Chapter 20: A Deeper Meaning Of Love

Darren was sitting on the rocking chair in Hope’s bedroom staring down at his palm pilot screen, which showed a message from Leonie at the moment. Hope was resting in his other arm as he read the letter, appropriately titled “Where the FUCK have you been all this time?” He laughed at all the remarks she was making about his disappearance and the fact that he hadn’t called any of his friends since the baby was born. She was also bitching about the fact that she still hadn’t seen pictures.

As he put the palm pilot down on the table in front of him, Darren could hear footsteps treading down the hall towards the room. He looked up to see Morgan standing there, her arms folded against her chest as she leaned on the doorframe.

“So, that’s where you’ve been hiding,” she said.

“Yeah, the only quiet place in this whole apartment besides the roof, but it’s too cold to be up there today,” Darren answered as he stood up and put Hope back into her crib.

“I’m picking Faith up in a few minutes. Do you wanna come with me?” Morgan asked.

“Nah, I’ll stay here and relax for the time being. There are a lot of things on my mind,” he replied.

“Really? What?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking really hard about this, and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that if I don’t do it now, any later would be too late.”

“Oh, my God! Are you doing what I think you’re doing, or am I just on a totally different plain than you?”

“Depends on what you think I’m thinking.”

“I’m thinking you’re gonna propose to Faith some time in the near future.” Darren smiled shyly as he looked away. Morgan gasped and screeched in delight. “Oh, my God! When are you doing it?” she asked.

“Tonight,” Darren said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. Inside it was a beautiful three-karat diamond ring with a twenty-four karat gold band. Morgan stared at it as if she had never seen a diamond before in her life. Her eyes were nearly popping out of her head when he took it out of the box and put it in the palm of her hand.

“Oh, lord! I can’t believe I’m holding such a big diamond in my hand! Faith is the luckiest girl in the world! Oh, my God! I wish I had that big of a diamond on my finger!” Morgan rambled as she held it up to the light and beside her ring to compare the size. She gave it back to Darren, her face still a glow. “I can’t believe you’re finally proposing. Faith is going to be so surprised. She’s not even expecting it.”

“I know, that’s why I’m trusting you not to tell her before you guys get home tonight,” Darren replied. “I can trust you, right?”

“Of course! She didn’t find out about what was going on in Miami, did she?”

“Okay, now go! I have to set up for tonight.”

“What are you doing anyway?” Morgan questioned. Darren looked at her for a second then bent over and whispered his plan into her ear. Her eyes continued to widen as he kept explaining. When he was done, she said, “Maybe I should take Hope with me and we can go to my parent’s place for the night so you two can be alone.”

“Oh, you’d really do that for me?” he replied.

“Of course! I just better see that ring on her finger when I get home tomorrow,” she answered.

“I guarantee that it will be on her finger when you see her tomorrow morning.”

* * *

Faith really didn’t want to leave the hospital that afternoon, but when Morgan arrived with Hope, her mood changed from one of incredible sadness to absolute delight when she saw her daughter.

“Where’s my little girl, huh? Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” she said as she swung her around. Morgan took her bag and they walked out of the hospital to the waiting cab. It was a short ride home, only about ten minutes. Both Faith and Morgan were absolutely silent. Faith, still angry for what had been said the day before, and Morgan, trying to keep herself from telling any details about tonight. They arrived at the apartment complex, and as Faith went to get her bag from the trunk of the cab, Morgan formulated a plan as to how she’s sneak out.

“Hey, I’m getting some ice cream. I’ll be back in a few,” Morgan said as she took Hope from Faith’s arms. “I’ll take the baby with me just so you have some time alone.”

“Whatever,” Faith mumbled as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. As she opened the door, the first things she smelled were vanilla bean candles glowing in the darkness of the room. Walking inside, she noticed a bouquet of white lilies on the counter of the kitchen. After picking them up, Faith found a card nestled between two of the buds.

“Follow the white rose petals,” it simply said. Curiously, Faith looked down at her feet to find the rose petals that led down the hall towards her room. She followed them and opened the door slowly. Inside her room was an even larger assortment of white flowers ranging from roses to daisies to lilies lying on her bed. She looked around and found more vanilla bean candles burning. At the edge of the bed she noticed another note. This time it said, “Walk to the closet.”

“Okay,” Faith replied aloud as she made her way to her closet. Inside was a simple black velvet dress with one more card attached to it.

