled mess and his eyes blood red. “Danny, what the hell happened to you?” Jack asked.
“Nadia,” he simply replied in a gruff voice. Dan pulled out a pack of cigarettes and was just about to light one when Jack snatched it out of his hand.
“That’s not healthy for you or me, so no more,” she harshly ordered.
Dan turned away from her and sat down on his chair. “Jack, please, tell me where she is. Tell me how I can reach her. Let me hear her voice once more,” he begged. She could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes as she stared at him in his miserable state. He really had his heart set on Nadia.
“She’s in Chicago staying with her parents until she has the baby,” Jack finally cracked. “She’s calling me today if you want to hear her voice.”
“Thank you!” Dan cried as he hugged her.
“You owe me big time,” she replied. “I want a nice gift for my birthday.”
“You’ll get one,” he said.
“Birthday?” Darren asked.
“Yeah, hon. It’s next Monday. Didn’t I ever tell you?” Jack replied.
“No,” he answered. “Then I’d better tell you mine is in two days.”
“You little shit!” she yelled. “You wait until two days before your birthday to tell me! How am I supposed to get you something nice if I don’t know?”
“I don’t want anything. After all that I’ve been through, I think having you back in my life is the best gift you can give me.”
“Aw, Darren, you’re doing it again.” He gently held Jack’s chin up again and kissed her.
“Guys, spare me the pain,” Dan groaned. They walked out of the studio leaving him alone. He put his head on a stack of papers and closed his eyes. Dan didn’t know how long he had slept, but when he woke up, a blanket covered his shoulders and a sandwich was set out in front of him. He stood up and walked out of the studio, his appetite not stirred by the sandwich.
“Dan, get upstairs,” Darren whispered from the top of the steps. “Jack is on the phone with Nadia.” Dan shot up the back staircase and ran into Jack’s room as quietly as possible.
“Yeah, everything’s good,” Jack was saying. “Hon, my phone is running out of battery power. Hold on one sec while I put you on the speaker.” She turned the speaker on and put the phone back on the stand.
“Can you hear me?” Nadia asked in a clear voice.
“Yeah,” Jack spoke up. “So, how are you doing? How is the baby?”
“We’re all good. Only a few weeks left before I’m due.”
“That’s wonderful. Too bad I can’t be there.”
“Yeah,” Nadia sighed.
“You’re thinking about Dan, aren’t you?” Jack asked as she looked over at her cousin sitting on the floor and tentatively listening to the conversation without speaking a word.
“Yeah.” Nadia paused and took a shaky breath. “I shouldn’t have gone off like I did. I shouldn’t have completely shut him out and left like I did. I was so wrong. I wish I would take it all back. I’m so much more stressed out now that I ever was before. I’ve gone to the hospital several times because of close calls. I swear, the doctors are telling me that I need to stop worrying about things and just calm down, but I can’t. It’s fucking impossible. I cry for hours on end wondering if I did the right thing, then realize I didn’t. I want to come back and say I’m sorry, but it’s just too late. I can’t believe how foolish I was. I’m even worse than you.”
“Oh, honey, no you’re not. We’re about the same,” Jack replied, trying not to get pissed.
“I just offended you, didn’t I?” Nadia said, beginning to cry.
“Nadi! Stop that! You’re already under a shit load of stress. You don’t need me to add to your problems.”
“I know, I just feel bad because I am like a loose cannon, I go off so easily and, well, you know me! I can’t help the things I say. That’s why I regret acting the way I did. Just don’t you go around and tell anyone. I really don’t want Dan to hear any of this. I don’t deserve him. He’s better off without me.”
Dan was ready to call out to Nadia and tell her that she was wrong, but Darren caught him with a swift kick to the side. Dan managed to hold in whatever he was about to say and stayed on the ground until Jack was done with her conversation.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she lied.
“Changing the subject to something a little more upbeat, how are you?” Nadia asked as she dried her eyes.
“Well, my birthday is in a week, but I think you already knew that.”
“Yeah, I sent your gift last week so that you would get it in time.”
“That reminds me, I need your address so I can send you at least a card when the baby arrives.”
“Oh, yeah, sure.”
Jack quickly scribbled the address that Nadia recited to her and left it on her nightstand. “I’d better let you go. Long distance is a killer on the phone bill.”
“Okay, Jackie. Talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
Jack turned off the speaker and the phone automatically disconnected. She turned to Dan who was still sitting on the floor rubbing the side that Darren kicked. He seemed to have miraculously changed into a much happier person now that he had heard what Nadia said.
“I think I know exactly what I’m going to do,” he said, getting to his feet.
“It better not be something stupid,” Jack replied.
“Believe me, it’s not,” Dan answered as he began walking away.
“Before you go, answer me one thing,” she said. “Are you doing this to prove something to yourself or do you really love her?”
Dan turned around with a wide smile on his face. “I love her. I really do.” He quickly left the room and went back downstairs.
“You two are exactly alike,” Darren observed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack retorted.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I’m just saying that you two are alike.”
“Why do you say that?” she interrogated.
“Both of you have problems expressing your love for others.”
“Bullshit!” Jack yelled as she threw a pillow into his face.