Faith
Break
“So, things worked out for everybody. Morgan was still stuck in a cast for the
next six weeks since she had pins placed in her arm to keep it together. Poor
girl. I felt sorry for her all through the trips on the bus. I could see her go
through so much pain whenever we hit a bump or pothole. At least she had Ben to
keep her company.
“That brings up a whole other thing. Who the hell is Spaz screwing? She’s
the only one of us three that hasn’t hooked up with someone on this tour bus.
I don’t get it. She’s gotta be sleeping with someone, but who? Lee? Karl?
The bus driver? Oh, hell no! Bus drive is totally out of the picture. My one
good guess had to be Karl. She seemed to be hanging around him much more than
usual. Well, I did a little snooping while in Phoenix and saw them at dinner
together. Of course, that got my wheels cranking, so naturally, I turned to
Morgan and Ben for information. Neither of them had anything. I went to Darren,
still nothing. Even Leonie, Lee, and Angi had no clue that either one of them
were even seeing each other. Of course I was pissed and wanted to know more.
After all, I told Spaz almost anything. Why the hell would she hide something
like this from me?
“Anyway, it was already July 11th by the time we reached Las Vegas, the city
of sin. A gangster’s paradise in the old days. That place is great if you have
money and a fake ID, which was exactly what I had. Darren knew I was carrying
around that stuff, but he still had no idea I had liquor or drugs on me. If he
knew, my life as it was would be over. I’d say bye-bye to everyone and get
sent straight to a prison. Oh, the things I have to put up with. But I can’t
stop my insatiable appetite for heroin. In the last few days it’s been so much
harder for my to control my urges. I was in hell, especially since Darren wanted
to be with me all the time. I couldn’t just go to my room and shoot up like I
used to, or he’d notice my odd behavior. I tried quitting cold turkey, but
that proved to be impossible. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I
quit? Was it really as hard as my psych teacher said it would be? Yes!
“Well, being in hell at one second then going into giddy mode was probably the
hardest thing to deal with. It was worse than hiding to shoot up. I had to be
perfect all day, then at night I could just slouch down and hit an all time low.
I would have tried to kill myself again if it wasn’t for the fact that I’d
probably get my ass saved again. So, I just listened to some of my most
depressing music: Lifehouse, Michelle Branch, Nickelback, and Staind. It always
seemed to make me feel better.
“Anyway, when we reached Las Vegas, I tried as hard as I possibly could to
stay away from my stash of drugs and alcohol. Then again, I was running out, so
I had to save the stuff for emergencies. I managed to channel my energies into
more productive things, like spying on Spaz and Karl to see if they were really
going out. Boy, things turned explosive when I uncovered the truth…”
Chapter 12: Sex, Lies, and Videotape
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