“Go to the bathroom and change.”

Faith did what she was asked and quickly swapped her jeans and tee shirt for the dress. As she strode out of the bathroom, another line of white rose petals had appeared along with a card that read, “Go to the kitchen.” She walked into the kitchen and found the table lit by candles and two plates full of food set out. Sitting down at the table, she waited for her “date” to show up.

From behind her, Darren appeared dressed in a nice shirt and slacks. In his hand he held a single red rose. He gave Faith the rose and sat down across from her with a wide smile on his face.

“What’s all this about?” Faith asked as she looked over at him.

“Nothing really. I just wanted to have a nice dinner with you, that’s all,” Darren answered.

“Right,” she skeptically replied as she picked up her fork. “But really, why the romantic setting? We could have just sat in front of the TV and had a nice dinner.”

“I wanted only one night with you, that’s all. One night that was perfect. Something that we never had when we were going out on tour,” he said.

“Oh, so this is what you call making up for lost time, huh?”

“You could say that. I’d like to set things right for once. I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world back then…”

Faith quickly interrupted him, “No, you were the best boyfriend I could ask for. I was the bad one. I should have told you about my past. I should never have made you promise not to ask me about it. I’m sorry for everything, not telling you about my drug problem, not telling you about having cancer, and not telling you about Hope. I’m the one who made all the mistakes in this relationship. I should be the one doing this for you.”

“No, don’t say that. The only mistake you made was leaving. And I understand why you did it. You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know you were frightened and afraid that I’d reject you. To tell you the truth, I did hate you for a brief period of time, but that dissipated as soon as I realized you weren’t coming back. That’s when I started to miss you and want you back. And now that we’re together again, that’s all that matters. What happened in the past is ancient history. It doesn’t matter anymore. We need to live in the moment,” Darren explained as he took her hands.

Faith smiled as she stared deep into his blue/gray eyes. “Okay,” she whispered, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and started to pick at her food with her fork.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she answered.

Faith and Darren finished dinner quietly. She contemplated what this was all about while he wondered if she’d say yes to his proposal.

“Well, Darren, thank you for the nice dinner. It was very kind of you,” Faith said politely as she stood up, her plate half empty, and walked into her room.

“Wait, where are you going?” he asked as he watched her almost run off.

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed, that’s all,” she shouted from her room.

Darren shrugged. ‘Now what am I gonna do?’ he thought, standing up and putting the plates in the sink to soak. ‘Okay, got it.’

Faith stood in her bathroom, the door opened a crack, and undressed in front of her mirror. She could see the lines of her veins all over her body. The immense pain of the disease was taking its final toll on her, and she had no control of it. All she could do was succumb to its silent ways and let it take over her body.

‘Time is so short,’ Faith thought as she stepped into the shower and turned on the water. ‘Why does mine have to be shorter than everyone else’s?’

Feeling the hot water on her skin, she pulled the curtain shut and closed her eyes, her body basking in the warm mists of steam. Her head gently rested on the stark white tiles as she kept thinking why this disease had come back at the wrong time in her life. As she stood there, the water flowing down her body, her mind flew away from the present to a time where she was happy, the previous summer.

Images of her and Darren floated past as she smiled. He had always been wonderful to her, especially in the privacy of their rooms. His touch was exceptional, particularly when having sex. ‘Oh, God how I miss the sex,’ Faith went on thinking. ‘He was so good at it.’

As she continued to remember the summer, Darren slowly made his way into the bathroom. He knocked a couple of times and said, “Can I come in?”

Faith was startled by his sudden presence and immediately jerked her head up, poking it through the curtain, and replied, “Why?”

“I just wanna talk to you,” Darren answered. “I’ll stay by the door if it’ll make you feel any more comfortable.”

“Oh,” Faith said. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“You, me, us… I don’t really know. Whatever pops into my head.”

“Okay, then, talk.”

“Well, I was just gonna say, last summer was probably the best time of my life. I never thought an eighteen-year-old girl could be such a relief from my usual stuffy, boring old friends. And I couldn’t believe that I could actually fall in love with such a wonderful young woman. When you left, though, I seriously thought I was going to live in hell the rest of my life. I missed you so much that I actually started drinking again just so I could get you off my mind, but that didn’t seem to do me any good. Leo convinced me to go back to AA, which I did. I got over my problem again, but I was still having problems adjusting to the fact that you weren’t in my life. You have no idea how much I missed you, how much I wanted you back. I told Morgan that you were everything to me.”

