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Chapter
6: Somebody Save Me
Faith stood in her hotel room beside the open doors of the patio looking out
across the skyline of Columbus. In her left hand was a bottle of Scotch, in her
right, a glass filled with ice. She was already on her third drink, downing it
in less than a minute, and pouring herself another cup. Her mind was mixed with
strange feelings and emotions that weren’t supposed to come together under
normal circumstances. Love and hate, pain, rejection, acceptance, and
depression, all were floating around in her head as she drank her forth glass of
Scotch.
In the midst of her strange thoughts, Faith could feel herself become physically
sick. The hard liquor was taking its toll on her stomach. She didn’t care,
though. It wasn’t like this was the first time she had gotten smashed to the
point where she wouldn’t be able to remember what happened afterwards. She
leaned against the frame of the patio door and looked out at the stars twinkling
above the city lights.
“I’m so sorry, Becky,” Faith began to cry as she poured more Scotch into
her glass. “I wish I knew how serious your problem was. I wish I knew how
addicting heroin would be. I wish I could stop myself from becoming you.”
Faith downed her glass and threw it onto the bed, the ice spilling all over the
neat covers.
The camera was sitting on the tripod waiting to be used. Faith sat down in front
of it and used her remote to turn it on. “My life is a fucking nightmare,”
she said once it was taping. “I’m addicted to heroin and I’m an alcoholic.
Look at me, I’m fucked for life. I can’t stop craving more and more of this
fucking drug. I can’t take it anymore! This needs to stop! I’ve already lost
one person because of an overdose. Would I really be missed that much if I just
did the same thing? I know Spaz would be happy. She’d take over the empire
that I’ve built with my own two hands. For crying out loud, she easily took
Becky’s place when she died. I know she’s waiting for me to fuck up so she
can take my place as leader. She’s always tried to oust me. Why not give her
my leadership on a silver platter, make it easier on everyone.”
Faith stopped filming as her anger reached the point where she wanted to throw
something across the room. Instead of taking it out in a radical physical
manner, she grabbed her bag and began to look through it for the box of drugs.
She pulled out all the contents, but was unable to find it in the heap of crap
she carried around in a mess. As she overturned the bag and shook it, a bottle
of strong painkillers fell out.
“This ought to work,” she said, opening the orange bottle and shaking out
the contents. Six were left. “Perfect.”
There was a part of Faith’s mind telling her to call up her friends and make
sure to tell them a final goodbye before she dove into the stash of drugs in her
hands. Picking up the phone, she dialed Darren’s room first hoping that he’d
be there. One ring… two rings… three rings… she was tempted to hang up,
but waited on the line until after the forth ring when he finally picked up.
“Hello?” Darren asked in a groggy voice.
“Hey, it’s me, Faith,” she replied, sitting down on the bed.
“Faith, it’s nearly two in the morning. What are you still doing up? Get
some sleep,” he said, ready to hang the phone up again.
“I just called to say thank you for what you did yesterday on the bus. I
didn’t want you to think that I didn’t appreciate you trying to make me feel
better. I really did. Thank you for being such a wonderful person and trying to
pick up my spirits. I have to go now. I just wanted to say thank you and…
goodbye,” Faith babbled.
“Bye,” Darren replied as he let the phone drop onto the receiver.
Faith let the phone slip out of her hand and onto the floor beside her bed. If
everyone else was going to act the way Darren did, she really didn’t need to
call and say goodbye. It was pointless. She grabbed the bottle of Scotch and
began to take each of the six pills in her hand one by one with a swig of the
liquor. She proceeded to turn on the radio beside her bed and looked for a song
appropriate for the occasion.
“Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And when the start fall
I will lie awake
You’re my shooting star”
(Michelle Branch - Goodbye To You)
Faith leaned back against the bed as the last of the pills made their way down
her throat and into her stomach.
* * *
Darren couldn’t sleep after that weird phone call from Faith. For some reason,
it sounded as if she were drunk. He knew her drinking habits and wasn’t
surprised, but there was something in the tone of her voice telling him that it
wasn’t just the alcohol talking. Her goodbye seemed final, almost too final.
Darren flew out of his bed and was out the door before he knew it. He ran down
the five flights of stairs to her first floor room and began to knock on the
door. There was no way anyone could hear his pounding over the music in her
room. Of course the door was locked and double bolted so that not even the
manager could get in.
Darren ran down the hall to the lobby doors and behind the hotel where Faith’s
room was located right across from the pool. The patio door was wide open, the
curtains floating in the soft night breeze. Feeling almost guilty for going into
her room without permission, he hesitated. ‘What if she drank herself to
death?’ his mind yelled, willing him to hop the iron gate and run inside. He
looked around the room trying to find where she went. Going deeper inside, he
discovered the glass on the bed and the ice melting on the sheets.
