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Chapter
13: Screaming Infidelities
“I’m lonely, oh so lonely,” Faith sang as she played with her camera on
the tour bus. The band’s time in Las Vegas was up, and now it was time to move
on to Los Angeles. She kept shifting the camera between each of her hands, her
induced drug high keeping her from staying still. She stood up and started to
walk around as she said, “I wonder what I can do around here. I’m bored as
hell. What kind of trouble can I make? Hmm… I know! I’ll go bug everybody!
That should be amusing.”
Faith started to walk down the narrow corridor of the bus, her camera out in
front of her looking for trouble. She passed the bunks, looking through each one
to see if someone was asleep or maybe making out. ‘Sweet revenge,’ she
thought, remembering the first night of the tour in Joliet when Spaz caught her
and Darren kissing out on the patio of the hotel restaurant.
Just as Faith was about to finish her round of the bunks, she discovered Spaz
and Karl in Spaz’s bunk, making out as she had predicted. “HAHA! Revenge is
mine!” Faith screamed as she started to run away after Spaz caught her taping.
“You little bitch!” Spaz yelled as she abruptly pulled away from Karl and
started running after her. Faith made it all the way into the kitchen where
everyone else was congregated when Spaz caught up to her.
Faith hopped into Darren’s lap, giggling as she threw her head back, unable to
control her movements. Spaz walked up to her and grabbed the camera out of her
hands. She opened it to find the tape missing. Putting the camera down on the
table, she angrily asked, “Where is it?”
“Where’s what?” Faith innocently replied with a wide smile on her face.
“The tape!” Spaz yelled at her.
“I don’t have the tape,” Faith said as she giggled.
Spaz eyed her carefully. She saw that Faith was acting the way she usually did
when she was high. “Did just shoot up?” she asked, her time revenge coming
near.
“What?” Faith immediately shot up out of Darren’s lap and looked Spaz
straight in the eye.
“You heard me, did you just shoot up?” Spaz asked again.
Darren looked at Faith and said, “What’s she talking about?”
All eyes were on Faith waiting for her response to the question. She stiffened
up and replied, “I did not shoot up. I don’t shoot up. I don’t even know
what that is.”
“Bull shit, Faith! You know exactly what it is!” Spaz yelled as she became
increasingly angry. She made sure that she didn’t say anything that could
possibly get her in trouble also. “You’ve got a fucking stash of heroin in
your bag, not to mention coke and weed. Don’t deny it.” She turned to the
others and added, “Just look in her bag and see for yourself. She’s hiding
the stuff in a small black leather case.”
“Oh, fuck off, Spaz! Its not like you haven’t shot up yourself!” Faith
yelled back. She leaned in closer and whispered, “If I’m going down,
you’re coming right with me.”
“Find proof,” Spaz smirked. She took Faith’s arm and turned it upright so
that the inner skin of her elbow was showing. There was a large purple welt
instead of creamy white. “See! She has been shooting up! Look at this!” Spaz
told everyone as she held Faith’s arm out in front of them.
“That could have come from anything!” Morgan took Faith’s defense.
“It’s happened before, from equipment falling.”
“Then what do you call that?” Spaz asked as she pointed to a small red dot
in the center of the bruise.
“The point of impact,” Morgan replied as she took Faith’s arm out of
Spaz’s grasp and stood in front of her. She came close to her face and
growled, “Go back to your bunk and don’t come back here until you’re ready
to apologize for being so stupid.”
Spaz’s nose crinkled as her blood began to boil. She clenched her fists as she
turned around, angry as hell, and stormed back to her bunk. By now, Faith was
already in trouble. Morgan could see that quizzical expression on Darren’s
face.
“Is Spaz telling the truth?” he asked before Morgan had time to sneak Faith
out of the room and back to her bunk. “Are you really taking heroin?”
“No!” Faith bluntly denied as she turned to Morgan with a desperate look on
her face begging for her help.
“Is that what you took with the alcohol the night I found you?” Darren kept
questioning as he became angrier with her silence.
“No!” Faith continued to deny. “I’m not taking heroin! I’m not
shooting up!”
Morgan quickly grabbed her and pushed her out of the kitchen. “We’ll talk
about this later!” she shouted over her shoulder to an angry and confused
Darren and the others. She took Faith to her bunk and made sure to close the
curtain tight.