“I think the exact words that you used were ‘My life, my existence,’” Faith cut in as a smile came across her face.

“She told you what I said?” Darren asked.

“Yeah,” she replied, a lump forming in her throat.

“Then you know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else,” he said in a weak voice, his eyes staring down at his feet nervously waiting for her response.

“Yeah,” Faith choked, realizing that his love ran deeper than any she had ever known. Pulling back the shower curtain, she added, “I love you too.”

Without thinking, or even realizing it, Darren was flying across the room and wrapping his arms around her. He placed a tight, passionate kiss on Faith’s lips, unable to let go until he was completely out of breath. She continued to cry as he kissed her, the tears mixing with the water that dripped down her face as the shower kept running.

“I missed you so much,” Faith said, her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close to her body. “I wanted you to come looking for me, to prove to me that you loved me as much as you said, and you did. Now I know you really do love me and that we were meant to be even if our time together is short.”

“Don’t say that,” Darren replied. “Time means nothing, its what we do with it that counts.”

“Like right now?” she asked, a devious smile coming across her face.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m standing naked in the shower. What do you think I mean?”

“You want to have sex in the shower?”

“Yeah, something that I haven’t tried and was hoping to do with you someday.”

“Okay,” Darren replied as he stepped into the shower, clothes and all. Faith giggled as she started to peel away his soaking black shirt. Pulling it over his head, he leaned into her and placed a delicate kiss on the soft pale skin of her collarbone. Unable to wait any longer, she ripped off his pants and threw everything over the side of the tub and onto the floor of the bathroom. But there was something that she noticed in the pocket that made her curious. It was hard and square shaped, almost like a little box. Paying no more attention to it, she started to think about what he was doing to her body at that moment

“Mmm… Darren,” Faith moaned as he pushed her up against the white tiles and started kissing her neck. His hands gently rubbed her body in long, circular motions, aiding in her arousal. Her fingers ran over his scalp, begging him to continue while her leg rested on the faucet exposing the rest of her excited body to him.

Darren continued to move down her slick body with his tongue. As he passed her collarbone, he made his way to her soft, supple breasts. Faith moaned feeling his teeth gently bite down on her nipples and tug at them as if they were toys. She grabbed his thick blond hair and pulled him back, the pleasure intense, but still not enough.

His hands stopped their circular massage of her body as they roamed down to the soft, deep red throbbing skin between her legs. His fingers gently plunged deep into the wet center causing her to arch her back against the wall and let out a gasp. Faith let out a ragged breath as he gently probed her inner walls. He found the spot that made her cry out and stroked it with subtle but precise caresses. Her moans grew louder with each touch of his fingers. Finally, he felt her walls begin tightening and she released a long, loud moan.

“Ohhhh! Ohhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Faith screamed as she contracted around his hand repeatedly. She fell back against the wall as Darren kept her from falling. Still seeing stars, she barely made out his face as she tried to kiss him.

“Hey, don’t go weak on me just yet,” he said, keeping her upright as she fought to keep her body from falling over.

“Trust me, I’m not done yet,” Faith replied as she used the wall to help regain some stability on her feet.

“You okay?” Darren asked.

“Yeah, it was just really intense that’s all. I haven’t had sex in a long time. I guess taking an eleven month break from it caused me to get a little withdrawn and weaker. It might also be the cancer, but I’m not worrying about that.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Darren said as he eyed the sponge and the liquid soap bottle beside it. He picked up the sponge and squeezed a generous amount of the sweet scented soap onto it.

“Aw, you’re actually going to wash me,” Faith replied as he caressed the sponge against her skin. “I’ve never been sponged down before.”

“Well, I guess this is a new experience for both of us, then,” he whispered into her ear as he leaned in and gently placed a kiss behind her ear.

“Oh, how I’ve missed you,” she said in a low voice, wrapping her arms around his neck. He continued to sponge her body as she placed her head on his shoulder. “I wondered for the longest time if I’d ever see you again. I wondered how I’d be able to tell you about Hope. It was in my will, but I guess I’ll have to rewrite it now. I have plenty of time to do that, though. Right now, I just wanna be with you, to feel you, to love you in every way that I can. I denied that love for so long, and now that I’ve finally accepted it, my world will never be the same.”