‘She’s definitely been drinking,’ Darren though, the pungent scent of
liquor filling his nostrils as he walked around the bed. His foot hit a small
bottle that rolled across the floor. He went after it and picked it up.
‘Painkillers… this isn’t good,’ he nervously thought.
Darren turned around and found her lying on the floor beside the bed holding a
bottle of Scotch against her chest, it being nearly empty. ‘Great,’ Darren
thought as he cautiously approached her. ‘What if she’s already dead? What
if I didn’t make it in time? Calm down. You need to keep your cool.’ He
stared at her and watched as the bottle rose and fell with each of her breaths.
‘She’s still alive!’ Darren kneeled down beside her and gently scooped her
into his arms.
“Faith, love. Open your eyes. Come on; show me you’re still here with us.
Let me know you’re still alive,” he softly whispered as he cradled her. No
response. She was out cold. He looked at the floor beside him and saw the phone.
‘I’ll call the paramedics,’ Darren thought. He began to dial, but soon
hung up when Faith seemed to awaken from the dead.
“Why… you shouldn’t have… Let me die… please… no more… need to get
away,” she mumbled.
“I’m not letting you die. I’m calling for an ambulance,” Darren replied
as he started to reach for the phone again.
“No… Leonie… Spaz… Mor… can’t take… pressure…”
Darren stood there and watched her for a few seconds. She looked as if she were
fighting to stay alive.
“I wanna…” Faith’s mouth clamped shut as it became apparent that she was
going to throw up. Darren gently picked her up and carried her to the bathroom
just as she was about to stop fighting her reflexes. With her head in the
toilet, she let go of everything in her stomach. Darren sat there holding her
head as she continued to gag and cough after each episode. She finished, wiping
her mouth with her hand, and turned to face Darren. Tears were streaming down
her face.
“I’m sorry, Darren. I’m so sorry!” she cried. Darren wrapped his arms
around her and gently comforted her as best as he could. Faith rested her head
on the toilet seat, her eyes still spilling tears that probably weren’t going
to stop for a long time.
“Are you done?” Darren asked.
“Yeah,” she sniffled. He lifted her head again and let her rest on the side
of the sink instead of the toilet. Taking her hand, he softly brushed his
fingers over it.
“Was this about Rebecca?”
Faith gazed at him with a sorrowful look in her deep blue eyes. Darren knew it
was about the girl in the video. Losing a friend because of a drug overdose was
just as painful as losing someone in a car accident. It was amazing that she had
made it through this much pain without cracking in the last seven months. She
slowly fell asleep and Darren stood up to grab her pillow and blanket. He came
back and wrapped her in the blanket and placed the pillow beneath her head. She
was breathing normally, but Darren checked her pulse anyway just to make sure
she’d make it though the night. He settled down on the floor beside her and
made himself comfortable.
‘This is going to be a long night,’ Darren though as his head rolled onto
Faith’s pillow and he too slowly began to drift off into the land of nod.
* * *
Darren woke up the next morning with a stiff back and shoulders. He began
stretching out when he noticed that Faith was still lying beside the toilet
asleep. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as he stood up and walked into
her room. The sun was shining through the open patio doors. The sound of
children laughing and splashing around in the pool filled the room.
‘This is just wonderful,’ Darren thought as he looked out the door to see
Morgan and Ben walking towards Faith’s room talking. Just as he was about to
flag them down, he heard a loud moan in the bathroom. He ran to see that Faith
was finally waking up.
She stirred, her eyes opening, glazed over, expressionless. She blinked several
times as she tried to adjust to the light and saw Darren standing at the door.
“What happened last night? I feel like total shit,” Faith said as she tried
to right herself. She looked around and realized that she was in the bathroom.
“Oh, God. Please don’t tell me I got drunk again.”
“You did,” Darren hesitantly replied. “And that’s not all.”
“What the hell else did I do?”
“You tried to kill yourself.”
Faith moaned loudly as she slid to the floor. “My life is really turning into
shit,” she groaned. Darren walked over and picked her up to carry her to the
bed. She didn’t protest, only wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her
head on his shoulder.
“Get some more sleep,” Darren replied as he delicately placed her on top of
the bed and started to head for the door.
“Don’t go,” Faith moaned as she took hold of his hand. “Stay with me for
a little while. I don’t wanna be alone.” Darren turned back and lay on the
bed beside her. “Thank you for saving my life.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied as he wrapped his arms around her. She curled
up next to him with her head beneath his chin and fell asleep again. ‘I give
up,’ Darren thought as he let sleep take over his body again.
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