“Oh, God!” Faith began to sob. “I knew it would come to this! I knew this
would happen! What was I thinking? Why did I have to do it this morning in the
bathroom? Am I really that stupid? Shit! Darren’s gonna hate me for the rest
of his life if he finds out! He’s gonna kick me off the tour, maybe turn me in
to the police!”
“Calm down,” Morgan said. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not that kind of
a person. I seriously doubt that he’d do anything like that before trying to
get you some help.”
“Don’t you remember the last time you told me that?” Faith shot back.
“The guy actually turned me in!”
“But you didn’t have any drugs in you system and you weren’t carrying
them,” Morgan replied as she sat beside Faith. “Darren is not like that guy.
He already knows about your drinking problem and he hasn’t said a think about
it even though you are under age. If he hasn’t gotten you in trouble about
that, then he’s not gonna get you in trouble for the drugs.”
“Bull shit! He doesn’t care about me that much!” Faith was sobbing again.
“He’s gonna dump me the second the tour is over! I bet he’s already
planning it!”
“GOD DAMN IT FAITH! You’re acting like a fucking idiot!” Morgan shouted
into her ear. “He’s loves you, for crying out loud! And he’s just as
scared as you are about losing him!”
Faith sniffled and asked, “What?”
Morgan’s eyes widened when she realized what she had said. “Oh, shit!” she
shrieked. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that!”
“Why? Who told you?”
“Ben told me that was what Darren told him. He told Ben that he was falling in
love with you and that he was so scared that you would leave him after the
tour.”
Faith sat in the bunk, her head resting on her palms, her biggest hopes and
fears being realized for the first time. “He loves me?” she repeated to
herself.
“Yeah,” Morgan replied.
“I bet he hates me now for being unable to tell him shit,” Faith started to
cry. “You know what? I quit on the whole relationship business. I’m just
gonna break up with him later on tonight when we reach LA.”
“Faith, you can’t do that to him,” Morgan tried to reason. “You’re
gonna break his heart! He loves you! What makes you think he’s gonna stop
loving you?”
“My drug problem,” Faith mumbled as she crawled out of Morgan’s bunk and
into hers. She hid away for the rest of the day not wanting to talk to anyone.
She could feel the effects of the heroin slowly giving in to the awful stuff.
She completely forgot about this part. Every other time she had shot up, she
used enough to knock her out. This was the first time she only used a small
amount.
Faith’s stomach began doing flips causing her to run to the bathroom every few
minutes to throw up. She stayed there after beginning to feel her whole body
become dead weight that she wasn’t able to carry around. Her arms and legs
were unable to move, and she felt sleepy. Yet every time she dozed off, she’d
be hit with another bout of vomiting.
“No more,” Faith cried to herself in the tiny bathroom on the bus. “I
can’t do this anymore.”
A knock came at her door, but being in such a horrible state, all she could do
was shout, “Go away!”
“Not until you talk to me,” Darren replied from behind the door. “I’m
coming in.”
“NO! Don’t!” Faith screamed as he opened the door to find her sitting on
the floor beside the toilet, vomit all over her chin and clothes.
“Faith! You look horrible! What happened to you?” he immediately asked as he
got down on his knees.
“I’m not feeling well,” she replied. “I just wanna be left alone.”
“Not until I talk to you,” Darren said. “Is Spaz telling the truth? Have
you really been doing heroin?”
“You promised me you’d never ask me about my past,” Faith growled. “You
promised me!”
“I know I promised you, but this is a serious problem. Heroin can kill you. I
know it killed you friend. The last thing I wanna see is you going six feet
under,” he replied, gently stroking her forehead with the back of his hand.
“You’re very warm. Maybe I should take you to your bunk.”
Faith brushed him off and asked, “Do you love me?”
Darren was caught off guar by the question. He stared at her with wide eyes and
replied, “Why? Who told you?”
“It’s none of your business who told me, I just wanna know if you love me or
not.”
Darren looked away from her as he answered, “Yes.”
“Well, so do I,” Faith replied, her voice barely audible.
Darren looked up at her, amazed at what she was saying. “You… You do?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you,” Darren whispered.
“I love you, too,” Faith began to cry as she wrapped her arms around him,
unable to let go.
Chapter 12: Sex, Lies, and Videotape
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