“I know, me either,” he replied, prying her off his shoulder and kissing her soft pink lips. She tried moving away, but his lips were devouring her like never before, and she was enjoying it. Darren dropped the sponge and placed his hands on the curves of her ass, pulling her closer to his chest. Faith didn’t dare try to resist, only follow as he guided. His lips began to move down her body towards her breasts. He cupped them with his hand as he took her nipples into his mouth. His tongue flicked them repeatedly as she moaned and arched her back.

“I want you, Darren,” Faith cried.

Darren kept kissing her as he gently guided himself into her body. She moaned, adjusting to his fullness and pressing herself up against his chest as she felt her knees weaken. This was definitely going to be the experience of a lifetime. Slowly, he thrust into her. They groaned together as their bodies became one. His body was pressed to hers and his hands traveled reverently over her naked body as they drew closer and closer to completion.

“Oh! Darren!” Faith screamed, feeling every muscle in her body tighten as her orgasm grew. He continued to push into her, his pace increasing as he tried to hold out and let her climax first. Just when he was about to give up, Faith fell. She let out an ear-piercing scream. He felt her body contracting around him and was quickly carried over the edge, too. He exploded within her before she even had a chance to fully recover from her own orgasm. Darren leaned forward and placed his hand behind her head on the wall to steady himself as they stood together in the shower, exhausted, the water dripping over their bodies as they heaved in long, labored breaths.

With his head resting on her shoulder, Darren whispered, “That was so good.”

“I know,” Faith sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair. “So good.”

He pushed himself off the wall and said, “We should get out of here and leave some warm water from Morgan when she comes back.”

“Yeah,” she replied, reaching over and turning off the faucet. Darren gently picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. He laid her out on the bed and went back into the bathroom to retrieve his wet clothes.

“Hey, where are you going?” Faith asked when he came out and headed for the door.

“I’ll be right back,” Darren replied. “I’m just going to put this stuff in the laundry.” He walked out of the room and down the hall to where the washing and drying machines were hidden in a little room beside the kitchen. Before sticking his wet clothes into the dryer, he pulled out the ring box and took the ring out of it. Tossing it aside in a pile of other clothes, he went back into Faith’s bedroom, nervously anticipating the outcome of his proposal.

Faith was already under the covers when he returned. In the darkness, she didn’t notice his clenched fist, but felt it as he lay beside her. “What’s in your hand?” she quickly asked, trying to pry it open.

Darren pulled it away from her and answered, “I’ll show you, but you have to listen to me first.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” Faith impatiently replied. He was just about to start talking when she made a mad grab for his hand.

He pulled away again and said, “Come on, Faith. Just listen to me.”

“Uh! You’re gonna kill me with suspense!” she retorted.

Figuring that she wasn’t going to try it again, Darren started with his speech. “Faith, I want to tell you a few things, but I’m not sure how you’re gonna react, so just hear me out, okay?”

“Okay,” Faith replied. He was ready to start speaking again when she grabbed his hand and almost pried his fingers off the object. Darren managed to pull away just before she had a chance to find out what he was hiding and climbed on top of her to restrain any movements that she could make.

“Sorry it had to come to this,” he apologized. “But you’re being a royal pain in the ass. All I want to do is ask you a simple question.”

“Then ask so we can get this over with, and I can see what you’re hiding,” she said.

“Faith, I love you so much, and I want for you to spend the rest of your life with me. What I want to ask you is will you marry me?” Darren questioned as he opened his hand in front of her big blue eyes to show her the ring.

Shock, surprise, bewilderment, and God knows what other feelings ran through Faith’s mind as she stared at the three karat rock perched on the solid gold band. She could see it sparkle in the moonlight as Darren’s hand shook waiting for her reply. Faith could easily tell that he was nervous, but it was nothing compared to the way she was feeling. Her heart was ready to jump out of her chest as she contemplated what to tell him. The only word that kept running through her mind was, “Yes.”

“Really?” Darren asked, pulling up her hand and placing the ring on her finger.

Faith hadn’t realized that she had spoken aloud, but as she looked at the beautiful diamond on her finger, she nodded her head. A wide smile came across both their faces as Darren pulled her in for a long overdue kiss.

Chapter 21: Now What?

Faith Break

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